Evolving Systems Course, week 14: Reflecting on our semester's evolution

 Wow.  It's really interesting to read over these posts and see how much the class impacted everyone.  And myself.  For me, it wasn't necessarily what we talked about.  Though, in a way, it was.  We discussed some really fascinating things and it was wonderful to see how each person struggled and dealt with these issues.  I enjoyed watching the arguments play out and watching how closely attached we all felt to the issues at hand.  How closely attached I felt to the issues at hand.  A lot of the things we DID talk about weren't necessarily new ideas for me but that didn't mean I didn't get a new perspective on any of them.  Man, people had some cool ideas.  

What resonates with me the most, still, is deep exploration vs. far exploration.  That really struck me.  I guess I spent most of my life thinking about new experiences, new adventures, change, change, change in an obvious way: travel.  Hell, it's why I came to Bryn Mawr.  Only to realize in this class I was seeing adventure in one way through a really narrow scope.  Those ideas are something I can imagine taking with me throughout my experience at college and beyond that too.  Also, the idea of change being the most powerful force, above all.  It's funny how comforting and scary that can be.  

Speaking of change, it's been really interesting watching our esem change.  Hardly any one talked in the beginning and now most of us do.  Maybe not everyone all the time, but we talk and we feel like we know each other because it was (here we go) our stories that we told.  And in our ideas, beliefs and feelings were our stories.  Because they're so attached to what we do.  Now, this is in a way, a story.  We're all linked to each other in some sort of special way: we took this class together.  Sometimes, I think, you are graced with a great class.  The material was great obviously, the professor was awesome, but the people really stood out for me.  We fit well and the class came together in a really unique way in which we all participated and all got to know each other beyond our general classroom personas.   

I know a lot of people who hated their esem, but I loved ours.  It wasn't like I was going to school.  It was like sitting around with friends and just talking about things, but really cool, interesting things.  It's only been three months but I know I've changed a lot.  I'm not sure if I can attribute this at all to Esem or being at college or whatever it is, but it's been a good change.  And I really like that.  

Thanks for everything.  It's been a good time.  

When I read the first chapter of the Truth about Stories this time around, it struck me how very relevant the book has remained to our class conversation as well as the conversation that has transpired in my head throughout the semester.

King suggests that we are chained to the stories we tell. We must be responsible storytellers for once a story is released into the world, it cannot be taken back. However, King also emphasizes that we can manipulate stories.  This series of statements has really affected my thinking throughout the course. I feel that King gives an appropriately cautious and hopeful perspective with which to see the world.

From the beginning of the course when we discussed “facts” and “truths” we have acknowledged the uncertainty of seemingly absolute concepts but we have also acknowledged how useful such concepts can be particularly in science as the provisional basis for the next set of questions. We are also very familiar with the concept of turtles all the way down. I feel that we have spent much of our class discussing what we feel our limitations are (the unconscious vs the conscious –who is the I?, are we in “charge?”, we can never find ultimate truth, etc…) but we have also discussed how to stretch boundaries (neural plasticity, creating a dialogue between the subconscious and the conscious, how can cultural change come about, evolution in all senses of the word). I feel that we really have been living up to the course name of making sense of ourselves in an evolving universe particularly because I feel we have made sense of the fact that “making sense of ourselves” doesn’t mean finding a place where we fit in or defining our responsibilities. Rather, I think that we have begun to understand just how dynamic the world is and that it is often necessary to hold two contradicting thoughts in the head at the same time. I think we have also started to see with greater understanding comes more possibilities and challenges because we are responsible for what we do with our knowledge.

I have so much to say in this post but no good way to write it all out. I am sad that this our last post. I was skeptical at first but I think posting online is very liberating. I also think reading everyone’s post really enhances the development of our conversation. It’s an extra window into our thoughts.

