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This Is Your Brain on Porn: Pornography Addiction, Society, and the Brain
Many of my drug using, sex crazed friends have said at least once that having an orgasm and doing a line of cocaine create the same feelings within the brain. I am able to understand why there is a chemical change when participating in a sexual act, but I cannot comprehend how people can be addicted to pornography, which has virtually no interaction with the viewer. Sexual acts that one partakes in, like all activities that one partakes in, changes the chemical reactions and firing rates in the brain; so why is it that viewing pornography, which is a mainly optical activity, can change the brain, and even more than that, create an addiction? Simply put, pornography addiction is the “abuse and overuse” (1) of various types of pornography; however, on a deeper level it is a very complicated subject. It raises both medical and social questions, and it is uncertain if the answers to these questions will ever be agreed upon. It is one of the few addictions that are just considered to be a psychological addiction; possibly because of that, most doctors do not consider it an actual addiction, but instead as a sub-condition of obsessive compulsive disorder (1).
While it is not considered a legitimate disease by many, pornography addiction does have similar symptoms: those affected are not able to control how often they engage in the behavior, engage in it to rid themselves of stress, work up a tolerance to it, and engage in the behavior instead of having social and personal interactions (1). These symptoms, especially the ultimate, have been exacerbated by the drastic increase of internet porn, which makes the medium readily available in the privacy of one’s own home. The extra convenience has occurred hand in hand with increasing opposition, stating that pornography in the home has effects on not only the person viewing it, but also those who stumble upon it, such as children. Many see it as a perversion of the home, and not as a real disease.
Another aspect of the addiction that makes it scientifically legitimate is the changes that occur in the brain when one engages in activities involving pornography. When an addict looks at porn, testosterone, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin are released, creating what Dr. Judith Reisman refers to as an “erototoxin” (2). The chemical change, which causes the person engaging in the act to have a temporary feeling of euphoria, becomes a necessity for the person to function. Like any other type of addict, porn addicts become trapped within their disorder, and the difference between casually watching pornography and being an addict hinges on the chemical makeup of the brain.
Pornography addiction is still very controversial, because the issue of its existence is still being constantly disputed. Scientists and moralists are entangled in a possibly endless argument, both publicly and privately, over the legitimacy of the addiction, as well as the differences between pornography addiction and other addictions, such as drug or alcohol addictions. While Dr. Judith Reisman agrees that viewing pornography causes a chemical change within the brain, she also believes that these changes will create a physical deterioration along with the psychological effects; however, as a critic of Reisman pointed out, “One unmentioned implication [of Reisman’s article] is the fact that, if sexual arousal from pornography causes 'brain damage', then so will real-life sex” (2). Since there is a reasonable possibility that having sex and viewing porn cause the same sort of stimulation in the brain, it would make sense that every time one engages in sex, one loses part of one’s mental faculties. Currently, there is no data to prove that this is true, and it appears as if there is no affirmative data about viewing pornography as well. Another issue of an addiction to porn is that while, with most drugs, it is possible to work all of the chemical out of the body after a certain amount of time, a pornographic image will stay in the memory as long as the memory exists. In a far more extreme interview, Dr. Judith Reisman stated, “[Pornography] could be more addictive than crack cocaine because cocaine can be excreted from the body. Pornographic images cannot. They remain, structurally and neurochemically, with a person forever” (3). She, as well as many others who believe that pornography addiction has more detrimental effects than other types of addiction, take the issue of addiction out of the scientific, and drag it into the sociopolitical. n
Personally, the research for this paper has raised more questions than it has answered. I am still unsure as to why it is considered a disease that branches out from obsessive compulsive disorder, as opposed to being on its own as a disorder. All addictions are obsessive, but not all are part of another disorder. It seems to me as if the squalor surrounding pornography addiction, not its scientific merit, has prevented it from becoming its own legitimate psychological disease. This has caused me to question how addictions are understood and proceeded with in both scientific and social realms, and also to understand that the variables of what determines a disease are not necessarily solely based on science or facts; much more plays into a disease than I had ever contemplated, especially ones that relate to something as that is discussed so much socially, morally, and politically, such as pornography.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction
- http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2005/07/attack_of_the_porno.html
- http://www.ewtn.com/library/ISSUES/REALKINS.HTM
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Comments
Hi Serendip Visitor
Where you from, I'm a Christian too and this is sought of embarrassing have you stopped watching porn altogether? And how can I stop, your testimony seemed interesting?
help me please pray for me and heres my story
Hey I'm 13 years old and I'm addicted to porn so much. I'm 13 years old and i want to live my life like as i was a little girl. when i was little i have so much fun with my twin sister. suddenly I've changed. i got addicted to porn and i don't want to be. i wake up everyday and say to myself
And say who am i because i know I'm not the same person when i was a little girl. i want to be a good 13 year old teenager like some other girls. my mom calls me a angel everyday and i always smile. she don't know that I'm addicted to porn. if i tell her she thinks I'm sick in the head and i need some help that's what i think she is going to say. God gave me so many chances and i ruined all of them because i keep failin. after god have me so many changes why should he give another one. i want to ho into heaven when the time comes. when i grow up i want to become famous one day, get married, start a family,and watch my kids grow. bit right now I'm 13 years olds and i want to live normal. not to be addicted to porn. i cry every day so please , please pray for me and tell god to give me strength to rise above Satan and pray for to give me my wishes.one day he will do the same for you.
porn addiction
Jesus can save, but addictions required something extra. Tell your mom, I'm a mom of a boy who is struggling with porn addiction. She won't think your a fallen angel and even if she's hurt and disappointed for a while, she'll get over it and just want to love and help you. Nothing you do in life could make her stop loving you and if she knew you were hurting like them and didn't feel like you could come to her, that would break her heart even more. Also, go see a counselor who specializes in porn addiction. They have strategies and programs that will give you the skills you need to break the addiction.
