This Is Your Brain on Porn: Pornography Addiction, Society, and the Brain

hello, im 18 and have been addicted 2 porn for almost 5 years. I would like to make it perfectly clear to anybody intrested in pornography, thinking about it, curious, already doing it, that its not just some passing phase we all come across as we live life. Its not a fun little side job we do just to ease stress. Its not. And please, please, please, nobody think other wise. Pornography is evil. It destroys lives, loves, will, happiness. It robs it user of the true beauty of life we were all destined to live. Women become no longer the beautiful, caring, mothering, creatures they all truly are. Only sex. Only toys. To every women ever hurt by the poisen of pornography, I'm so sorry. When i first started, it seemed like a fun, new exciting adventure. ...lol I was so young but during each session and climax. I had experienced such unexplainable euphoria that i just couldent let it go. I was very lucky though. My habit was pretty calm and i would only do it a couple times a month if even that. "watch out for this"!!! when porn seems like something you need to know more about, turn off your fucking computer and do something else. Eventually the guilt started creeping into the cracks of my mind but for some reason i just ignored it. But as the months went by along with typical high school bs, my habit grew larger. I sought pornography to experience what i dident even realize was being taking away from me. After losing all faith and respect for myself, and dealing with terrible depression, im at a point were any normal sexual intrests i once had are becoming morphed into sick, twisted, ideas i wish would just go away. I do it about once a day but sometimes 2 or 3. Its the same thing every time. Excitement, fantasy, euphoria, immediate shame. I feel lik i belong in a prison. Im scared. A few weeks ago i tried to make contact with one of my old friends who i hadent seem in a really long time, just to catch up. We met up and talked for hours, it was fantastic, but than i realized how hot she looked. Before i knew what had happend, my old friend who i just wanted to talk to was now another hook up. I felt absolutly terrible. Since that night, she has not returned any of my calls or txts. I know what i did hurt her and it destroys me how much i destoryed such a great potential for another friend. I know thats why she doesnt talk to me. i almost cry just thinking about it ...but my point of this pathetic rant, is for anyone just getting into this whole thing, even if you think your better than it, even if you think you can control it, for the respect and empathy of the lives ruined by this monster, please dont do it.

Well i think the root of the problem here is the marriage setup. Once puberty is reached this boundary of having sex with just the one you married should be done away with. I believe sex is just sex and only rarely does it become platonic etc. So just as we like to have different food once in a while so should also happen to sex. And let men and women have occaisional safe sex outside of their married relationship and let this be not looked down upon. Even orgies and group sex may be desirable to some and I think its perfectly normal to have individuals experience it however with a safety and non-exploitation rider.

Secondly to allow this experience to carry them over the attraction of sexuality we must teach them methods like various prayer/meditation techniques which will give them a comparison that there is much larger pleasure which is both peaceful and non energy draining outside of sex and then gradually the pull of sex will diminish and the desire of higher virtues will rise.

However for this to function we must stop the constant artificialization and flavoring of sex as seen in media. Since this then adds fire to the already creative human mind and then the sexual desire become endless as no real women/men one encounters will be able to satify what is shown in media.
It is like creating artificial demand and supplying non-real goods to quench that demand so ppl are always thirsty and unhappy.

I believe as a society it is still better to allow an individual to go out and have safe sex with a real person then to have him/her virtualize that and keep it forever in the head. As he/she is already doing it virtually better do it in real and rest to peace those fantasies and then return back to your beloved as a peaceful settled person. There are chances that the desires may not end early but since they are doing it in real atleast it will not become a constant thing in the head and the real experience is bound to create some sort of understanding of the sexual mechanism in the human brain so as to automatically drop it some day.
There is more probability in this arrangement of making sexual addicts saner and saving families.

While porn addiction is very real and as concerning as any other addiction, porn is nothing new, and, I'll probably be in the minority here, but I believe it serves a function in society. When I went abroad I noticed a difference between American culture and European culture (in many places but not all) concerning porn. In Italy for example breasts were a regular sight on billboards, posters, and on t.v, as were old people on nude beaches (the image of their leathery skin is still burned into my mind...ugh), anyway, Americans seem to think of sex as a dirty little secret everyone engages in but no one wants to acknowledge or talk about, very strange if you ask me.

Porn has been around since the dawn of time. If you travel to Egypt you might find hieroglyphs depicting all the sex acts found today on the internet, similarly if you travel to Greece you will find, in addition to artistic nudes, similar images. In Rome it was common for the man of the house to commission paintings depicting themselves with fantastically huge members engaging in all sorts of sex acts, or just posing as sort of a way to show off.