Speaking of, my ways of thinking have been subtly developing throughout the semester, which was made clear when I realize I have had a running theme throughout the class (I am more cohesive than I thought!) when I go back through the postings but that I have been slowly been taking it farther and into different areas. I have a new way of thinking about non-fiction writing. Due to the weekly essays I have gotten to explore new and fascinating topics (even if I still get caught up in the collection of all that information)! I have gotten to know my brain (my best friend, still) even more intimately.  The treasure is though not just getting to see this in myself but in others too. I feel that this is sappy but true.

 I have sincerely enjoyed this course. I will miss posting on the esem wall as well as sitting in the softly-light Dalton basement room, having the door closed and making sense of ourselves! Thank you all for creating such a great environment!

P.S two last links, one to an article reviewing an art.essay book entitled Portraits of the Mind that uses real images of the brain to talk about the evolution of our understanding of our mind/brains and the second to an article talking about the use of animations in molecular biology and more. I think its interesting because the book and animations the result of an effort to make science more accessible to a wider public. The book seeks to engage the reader through the aesthetic pleasure of the images which brought me back to our discussions about Logicomix, our generation's preference for the visual and education. Will visual be the new standard? .

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/30/science/30brain.html?ref=science

www.nytimes.com/2010/11/16/science/16animate.html

 At the beginning, I remember thinking that I could see the beginning and the end, but I didn't have any idea what would be in between.  I got the stories part, and once I understood that people make up stories for a reason, it all started coming together. Actually, every time i learned something new it felt like everything was coming together.  It was the in between that really made the experience what it was. I learned so much and it's one of those things where things I learned in this class I'll keep building on for--maybe not the rest of my life, but at least a really really long time.  It's so hard to even define what I learned, but I assure you, I learned it. It's still in my brain and adding to the information my brain gathers to make stories and make sense of myself...in an evolving universe.

Just a thought. What if the brain is the universe...Making sense of ourselves in an evolving ______. So  much could fill that blank. Ahh, everything is connected! The brain is what's making sense of itself in an evolving brain. The brain makes sense of itself in itself...by making stories, which we may or may not perceive as reality, which help our brain evolve and improve into the most fit to continue on (descent with modification, maybe?).  In order to create these stories, we exchange information with others and create stories together...co-constructively...and form a culture.  Then, the culture itself gives us stories with the brain interprets and influences our individual person, which is made up of these stories and the bipartite brain, the conversations between the two parts of it form our sense of right and wrong, and the stories we need to explain it with...And we've come back to the beginning. It's not turtles all the way down, it's just a bunch of turtles in a ball pit. Think about that one.

"You'll Never Believe What Happened" Is Always a Great Way to Start. This is the first chapter we learned in the first novel The Truth about Stories by Thomas King.  Guess what, we didn’t know what we are supposed to expect at the beginning at the ESEM. At the this point, doing my last posting on the Serendip at the Canaday  at midnight, I really have a better chance to see myself better. For me, I believe I really came a long way to where I am today. Looking at the road I have walked by looking at my essays and postings, I can say with joy and confidence that I love my ESEM and learned a lot.

Every time I walked out the little basement, I feel that I just come from another world.  I enjoyed the discussions. Even though, the topics are just too big for anyone to make any sense in a one hour and half discussion. We have narrowed down our topics greatly without decreasing the depth of the discussion. I remember we had the discussion about the differences between the two sections. I think one features shaped our discussion is that we built our discussion based on each other. The discussion is continuous and developed both horizontally and vertically. Of course, the politeness and “cold atmosphere” are the two things come with our discussion on some sense. I think I really enjoyed this kind of discussion because of my own personality. I got a lot chances to speak out my opinions during our small group. My thinking has developed more maturely especially at the way of develop my argument more thoroughly and narrow down my evidence to a discreet perspective. I think these two important parts of thinking will benefit me all the way to end of college.