Remember God is not the spirit of fear, but of love. Satan wants you to be afraid and feel bad, God wants us to face the truth and go forth with power. Once you bring your mom into it and get help, you can stop feeling fear and start being the person you were meant to be. You can have fun and feel good again. Porn doesn't have to take over your life, but you're probably going to need some help.
I will pray for you every
I will pray for you every day, in the name of Jesus Christ I promise to do my best to bow low on your behalf, that your youth and purity would be restored. If you have not accepted Christ as your salvation, then you must. You have to in order to receive the Holy Sprit and allow him to work in your heart and mind. He can free you. Your addiction will be broken, Christ can do all things. If you have Christ then you can never get rid of him. Don't ever believe anything else. Your salvation is sealed in a blood covenant written that you might know the one true God.
Take a second to think about this:
The poster above me is only a child, yet battles pornography just as we do. Take a look at how it is written. It is set to explode with sadness and wanting to get off porn.
A wise saying goes like this: When children recognize that something is bad for the soul, IT USUALLY IS.
Pornography poisons the mind. The young person above me obviously feels it, recognizes how bad it is, and understands the harm they are doing to themselves and are desperately wanting to get away from it. Sometimes, as adults, we lose sight of these things and brush them off, thinking they don't matter when they really do.
At the same time, I feel it is worth mentioning that it isn't healthy to go TOO hard on one's self about it, especially at the beginning stages of getting off porn. Getting off it will take time, but you must build a strong will before trying to get off, otherwise it will come back to get you later.
You can overcome it.
You are a child of God. Know that Satan does not control your life. Ask GOd to change the desires of your heart..so that you would desires the things that He does and not porn. You are still so young..go live your dream and don't let porn stop. By the power of the Holy Spirit, I pray that God will give you strength to overcome this obstacle. Seek His Kingdom girl..You can do it!!!
where do u watch it ? do u use the internet ?
if Ur strugerling... move on stop thinking about it,block all website that shows videos and pictures (or even movies) dont hesitate just move on start a new life
Hey, if you are only 13 and
Hey, if you are only 13 and starting down the porn path, you need to tell your mother. Your parents love you and want the very best. This is not going to get better if you do not confide in your mother. If my daughter struggled with this, I would want to know. I would not be judgmental, I would only want to help. You need help,and you must not hold this in. And for God's sake, do not share your struggle with any boys. Keep this between you and your mother, only. Tell her that you have a real problem and you want her help. Then tell her. She will love you for it.
Hey, I just wanted you to
Hey, I just wanted you to know that God does not give up on you. My story started right around your age and now I'm 25 ( you can read my story a few posts down). He never gave up on me, although I asked him for another chance maybe 500 times. I asked myself that same question so many times....how could God give me so many chances.... isn't he fed up with me? How could he possibly give me another chance? God is graceful and always ready to help you when you are ready. Think of it this way... you are one of God's children. A fathers love is unchanging and steadfast. No matter what you do... you can leave for years and come back, and he will welcome you with open arms. I'm urging you to find it in you to put this behind you now, or else you'll have years of heartache ahead of you. Its not worth it. Ill be praying for you!
Tim
Loss of touch
I think porn takes away from us not only getting to know our partner physically, but mentally and spiritually. You miss out on lot and people seem to look over the fact that it can be something that ruins one's life. This is only the case because we are so programed to think it's normal in our society. I'm not some religious freak, just thinking about this morally. I am ninteen and refuse to grow into thinking this is morally correct in any way or normal. I choose love over sex any day, but this is the world we live in, right? Californiacation- song by redhotchilipeppers =)
Help yourself
I'd encourage anyone who is truly motivated to quit looking at pornography to read a book on the subject. There's a book by Skinner, 'Treating Pornography Addiction,' that I found to be particularly helpful in my own struggle. It presents a lot of good questions to try to help the reader understand why they look at pornography and to identify what triggers the need to look at pornography. I, personally, believe that true addicts will not get over their addiction without a solid understanding of addiciton. Willpower alone is not enough. You have to get to the point where you're educated enough about addiction and about your triggers, motivation, etc. that you can use each time you slip up as an opportunity to learn and become stronger. If you don't feel like you're learning from your mistakes, it may be time for a different approach.
God helps those who help themselves.
Porn is bad. Period!
I am a single mother aged 40 who has been fighting with addiction to porn. I started when my ex boyfriend started to insist that we watch it before we have sex. This was almost 15 years ago. I left him because he was cheating on me left and right. I also got born again after that, but the terrible habit had stuck and HARD! I hate myself so much when I surf and I start hitting those sites. I sometimes feel that I am a freak. Most of the people around me are innocent of porn. Most of them are very uncomfortable when something sexual pops up. But ME! Oh God help me. I get so excited and I have to seek relief by surfing. I do stop for some time and and I feel so proud of myself. Something then happens and I get hooked again. I want to be free. Today-right now. Pray for me guys. I think its worse for women who are addicted. The stigma is very bad. I just can't talk about it to anybody. I just agonize inside - a walking zombie really.
I wish all my fellow humans who know porn is no good and are struggling to get free all the best. Lets pray for each other
Anon woman
Self hate is way worse
You are not a freak. Please be kind on yourself. Have you considered you may be normal when you crave those sexual scenes? Think of the opposite: nothing turns you on, ever. Would that be a sad situation that would take away a lot out of life? My point is, you are normal but struggle with self-control like 90% of people out there. Maybe the lack of self-control is what hurts the most? I'm fighting the same battle you are and what works for me is to understand what is behind my porn drive: anxiety and sex drive. I have a normal sex drive but when I get anxious I need relief and, unfortunately, repeatedly turning to porn made that the number one choice in my subconscious mind. I'm slowly trying to figure out new ways of fighting that anxiety. In time I believe I will prevail. I'm learning to trust and love myself along the way. You say 'God help me' well his word is love and I humbly suggest the best path is first to learn to love yourself as an entity, as a woman who craves and looks at porn. Then it will be easier to weed it out. And beware of 'right now', the road is winding, you will not walk out of a physiological need but you can learn to subjugate it back to your willpower.