I believe the problem is not the porn itself, but the guilt people relate to it. Humans have intense sexual desires due to our hormones, it is natural to want to engage in sex, and because of our huge brains relative to other species we get creative. When someone starts watching porn, even if they don't believe in it, their bodies make it a pleasurable experience. I think it is important to recognize that we are sexual creatures, that sex is healthy and normal. For instance, not only is masturbation good for stress relief, it is also healthy for the heart and reduces the risk of various sexually related diseases, such as prostate cancer. Because not everyone has a partner and not everyone with a partner can have as much sex as desired, porn becomes a way to relieve sexual stress. I think, for one, addiction to porn would be less prevalent if people actually talked to their partners about it, and if their partners would be adults and realize the problem is that the sexual desires that are not being met for whatever reason. If you catch your partner being more interested in porn than you, you should discuss it with them, ask what's wrong, maybe ask them about their fantasies, be their sexual partner not their sexual inhibitor, otherwise their sexual desires will continue to grow into the realm of depravity. The reason porn exists is because, with our creativity, not every sexual desire can be met, especially since it is typical for men to have a higher "need" for sex than their partner, and thus they turn to porn to meet those needs. Even if I agree that porn serves a purpose in society, to relieve sexual tension before it turns into a problem, it can become a problem in a relationship if its not acknowledged. Sometimes it's even good for couples to watch porn together to spice things up a bit.

Also, the notion that simply watching or knowing that someone in the family that watches porn will damage a child forever is sort of ludicrous, there is no scientific basis, children have little sexual desire so they won't go "porn crazy", and usually they have no idea what porn is or what is going on in porn (unless of course a child is forced to or continually subjected to it, in which case the parents are sick and should be locked up). Like I said, in Italy porn was pretty much everywhere, and it didn't seem to me to be an entire nation of sexual lunatics.

Like all things pleasurable, you can be addicted to porn just as you can be addicted to chocolate cake and world of war craft, however, as long as the adult can distinguish reality from fantasy and has some self control, porn is not a problem, and for responsible adults it can be a good thing, as long as it doesn't get in the way of relationships or personal responsibility (such as taking care of a family or retaining a job).

Now, many people have the concern that it is demeaning to woman etc. For one, the actresses in porn can make more money in one week than most of us make in a year, for two, these woman went into the business because they enjoy sex and don't feel guilt about it, not to mention they don't have the prudish American mentality about sex, and those that take those contracts fantasize about that sort of thing, for three, trust me there is just as much porn depicting men being demeaned, by woman no less, not to mention there is plenty of porn depicting "normal" sexual activity between loving couples who find it arousing to be watched by millions of people (which is why some people enter the biz, its a fantasy for them to be sexualized by millions).

As long as people have sexual desire, porn will never go away, its better to accept that its here to stay and talk to you partner about it, and about how to make them focus more on you than on porn, than to kick them out of the house when you discover they watch porn or watch it regularly, because, honestly, I can guarantee you that a huge majority of men at least, and plenty of woman, watch porn, its because of society that you have to "discover" it, because they feel guilt where there should be none, and because they keep it a secret is why they delve into the darker corners of the industry.

I applaud the comments here, and am thankful to God that I am not alone in my struggle either. Society is truly crazy and pornography is one of the reasons for that. I know how sick and twisted this world has become because mostly I look in vain for anything approaching a condemnation of pornography. People only glorify this sick industry and say that it is normal. Everyone has accepted it. But it is not a normal part of life. It is destructive and is destroying numerous lives, as many of the posts here and around the world show. The devastation wrought on children and all of our families is beyond understanding to those who apologize for the porn industry. They only look to justify their own evil impulses but in the process set up a dangerous standard of normality that ends up hurting us all. The real devastation wrought by pornography is only known by those numerous families who are destroyed by it, along with all the churches, workplaces which are damaged by it. Society is quickly being severely compromised by this poison known as pornography, whether the majority choose to acknowledge this fact or not. Porn has destroyed my mind and my happiness in ways that is so subtle and yet so profound. Every facet of my mind and every part of life that I formerly saw as beautiful is now twisted into a hideous and ugly shape. People here speak of watching it every day for 12 years, but I have watched it 15-20 times a year and it has been just as devastating. Once or twice a month I have watched porn on a monthly basis for a very long time. I seem to kick it for several weeks, and then inevitably I fall back into the cycle and the cycle of misery continues. My distorted mind fails to appreciate women for everything they are, as people, as human beings, with hearts, minds, dreams, and aspirations, and not as objects to be used for one's own pleasure. We are only human beings, including those girls who are foolish enough to engage in this heartless, evil industry, who only do so to cover up pains of childhood (the majority of the time). Others are worthless and don't even deserve comment. Despite the pain they are going through, they are setting up a snare for men all over the world and will end up paying for this one day. I sympathize with their struggles and I can identify, but it is no excuse to put your filth on camera for the whole world to see so that marriages can be destroyed and men weak in will can be tempted. They will pay one day for this. You cannot lead another person into sin without facing consequences for this.

