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Sarah Ann's picture

Already?

I feel like reading these posts in class on Tuesday is going to result in one of those moments I hate. One of those moments where I, the "token bawler," as my friends and I have come to call me, will probably start crying (even though I don't want to), and nobody else in the room will. I've been like that for as long as I can remember, and it makes for awkward, sniffly situations a lot of the time (subconscious brain, anyone?). I don't deal well with endings as it is, and here already are a bunch of posts talking about saying goodbye. I don't want to say goodbye. Goodbye means change. Change is something I've always shyed away from. Well, it always was.

That's where my main evolution through this class has been. Acceptance of change.

Evolution, in any sense of the word, is change. For someone like me, who feared change, this probably seems like an awfully odd ESem choice. But as the semester progressed, I realized more and more that it was definitely the right one. Obviously, coming to college was a huge change, one that I had a lot of trouble with at first. Being in this class, with our comfortable group dynamic and discussions, made me realize that change isn't something to be feared. Change is inevitable, and even though it's unknown territory, so is everything else in the universe to our comparatively tiny human brains (even though there is no "everything," and our brains are actually storytellers that can contain the sky... oh, the places we've been this semester, ladies!). I can't know what's going to happen. I can't have all the answers, or even all the questions. Although it's still a little uncomfortable for me, knowing that sometimes I just can't know for sure was a revelation that helped me adjust to being here. Change is a part of life that needs to be embraced just like any other.

I knew it. See? I'm actually choking up while typing. Dear ESem classmates, when we discuss this stuff on Tuesday, yes, I will probably cry, no, it probably won't seem to make sense, and yes, I am okay. It's been an emotional journey. Thank you all :]

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