Best of luck!
Prayers for Addiction
You have my prayers. I understand what this habit does to a person. It is terrible.
here is my story
I am only telling this story to get it down on paper... so that I, most of all, can benefit by understanding where I'm at.. and so that others can benefit by relating to my story. I am a 25 year old and (not to sound egotistical but only for purposes of understanding that it can happen to anyone) am also blessed with very good looks (sounds cheesy and egocentric but it's true). I am also successful in a lot of different areas of life... good at sports, play the drums for various rock bands, Im graduating from medical school to be a doctor... I have a lot of very attractive attributes for the ladies out there. But... I'm addicted to porn. And that makes me a social retard when I find a girl I want to flirt with.
So I started watching porn when i was 13 or so... would do anything to find a some boobs after my friends told me about porn. I didn't even know what the word meant... it was all new to me. But of course, everyone was doing it apparently and I was the last guy in my class to find out (or so it felt). I even remember asking my friend how to masturbate... so sheltered. My first pair of boobs I saw was on the playboy website, and the addiction grew fast. By the time I was 15 I would sit there for hours waiting for a 5 minute porno was downloading from napster. If I couldn't get my hands on a video I'd wait up late and night just to watch Brooke Burke on Wild on E! or wait for a girls gone wild commercial. I remember being so horny that I'd even masturbate with others in the room under a blanket. In highschool I had all the cute girls telling my sister in an upper class how they thought I was cute but I could never approach them... I just never had it in me like the other guys in my class. Man, I kept thinking it would just happen when it was supposed to happen. Never even kissed a girl until 12th grade... and then I was so unbelievably awkward that I told her I loved her a week later. Never got a call back from her haha... All this time I'm still watching porn every day and being socially reenforced by my peers telling me their favorite website or video or pornstar. So college hit... and so did alcohol. That eased the nerves of approaching the ladies. Had sex every chance I could with girls I met out at parties. Finally, in my 3rd year of college I literaly broke down and cried because every girl I had ever liked in college... every beautiful girl, with an amazing story, with great talents and passions... the only girls Ive ever been truly attracted to... I had failed with. I had made them think I was a creepy guy because I just couldn't act normal in front of them. I had to turn to God to ask him to send me someone... so at a party I met a beautiful, talented, passionate girl... for the record this girl was a russian bombshell that had even the Big Ten football players jealos... and with some pushing from my friends I asked her out. She was amazing at the time... it only lasted for 6 months because I had to leave to go away to school. She didn't stay with me. I blame it on my addiction.... but it has taken a long time for me to understand that. Over the past 4 years I was under the illusion that I got her because I was a pimp and every girl wanted to be with me. But over the past 4 years I've been watching porn more than ever. 3 girls in particular peaked my interest while Ive been at grad school... all of them I had failed with... because porn severely screws up your self esteem, confidence, and social interactions. So its been 4 years of frustration... each year worse than the last. Honestly, I deserve a great woman... I deserve someone to share life with... I deserve a good wife, and kids... But I can't have it unless I get over the first step and even get my foot in the door. I thought stopping sex was a good idea, and it was and is, but now its been 3 years since I made that decision and it hasn't changed a thing for my ability to approach the woman that I want. Listen, I can hang with the best of them when it means approaching women in general... I can schmooze a room full of good looking women.... but when the girl I want walks in, something takes over and I can't be me anymore. So recently, every time I fail... I've been going to porn... .and not just going to porn... I mean I could do an hour in the same session watching over 50 videos. 2-3 times a day.
Anyways.... that's the story and I hope it can relate to someone out there... but the reason I picked tonight to do it is because I know I can quit. I've done it a dozen times... for weeks and months. Most recently it only happened to be 2 weeks. It was so easy. I just left my computer at home while I went to my parents house for break. Didn't even masturbate for a week, and didn't realize it. I just forgot about it. But as soon as I got back to my place I got nosy. Look, I'm sure we all have triggers.... but mine is a hair trigger. If I see a hot girl in a movie I go and look her up on the internet for photos. Then it's just a dominoe effect after that. I "harmlessly" look up pictures... then I harmlessly take off the adult filter on google to find something more revealing... then I see boobs... and eventually in what seems like a blink of an eye I'm exiting out of 3 or 4 porn sites an hour later with a sinking feeling in my gut like "what did I just do". But ill shrug it off and say it was a 1 time thing. Couple hours later I'll say to myself, "I only did it once... twice can't be any worse...then I'll be done." Not true. I'm now on my 4 day in a row of saying that to myself and I'm fed up with myself and my addiction. That's not to say I haven'y been fed up 100 times before... but this time I had to see if anyone else was going through the same thing. Because, this is something so private to me that I can't bring it up to anyone I know.
So I recently went to a seminar with my favorite doctor speaking. He asked us to do a cost/benefit analysis of something that we did not want in our lives. First you begin with your belief... if you have morals, you understand that watching pornography is against your belief system. We do it anyways... So write down where you think you will be a year from now if you choose to continue this immoral activity. Then write down where you think you will be in a year if you choose to stop being incongruent with your belief system. Compare and you can finally confront your addiction on paper, and decide the road you would be better off traveling. My cost list has things like battling depression, social awkwardness, inability to approach women, mood swings, constant disappointment in myself, lowered self esteem... my benefit list after a year includes higher self esteem, increased libido, increased confidence, better social interactions, better relationship with God. Your will undoubtedly look a lot like mine... so it would be ludicrous to pick the "cost" road wouldn't it? It takes self control and dedication to rid ourselves of this addiction... it won't come easy at first... but it has to happen to reap the benefits. We reap what we sow... I hope that this is the turning point for me and whoever reads and appreciates this.