I am so sorrowful because all these years I thought I was getting away with my sexual addiction but I wasn't. I was eventually caught by none other than my grandmother. Talk about embarrassing. God showed me that we can never truly get away with something like this. That which is done in secret will be proclaimed on the housetops in due time. We cannot escape the consequences of our actions. Neither those of us who watch this filth, even against our will, nor those who make, act, and promote these videos. They will all suffer for their deeds, as those of us have who have made ourselves a part of their lives through our viewing of these videos. I'm not talking about suffering in a future life, though I believe in that as well. I'm talking about suffering in this world, here on earth. The world is a less happy place because of the global proliferation of pornography. Porn apologists may deny this, but it is nonetheless true. I can sense it. I can sense the destruction caused by this industry through the testimonies of people all over the world and the statistics about how destructive pornography really is to families. Those of us who watch this crap are only perpetuating the cycle of miseries. We are harming our families and if we have children (thank God I don't) we are only setting the stage for them to engage in destructive activities when they get older, to cover the pain from what we are causing them. The porn industry largely exists because of the thousands of girls who looking for an outlet for their emotional pain. I cringe to read about the daughters on this board who have been subjected to emotional neglect from their fathers because of the latter's pornography addiction. It makes me terrified to speculate over what the potential consequences will be for those young girls as they move on through life and what outlets they may look for as therapy for their pain.

I could go on forever and ever, but just know that I am with all of you who have suffered on account of pornography, and I have made others suffer as a result of my usage. For those of you who use pornography still or harbor the desire to use it, just know that your actions cannot be made secret for that long. You will be exposed in the long run. I have learned this lesson the hard way. The world will be a slightly less happy place every time you fall into the addictive cycle. Your family and your sphere of influence will be affected by your choices. Please think of others before you make your choice. God knows this isn't easy. I am wandering into the future with no real way to know how I am going to kick this. But I have to. I can't tolerate this filth in my life any longer.

Please feel free to email me if you have any questions or just want to talk. We are all in this together.

its been really interesting to read all the comments about addiction to porn here,my husband of 10 years is an addict and i am finally leaving him,
from a womens perspective its as bad as an affair or worse,my husband ,lies,has cybersex,slept with prostitutes,hides m,emory stick,mags u name it.
i know its an addiction but he refuses to see it as such and when i leave he will go back to prostitutes,admitted he loves the porn more than us its devastating,10 years of hell and all i get is basically oh well at least i have whores to go to.........
men who are addicted to porn are seriously messed up and selfish men who dont deserve decent families

I think that porn is Evil.
I like it for a while, then After I shake "it".. then I hate it instantly..
bad thing.. very bad...
:(

ALL MEN WATCH PORN. (At least 99% of them do.) Sadly, this is the truth. It's sad not just for the women, but for the man who feels he's not getting enough in the bedroom...

We're living in the age of the PORN GENERATION where the youth of American has easy access to free adult videos, pictures and erotica and we are just beginning to see the effects of it. Young men grow up thinking that "this is how it is" and want to live out the fantasies that they are exposed to at an early age. It is my belief that this is not a passing trend or something that can be defeated.

As a male myself, I can tell you that NOTHING will ever suppress those fantasies except for actually doing them. I used to watch HOURS of threesome porn (most common male fantasy) everyday for about 4 years and it destroyed 3 relationships. I never had the guts to tell them, but my current girlfriend (who is bi) found out and brought home a stripper twice. Not only do I NO LONGER WATCH PORN, but I am over threesomes.

My husband has been addicted to porn since we were first going out. I always wondered why I could not get him to be emotionally close to me. Also, our sex life and social life sucks! He never wants to have intercourse, only the same old thing. He is not creative in bed and I thought the reason was he needed viagra. I didn't realize that the porn thing that he has been hiding all throughout our marriage is the real reason we have not been close.
He is also not close to my girls at all. I want to leave him, but at times I see glimmers of hope. My girls are very unhappy with their relationships with their father. They are not close to him at all, he just doesn't put the effort into their relationships. I am trying to financially get my act together. It is very hard since I have spending a lot of time trying to bring our family together emotionally all these years.
I finally, this week, thanks to my older daughter, who is sick of being emotionally ignored, on top of catching her father looking at porn on the internet her and there, decided my husband's porn addiction has been the problem all along. God give me strength to leave him! I am so sick of being the only alive person in this relationship. The main reason is that I see the pain that my teenage daughters are going through, having a father that ignores them.

I have been addicted to porn for a while, but I recently quit several months ago and my life has improved. The thing is when I first started looking at porn I was 14, but up until recently when I finally quit several months and have had a few relapses. I only did it when I got the chance, which was like once a week at most so it didn't affect me that much.

When I found a website that made it easy to watch it, I got addicted for about a year. In that year my life pretty much went downhill. I had a job, was at school and had a decent amount of money before my addiction. Afterwards, I was unemployed, not at school and completely broke.

Thanks to porn I have lost many chances to have relationships with women whether physical or emotional because I would feel no attraction to them and thus would not pursue the ones that were attracted to me.

Another thing porn did was that it would reduce my self control to practically zero. I would find it very difficult to concentrate on work that I had to do and would be very impulsive and only do things that were fun and easy, this would cause failing grades in school.

Now that I quit porn, I feel that my self control has come back and that I am now attracted to women again and feel interested in talking to them. It was one of the worst mistakes of my life, but I am glad that I found out about now and not several years from now when it would of really caused a problem.