We have understood more about the origins about the universe and biological evolution. The sense of belonging did get lost during way of searching of answer. At the end, we understand it’s just another way of telling story. The ultimate truth may not be found out yet but I am happy with the stage we have reached so far. The cultural evolutions and individual evolution help me understand more about my role and interactions with larger environment. The reasons of the development in the society and the personal progress can be a serious of the turtle all the way down which is the wonderful methodology I have learned in this fascinating ESEM. I have to admit that I did get disappointed at the last part when we are talking about the consciousness and unconsciousness. Even though I haven’t figure the mechanism behind the scenery, the theory about the mysteries brains help me understand myself in a scientific way. I can start understand the behind scene reasons of my psychological and physical behaviors. The wonderful article “The rational dog with the emotional tail” by Jonanth Haidt give me the system of the explanations of my emotional decisions and way of thinking.

I can’t believe it’s coming to a end this week and it’s hard for me to say goodbye. I like the ESEM for its design of helping student really develop a better system of thinking. I wish in my lifetime, I will be able to take another class for me to really explore more about the environment around and myself. The continuous inspirations keep me motivated in this whole process.  Despite the complain I heard from my friends about their ESEM, I am so grateful I take the chance to have this wonderful journey wondering the sense of myself in this complicated evolving universe.

So yes I know the title is really cliche but deal with it :)

It's hard to believe that our first semester as Freshmen in college is almost over. Kinda of scary actually. While I am looking forward to not writing three page papers every week I am going to miss ESem. Mainly all of you girls.

I remember the first week of school, talking to people, and everyone asking, "What ESem are you in?". And for that first week I remember replying "Uhh something about the universe and me in a really long title". 

Then in the second week when people asked I finally remembered the name and would say, "Making Sense of Ourselves in an Evolving Universe". And then from the questioner...silence. When they opened their mouth in response it was always the same thing, "Wow. That sounds awful"....... Thanks for the vote of confidence all you Debbie Downers.

ESem was interesting in that I felt like I was very resistant to the idea of viewing everything as a story and in changing my writing style. Topics were so broad that I always felt lost and instead of making sense of myself, I was getting more confused. Weeks went by and class discussions became easier, everyone began opening up, and now I started seeing clairty in some topics (not to say that it happened often. Every topic confused me at some point). My writing I feel progressed (with lots of unwanted but necessary pushing by Anna...thanks), and I now feel that my voice can be heard in an essay.

In class we have taken one word and applied it to many aspects of our lives. While at time confused, frustrated, and stressed we always survived. I was really skeptic about ESem at first, but now that I have taken it I feel like it has helped me to become a better student, and not just any student but a Bryn Mawr student.  

I’m going to miss this course. Jeesh, what a change! I remember my first week of ESEM, and the terror that arose when I learned that I would write a weekly 3-page paper about NOTHING. I recall quite vividly complaining to my friends about the lack of prompts, and I remember their responses equally well. “Wow, Aimee! I’m glad I’m not in your ESEM.” My ESEM. That’s what it feels like now. I have ownership of a part of it – a timeshare of sorts. And every time I write a post, answer a question, or write an essay, I am engaging what I’ve learned while contributing to the knowledge of others. It’s a powerful feeling.

Thomas King wrote, “The truth about stories is that that’s all we are.” 

I am beginning to understand the truth in his words. My mind and those of my peers are brimming with ideas and beliefs. Those ideas and beliefs came, in part, from our predecessors. I remember my mother’s words in my ear: “Aimee, procrastination is bad!” (I never listened). I remember the words of my Sunday school teachers: ”See! And God said, ‘Let there be light.’ Just like the Big Bang.” I remember Anne’s words: “Risky, hard, important, and required: that you contribute to 
ongoing conversation/learning of us all.” 

The truth about stories is that it’s all I am. I am bits and pieces - genetically, religiously, culturally – of my forbearers. Through my mitochondrial DNA, I tell the story of my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and so forth. Through my beliefs and opinions, I tell a story of life events that have shaped me. Through my neurons and glial cells, my brain tells a story of self. I’m an Aimee, a cohesive, unified ice cream cone. Right?

I’m not so sure. I’ve been entertaining the “society of mind” hypothesis instead of doing my homework. You understand that I struggle with the unknown. You realize that I’m a nut-nut who doesn’t like the bipartite brain, even as I grow to accept its importance. Even if I don’t want to be bipartite, or divided into a trillion cells, I must accept that I am a bunch of pieces. I still think I’m cohesive and unified, but a society can be cohesive and unified too. Look at North Korea. So, what am I? What predominates? The parts or the person? Oy, this is confusing. This ESEM might be the cause of my mental breakdown.   