I am also a victim
I really appreciate the boldness that you used in expressing yourself. This is my ordeal in the hand of porngraphy. I am 32years old. I was a Moslem before I converted to a Christian in 1997. After a while i was devoted to Christianity. Until 2007 that i gained admission into university of ilorin, kwara state Nigeria. I got intrigued with the watching of naked white girls and black girls. The section that interest me the most was viewing of black girls because of my egocentric believe that black girls are beautiful. But i forgot so soon that i was digging my graveyard. Sometimes, if my cousin was asleep i moved surreptitiously and finger her breast. At times i eavesdropped whenever she took her bath. One day she caught me and raised abuses at me. I didn't hide my shame when she reported me to her mom rather, i denied and even wanted to slap her for ever making it known. It was later that my conscience started judging me. For sometimes, she refused to speak with me. After a while she let go and we continued our communication. I thought the incidence has taught me a lesson. But reverse was the case when i got back to school. I find it so difficult to associate with friends rather i lived a life of pain and agony after the experience. I was eager to become somebody in life but masturbation and porngraphy redefined me. I could not read nor pray to God like i used to do. I squandered money and precious time on porn. I had series of carried of over courses owing to my stupidity and euphoria. After all said and done i ended up with a 3rd class. I became frustrated that i thought of perpetuating in the act when i knew no one was going to employ a 3rd class holder in my country. Most time i pour out my heart to God, seek after prophets and pastors but it was to no avail. I went on fasting and prayer, i went for alter calls in the church but all was just 2 to 3 days reliever. It got to a time i felt nothing but suicide. Moving around female really nauseate every time i expressed my low self esteem to people. My younger ones are married most time they blame me that i chose a wrong religion... Let me stop here. Despite all. I thank God that i am life. I recently realized that i have been addicted for 9years. Now, i don't want to think about my past anymore. I am praying that God should give me a happy woman that will understand me for God,s grace.
It doesnt get better....
Man...Thats pretty much me there Tim. But I must warn you dude, youve got to stop thinking girls give a crap about how awesome you are. At least girls that matter. I can guarantee that as long as you think youre anything at all, and dont embrace a little humility in your humanity, youre going to fail with finding "that" girl.
Furthermore....I found her, and she's amazing at least! But it didnt stop the porn, and Im telling you it wont.
Weve learned way too well how easy it is to just go to our favorite site and take care of it.
Sex is messy, you gotta turn her on, you gotta get her off, you gotta hold her, you gotta love her.
The pictures give you all the benefits without the work, or so our minds tell us when they are locked in mode, which is what happens when the trigger goes off, and all the "please save me jesus" isnt going to help anything.
Im still dealing, in fact I just got done jerking off 7 times cause my wife left and I had a rediculous load of frustration to deal with.
Before you haters flame me, dont worry I already went through hating myself before I completely and 100% honestly shared my story with my wife.
Yes she cried and was torn apart for weeks, but unlike many religious, shallow minded, unloving and mis-understanding love people that Ive seen act like its the crime of the century, she responded with love.
She told me she wanted to help.
I was shocked. I felt like I wanted to die.
I wanted to die so bad.
But I talked to her. Now let me just say, my wife is BEAUTIFUL. Not just pretty. Shes so hot, I mean if I ever found a site with her posing for porn I would be blown away. But if you get and understand this fucking problem, you know that ONE ISNT EVER ENOUGH!!!!!!!
Im so sick of it.
I dont know what to do, Ive done it all.
Im gonna try that weaning off it thing, neither love/God/Jesus/Relationships/Intimacy/or willpower have helped me.
Good luck to you thinking its going to go away when you get a relationship.
CONVERT TO ISLAM YOU SEE THE
CONVERT TO ISLAM YOU SEE THE RESULTS
a reflection of my own life
thank you for having the courage to share with us your story. your story is a mirror image of myself and almost everything you mentioned is exactly of how my addiction started. I will pray for us all and I will try that cost/benifit analysis and thank you again
Your story is touching. I'm
Your story is touching. I'm also struggling with porn (for over 10 years) and it's became even more salient to me now that I'm in a relationship. Here's the little I can contribute beyond 'good luck!' via such an impersonal mean as internet: I think you may gain a lot by looking at what hides behind your need for porn. I'm doing so and finding stuff like high expectations, sigh *narcissism* (yeah,,), anxiety and generally a gap between my image of self and perception of self (what is my real *self* i have very little clue). Here's the gist: it's blocking a lot of real-life contacts with others and I don't think there is anything better, or more rewarding, than sex or it's simulacrums other than real human contact.
Also we need to share it with those around us we trust,
And I mean this is in the very hard way... Very hard. I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I really find amazing and I haven't shared my porn addiction with her. I keep telling myself I will fight it by myself. I almost manage to do so as well, I keep off it for a week or two at an incredible cost of willpower then, bang, it hits me again and I look at it once again and there it goes again. So I'm thinking of telling my girlfriend straight out, only I find it so very hard and not kind to my ego... nonetheless I ultimately will because for the sake of my love for her, I prefer to be whole with her than fulfill the image I wish to be.,,
Lot's of disparate thoughts but I hope you feel a little less alone. You and I are normal. We're just humans stuck with human pitfalls. Millions of men (and women) are stuck in the same predicament and I think we can all get over it if we find our own inner keys. I hope you do.
Thank you for sharing that
Thank you for sharing that tim. I find that I am the same way in almost everything you mentioned. I'm trying to overcome this addiction as well and I appreciate your input. Best of luck to you bud. I'm gonna need some help too.
Your Story is my History
Hey Tim,
My name is Tim as well. As I was reading your post, I could'nt help but think how your story is so similar to mine. My habit started at the age of 6 1/2. While reading your post, I saw myself in your story and was blown away by the same life style. Only thing is I have never slept with a women. I have had multiple chances to. But I couldnt bring myself to do it, because for some twisted reason I always remembered the words from the Bible saying "when a man and women come together, they become one", I was always struck with fear thinking once i have done the deed I would be one with this women. As such I always ran away from those situations. Now If I could only run away from my addication, that would be a different story. Basically I am here writing to say, that your story inspired me and I wanted to reach out to you. I was wondering if we could get in touch via email and combat this habit of ours. Let me know, I believe in everything you wrote, even about the part about having a better relationship with God. That is my one true desire, yet because of my addication, it has hindered my desire over and over again. Frankly I am getting tired of it and so desparetly want change. I hope that you can see my email and this site will allow people to do so. Heres my email 5timodu5 at Gmail. I sure hope we can get in touch, since you are going through the same exact thing I am. I figured it would be nice to link up with a brother who knows the situation. I hope by writing all this does not creep you out, I need help and I trying to seek it wherever I can. I know that change begins with self and ends with self, but at the same time I believe we get some change through the people who come in our lives. Looking forward to hearing from you. Keep up the Good Fight and God Bless you and all the readers here.
Hey Tim I tried to e-mail you
Hey Tim I tried to e-mail you yesterday. I'm not sure if it got to you. I'd be happy to contact you through e-mail to help you through this. I can say that I've beat this addiction... I know it seems a bit of an assumption that I wont relapse in the future... but i have too much riding on this. I'm much happier now, and I feel like that part of me has died. I know in my heart that ill never go back. My life is much brighter now, and I can finally look people in the eye now without feeling that somehow they know that I have an ugly side to me. I hope the best for you, and I will pray for you!
Completely
I can entirely appeciate this and it's exactly the same thing for myself, minus being blessed with amazing good looks and unparalleled intelligence, heh. But, in all honesty, I can relate completely. Your cost analysis, though, is a very helpful way of looking at it, and provides some good goals I am going to plan to strive for. Thank you very much.
I'm glad you can appreciate
I'm glad you can appreciate my post L.T. Ive only been done now for 2 weeks, and I know that there is a possibility for me to fall back into my old ways... but I gotta tell you, it doesn't feel that way this time. I really think that an addiction that's lasted that long requires an emotional breakthrough. Tell your story man. I think its a way that you can take a step back and look at yourself from the outside and appreciate the entirety of your addiction. Good luck and God bless!
dont fight it, embrace it!
Man, what you describing as your story is completely common with most normal guys. I doubt your social incapability was caused by watching porn - you would have been like that anyway, your awkwardness when approaching girls comes from your personality.
Porn is not bad if you can watching in moderate way - its like with everything - if its something too much, it will harm you. What you have to do is embrace it, not to fight it. Porn is good, it must have been created by God because it makes us feel good. Its like with real sex - if God would not want us to have sex and watch porn, he would have not created neither one.
So don't feel ashamed or other nonsense when masturbating, just embrace and enjoy it - that is the only way to cut down on watching porn - don't restrict yourself, that makes you wanting it even more. If you know you can have it without feeling bad, you will not want it that much. And that is the thing - watch porno moderately. It wont harm you and you will appreciate it more than if you watch it too much (sort of a porn overdose).
Good luck and don't delete your stash - I have done that once and still regret it :)
Dude you are so lost its not
Dude you are so lost its not even funny. What you are saying are so far from the truth. God did not create sin.
And god made heroin and
And god made heroin and crack. What a stupid response.
here is my story
I have just finished praying for you, friend. I sincerely hope that God will free you from this addiction. The cost of this addiction is too much. Your life is much much better without porn. You don't want to be 50 and still have this problem. Ditch it now.
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your prayers... when I saw that I read my post again and when I realized that I had finally been able to tell someone I broke down and cried for the first time in years. It felt so good to know that someone prayed for me... I finally had the emotion that I have long sought... I felt genuinely apologetic and repentant. I knew that God could see it it in me for the first time in a long time... I have the strong feeling that I can be done forever. Every time I had asked him for the strength to stop I left room for slip ups in the future... I could never promise him that I would never go back. Now I feel the strength to put it all in my past.
Thanks for your prayers
We cannot deny who God created us to be. And, I can guarantee you, He wants the best for us. That means intimacy with the opposite sex in marriage, without porn. I wish you the best as you go through life and find the woman you'll spend the rest of your life with.
My goodness, does anyone know
My goodness, does anyone know how to spell and use proper grammar here?
Sorry
Sorry, every rule of grammer and memorised word of the engrish langwage haz ben over ritten with pron.
I Need Help!