I am a story. How odd. Everything is a story. It’s turtles all the way down. How should I remember that statement? With fondness and smiles? Or with confusion and worry? I’m going to try for the smiles.

Let’s face it: life’s a story. The good new is: I (we?) can contribute to it. This weekend, I spent time researching my final ESEM paper. The topic: Why a brain with dementia constructs stories.

 And I realized that I was fascinated by what I was learning. I sat there enthralled, wondering how I could contribute to our knowledge of dementia and the raw humanity of aging. I could see myself as a geriatrician, or a medical anthropologist studying senescence, or a biologist researching Lewy body dementia. The possibilities were really reassuring; I have so many ways to tell a story of my own.  

It is almost the end of the semester. We have explored the origin of the universe based on both various nonscientific creation myths in different cultural backgrounds and scientific theories in different periods. We have interpreted the natural evolution and cultural evolution. We have read individual biography and discussed bipartite brain’s stories. During all the process, we could always find new questions after we ended one. We found everything around us is full of mysteries when we consciously try to totally understand its evolving process. Just like we can only see the peak of an ice burg, the inside part is more amazing and intriguing. Don’t feel overwhelming. Turtles all the way down.

Everybody will smile from face and from heart when she hears “Turtles all the way down.” This is another thing we gain from exploring the evolving universe. When we try to figure out how universe, natural evolution and certain culture evolve, we gradually found our own culture, in which others feel hard to take part in. We share common experience and even “defense” this.

Even though the class is going to end, evolvement will never stop and our culture will never vanish. It is an endless journey of cognition and self-identity.

Just like the Native American creation story, the more questions I ask the questions I have. This class has made me ask questions about the most basic concepts that under any other circumstance I would have never questioned, which I take as a sign of a class well done.

How was the world created? Why do I believe what I do? What is intelligence? Can one person influence an entire culture? Was our present culture inevitable? Where did these beliefs come from? Who is making the decisions in my brain? Who is I?

Turtle, turtle, turtle…

I have to say, it's hard to believe this class is over. We've discussed so many concepts from so many different perspectives that I think it's safe to say we all came away with something valuable. I can't speak for everyone, but I personally feel that I have gained a lot from our discussions. I've become better at understanding different view points and I have now experienced firsthand just how diverse people's opinions and perspectives can be.

We've determined, essentially, that all we are is stories. We are products of our cultures, of our genetics, of our experiences, and of our neural activity. Evolution occurs at the cultural level, at the individual level, and at the biological level. Our minds have been warped by discussions of reality and social issues, and concepts that we may never have thought about or questioned before.

We have been forced to step outside our comfort zones and embrace the idea of exploration. We have appreciated and cursed the world for all its complexities and mysteries, and we will likely leave this course with more questions than answers. But we have also been given a solid foundation upon which to ask those questions. Because what's really important is asking the hardest questions, and having the courage to do so.  And I think after this course, we will.

 In Thomas King's The Truth About Stories, he states that "the truth about stories is that that's all we are" (first seen on page 2). The studies of the brain that we have been exploring indicate that King is right: everything that we perceive or think is a construction of our brain and there is nothing that we can know other than our own perceptions or thoughts. Yet, we can collaborate the stories we tell ourselves (our realities) and agree upon what seem to be similarities in both our perceptions and our reasonings. For example, we can agree on various scientific methods to determine how the universe was created, or how biological evolution took place. We can agree upon noticing commonalities and differences within and between cultures. We can observe an individual, or read their life story, to see the changes they underwent. And we can agree about methods and reasonings of neurological and psychological studies that indicate that each of our realities is a construction of our own minds. Or not: we can choose to disagree. We can choose to, or not to place qualitative values on particular notions of reality, or particular stories. But viewing everything as a story has the benefit of allowing us to try and open our minds and understandings to change.