Hi, I've got a little story of my own to tell. But I'm seeking an answer to the question I ask. I'm 25 years old and I am a christian that goes to church regularly. I believe in Jesus Christ, He is my Lord and Saviour and nothing will ever change that. Just want to make sure that's known. But I'll work that part in. Before I become a strong believer, my story starts like this. I've been looking at porn consistently since the age of 13. My first exposure was at about 10 or 11ish, don't know for sure, but I misspelled a website name and ended up on a porn site. Very curious, I scrolled through a whole bunch of text just to see if any pics would show up and BAM! there were titties right there. I gasped, scrolled back up, and closed the window, disgusted by what I saw. A year or two later, my freshman year in high school, my friend found a porno tape in his parents closet and decided that it would fun to show it to me. He figured I had already seen some porn, so some hardcore stuff on a video wouldn't hurt. He was wrong, I had never seen that before, and that video shocked me. I just watched, in awe, of what they were doing. From that moment, I thought about what I saw and wanted to see more. I found a website, and then found more websites, developed attachments to certain models, and developed this horrible addiction I have today, despite the numerous times I've been caught, talked to a pastor, talked to my discipler, talked to my own parents, and my friends. And what makes everything even stranger is the fact that I've never had actual sex before. I want to save that for marriage. Some people want to try to tie real sex and porn together, and in my case, it's not part of the equation. So, I decided to become a stronger christian in 2009 for a variety of reasons. I thought that would help curb my addiction. It did for a couple weeks, but I soon went back to it. Like a roller coaster, I had times where it was under control for up to a month, and then to where it was an insatiable urge stealing my attention several times a day. I'm in the latter part right now. It's worse than ever. I feel no desire to try to fight it. Reliance on Jesus is not present. I just go look at porn and masturbate whenever the urge pops up. I'm sick of it, and want it gone, but have no idea what to do about it, or where to go to get help for it. My question is if seeing a psychologist would be useful. Would a psychologist be able to help me find ways to get rid of this? Any help any one can give would be much appreciated. Sorry if a whole bunch of this doesn't make any sense or seem relevant, but it's my story and I wanted to get it out there.
Hey there, Fellow Christian
Hey there,
Fellow Christian here. I've been struggling with porn addiction too for the past couple of years and I'd frankly like to stop. It's made me into someone who's too guilt-ridden and spiritually weak to be a strong source of support for other Christians.
Seriously, I don't have any concrete solutions for you that'll solve your problem overnight. Like you, I've reached a point where I'm sick of it. I really am. That's why what I'm planning to do is to STOP going to porn sites, keeping my door open (I share a place with someone) as much as possible, and best of all, cracking open the Word. You'd be surprised at the way God speaks to you. Spend some time with Christians. I'm in grad school, so I'm super busy, only limited to going to church once a week. Find an accountability group. Find a mentor in whom you can confide.
HTH. I know it's been a month, but hey, this is the only way I can help!!!
I share a similar problem and
I share a similar problem and the only thing that has worked for me is accountability. Find someone who you are slightly intimidated by who you would almost me ashamed to tell you look at porn. Ask them to become your accountability partner and have them ask you once a week or twice a month if you have watched porn or been smart on the internet. Do not lie to them because that will screw everything up. Just be honest and this should greatly help you. It worked for me and life without porn is amazing.
Heavy porn use and masturbation is often caused by anxiety
I think, in the cases of a large percentage of men, you are looking at this backwards. For many heavy porn users/masturbators it is a discomfort with sex in a intimate relationship that causes them to turn to solo sex.
Intimacy anxiety, attachment disorders, depression,low self esteem, performance anxiety, schizoid and other personality disorders, make interpersonal relations in general and sexual relations specifically very stressful and anxiety inducing. In some cases the stress and anxiety is so bad during sex with a partner it causes the man to suffer from erectile and ejaculation difficulties which amplify the anxiety even further.
For these men porn and masturbation is a solution to their problems not the cause.
It is only when these men are masturbating alone that they can fully enjoy their sexuality. The unlimited variety, rich fantasy experience and the absence of the need to perform or to please allows them to relax and enjoy the experience rather than dreading it as they do when they attempt to have sex with a partner.
Most studies of men who use porn and masturbate heavily and in preference to sex with a partner also show them as having interpersonal difficulties in other aspects of their lives such as friends and their work/school environment.
Whether or not these men would be more successful in their interpersonal relations with others should they give up porn and masturbation is debatable. Their low levels of available dopamine and other neurochemicals (and the resulting disorders- see above) are caused by childhood trauma or, more likely, they are an inherited brain dysfunction so abstaining from sexual self pleasure will simply cut them off from all forms of sexual relief rather than enhancing their social capabilities.
There is a way out of porn
hello ppl,
i had been doin porn for some years as well.I had found a k9 web protection filter like 3 months back and I had customized it according to my needs. (like filtering porn,adult content etc) and wrote a 15 random digits in a paper and set it as the password as the administrator and a email id (which i created for installing). Well u mite ask wats the purpose of creating web filter if u kno the password.. so I flushed the paper(u can burn it as well hehe :D) in which i had written the password.. deleted the email id as well... they are pretty gud security company and there is no way to bypass or uninstall the software nd best part is it is FREE..all in all super gud..i have had porn free 3 months..nd i hv meditated,yoga, sports..and gettin back to shape as well..pls share to fellow ppl ..god bless all...take care
Porn Addict since 10, watchu got???
Alright, listen here dick-pullers, sit back and read, cause I`ve got a story to tell. I`m 20, been watching porn since 10, at first just because I was the type of kid who got high off being sneaky, and going behind my mama`s back, it wasn`t so much about the porn per say. Anyways, that being said, I started to masturbate at 12, I remember when my boner, my right hand, and Vaseline all met together for the first time, and I`ll never forget it, because it`s like getting high for the first time (if you smoke weed, or something). Anyways, I started off with NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC photos that I stole from my art teacher in grade7-8, whatchu know about that!!! Lol, and then I decided to kick it up a notch, particularly around 14, and 15. I would go on the internet, and since I had so little experience, I didn`t even know how to cover my tracks, especially since I was using the family computer, Jesus Christ I was stupid. Anyways, my mom and stepdad would often catch me, one time I was jacking off in the living room, watching porn, and I heard them coming up stairs, so I quickly restarted the computer, pulled up my pants, and barely managed to button up, when they came through the door, to see me trippin`balls, literally, I pulled my pants up so fast, I could`ve fucking lost them. I remember feeling so embarrassed, every time I would get caught, and for those who have "religion/God" guilt, I feel you. I am not in any way religious, but growing up as a teen, I did have an interest, and I would pray, read the bible, follow the preaching’s, go to church (occasionally), etc. Just because I don`t do that now, doesn`t mean I don`t know what it`s like; to feel guilty towards God for watching porn and what knot. And I am not going to argue either case, because I am telling my fucking story, so let`s save the arguing for the pal who have nothing better to do, than argue over the internet. ANYWAYS, I eventually mastered hiding my porn addiction, while using and manipulating my family to support it without them knowing, and yeah I know that behaviour may sound raunchy, well, because it is raunchy, but I fucking suffered for it, and I am not afraid to admit to anyone who asks me, what I did, because the truth will set us free, so to speak. So, finally, at 18, I bought my own laptop, and just splurged in the porn sea for like a year and a half, with like no worries. I stopped feeling guilty for watching porn completely at around this time, and I learned that FROM MY EXPERIENCE, that there really is no reason to feel guilty for watching pornography, it`s just that if you feel guilty, it is most probably linked to the behaviour behind your porn addiction, or porn use, however often it may be. You may be going against your family and/or religious values. If that is the case, you`re are still wasting your time to feel guilty (in my opinion), because if you`re indulging in all the pleasures of having a non-human, non-emotional, machine fulfill your sexual desires, without any effort required, than why the fuck are you then turning around and complaining about the bad consequences? Bitch, make a decision, and live with the consequences, and if you end up in hell, or become a computer zombie, don`t fucking complain, I`ve been watching porn for 10 motherfucking years, deceived my family for it, held me back from fucking REAL PEOPLE (man or woman, whatever), being in real life relationships, and I suffer for it TO THIS DAY! DO I complain? Fuck off, why should I? YES, it does suck that I (at least to my strong belief) have succumb to a critical condition of social and flirting retardation because of investing so much time and energy in a piece of machinery that wouldn`t have the heart to care whether or not I live another day. AND??? Fuck I`m 20 years old, the fact that I have this experience has cultivated a certain wisdom within my soul that I am now going to use for the good, and not the evil, pornography bathe in the swamp of its own filthy shit for all I care, let the government shut down all the porn sites (which they will never do, because they like to keep their cabbage-headed people nice and stupid), man I`ll keep walking my way like nothing fucking happened. AS of today, I am done with that shit. I am going to go and find a nice, fresh [...] that will love my dick with all the moist, tender love it can muster. YOU CAN DO IT TO! But do wtv you want, I don`t give a damn shit, even if no one ends up reading this shit, I`ll be content, but if you do learn something, I`m happy for you, now go and be a better person, and do whatever you want, and if you complain for the consequences of YOUR CHOICES, not only will the world laugh at you, the world will chew you up, swallow your guts and [...], no joke, I am serious.
PEACE OUT, and GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
Gabriel, I have been a porn
Gabriel, I have been a porn addict off and on as well for the last 30 years and was 1st exposed when I was 8. I just want you to know that it's not your fault...somewhere along the line someone exposed you to images you shouldn't have been expose to (creepy teacher). I would suggest that you get help as I have been sober for three years but just relapsed recently. I am really sad about it but I am not going to let it steal my life like it has in the past. Also, I have been a christian my whole life and struggled with all the things you were saying too and just know that God doesn't hate us. Just do your best.
Hello everyone.
Hello everyone.I am a 16 year old boy thats been addicted to porn for 4 years now.I am a christian,and I feel ashamed that I constantly sin against God on a daily basis.It is getting to the point where I feel uncomfortable praying because I know that I will do it again.I have never had a girlfriend and I feel sad about it.I know how most of you feel.I am afraid to tell my dad because if he knew about it,he would tell how wrong I am.I am so blessed that I know that I am not the only one going through this .I dont want to masterbate anymore.I am getting to tired of keeping it under wraps and I will not stop praying because I know that my Lord Jesus will help me.Please pray for me and I will pray for all of you.
For the 16 year old
For the 16 year old Christian. Please forgive me for small errors and lengthy a discussion but this is very serious and I have little time. Don't give up. One of the problems with society is that if one can't explain something using "science" it is assumed that there is little or no legitimacy to the issue. Unfortunatey Cayla neglected a number of factors that heavily influence the "success" or " failure" of our understanding of this quasi disorder. Another problem is the interjection of God into this issue. Many churches will steer clear of this issue which only adds more to the spiritual aspects of youir guilt. You don't want to disappoint God, but in many religions / churches we are also taught that masturbation is wrong. At sixteen years old with raging hormones this is not very helpful. Even at 50+ years old with raging hormones it is an issue (this issue confronts many good individuals at all ages) . After all how did we stumble on this site. We must be researching this issue for many of the same reasons. First, you already realize that confronting this annoyance now will save you from dealing with deeper more devastating issues later. This is true. If you are serious about your God and your faith you will not allow idiots to demean you or throw in some sort of voodoo science that is inconclusive or slanted to make a point. You are human, you have physical functions that need to be met. Rather than venting your sexuality in any number or detrimental ways ie: promiscuity (which in fact destroys many elements of respect for women as you increase your sexual encounters), forced sex (destructive to victim and empowering to the aggressor), etc. True addicts will destroy anything to get a fix. Just as true with sexual deviants. You hardly sound like a deviant to me but if you persist in this constant guilt that is not from your God than you will never begin to understand how to regulate and control your urges just as you would scratching an itch or urinating. The material you use as your visual stimulant can be viewed in a number of ways, unfortunately most probably are damaging and a deterrant to your quest . This is where the problem really begins as does the understanding and the control elements of this particular issue. Understand that this is not some college thesis issue where you are left with statements such as "I was left with more questions than answers". Well if you have more questions than answers and you still continued to write this "paper" than you have acted very irresponsibly and obviously are not in a position of being viewed as a fair journalist. Kinda' makes as much sense as becoming a neuro surgeon after using wikipedia and other generic sources for information. Cayla does not seem to care if you are earnestly attempting to grow and mature without hiding from anything that might expose this and free you, otherwise her expose' would have reflected genuine understanding as one that has counciled many at all ages in accepting themselves and not blaming a fictitious god that has been defined by those who have no clue. The God you speek of and put faith in causes people to not become enslaved by anything. Quite simply... Moderation, prayer,dilligence, and get all the info from folks who are comfortable with being non-judgemental. It will be a lifetime battle it is just the flesh tryin' to run the show-your spirit is doing just fine.
Thank you.
Thank you for your response. In fact, I haven't looked up a sight for 2 weeks.The guilt has started to decrease over the years but I praise God that I don't have to watch porn! I am praying for girlfriend that loves God and can pray with me and read the Bible with me.I want to wait till I get married to start a healthy sexual relationship.Please pray for me to fully overcome this storm.
May God bless you!
God aside...
It is both amusing and insane how much hope some people on this page are putting into "God" to help their porn addiction, or any addiction for that matter. Im not here to bash any religion but the only way to stop an addiction is through your own mind. If you believe that God gave you this mind, so be it, but its already been given and you must change it yourself. Take some responsibility and find other things to do, learn a musical instrument, take up a sport, find a girlfriend after youve stopped jerking it for a while. It is possible to stop, youve just got to know your strong enough, and everyone is. Meditation is also key to any sort of change taking place in the mind, and i would recommend this as a priority to anyone overcoming an addiction. As someone who has smoked the green for 4 years and then stopped, and used to be addicted to porn, I hope you take my advice. look up some meditation technique and/or just get a hobby to fill in the time! best luck
porn viewing
This is stupid its not classified as a disease, its like an OCD thing the person just has to do it. I really don't understand how anyone can get addicted to porn (lol). I am 19 and yeah i watch my fair share but its boring just seeing the same shit over and over agian and my morals a pretty steep so i don't watch really trashy porn that stuff is not a turn on just gross.
The fastest way to overcome any addiction is to find a reason to hate it. This is a simple thing to do for many people and if you feel like your powerless over your computer and a video that's made up of a few 100 pixels than get some help seriously.Porn is there because people like the way sex feels and some enjoy watching it. I can't stand conservative values being pushed on any one. If a person has a high sex drive i would much rather them watch porn and masturbate than get some one pregnant.
You all sound like this stupid ass writer who only writes emotional bull crap to get people to like his stupid articles Mark Kastleman. Whats funny about all of this is that pornography didn't cause a person to be addicted to it its the person who is watching it that must exercise self control, or simply date some one who they would be interested in having sex with. lol porn is a dangerous weapon jimmy its the ammo for the rod riffle lol
Confession
Dear All
I have also really struggled with a pornography problem for up to 7 years now. I am a Roman Catholic and it is out of going to frequent confession that I have recently managed to control pornography and masturbation. I have none the less relapsed at times and today I decided to investigate the effects that pornography has on my brain so as to strengthen my resolve against it. I have read through a number of Dr. Judith Reismans articles (which you can all access on this site http://drjudithreisman.org/) and I am glad that I stumbled upon this website.
The key thing about confession that I would like to highlight is that it is free therapy and it does a great deal in helping me know that that sin has been forgiven and that I am right with God. After confession people cannot point an accusing fingers since believe it or not every one has some skeletons in their closets as was the case with the men who wanted to stone Martha in the Gospel but it turned out that they were even greater sinners. If someone has no skeletons than it would mean that that person is a saint and as opposed to looking down upon you with a judgmental eye, he or she will endeavor to assist you.
I have taken up some of the advise given here by enrolling into a cycling club and I also plan to join a basketball team so as to ensure that I am DOING STUFF.
Dear sir, I'm glad to hear
Dear sir,
I'm glad to hear you empowered yourself in controlling this addiction. While I admit the therapy and your religious believes surely helped you to go through, I would like to encourage you in little bit different way that I find effective and would like to share with you.
First of all the porn addiction comes from the natural need for sexual reproduction. One have to be aware of this hidden power to be able to control it.
Today we are bombarded by visual junk that subconsciously actives our hidden instincts to create arousal and lead to a successful deal with the advertiser. Don't fall for that.
Frequent sexual stimulation depletes brain from important chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and oxytocin (article). These chemicals are needed besides proper body functioning for human motivation and social interaction. Because of the overstimulation and the nature of our brain, we become tolerant to these chemicals and crave for more. Therefore stopping this chemical release comes with unwillingness of brain to get back to normal levels, because it feels very unfulfilled. When person can't cope with this craving he does anything to remove this stress. Reasonable person understands that this is only short term satisfaction and not long term solution. The addiction alters reasoning and hijacks person to remove craving without him being aware. It's only about the brain feeling good. When a person regains normal chemical levels that individual becomes more motivated, outgoing, sensitive (as opposed to numbed senses) and has higher self-esteem. This fact itself is essential for happy daily life. It should be one's obligation to reason before altering his highly complex and sensitive reward circuity. When used improperly or malfunctioning it must be one's highest priority to get it fixed.
Porn Addiction
One contributor asserted that porn changes the brain over time. I was 21 when I saw my first porn movie. I didn't understand what happened, but I felt a rush of good stuff pouring out of my brain. It was mesmerizing and felt great. It was an incredible rush. It was also the worst mistake of my life.
porn has ruined me
I became addicted to porn in 6th grade. I used to be athletic, popular, a guy who all the girls liked. Im now in 8th grade, a fat, ugly, social recluse, all because I gave into porn. The guilt and shame is unbearable. I feel disgusting. I cant be around friends without me fantasizing about there moms and sisters. I turned my back on family friends and God. I have become the monster I once hated. And it disgusts. Please think and pray about me. I would appreciate it.
Your not alone I know how you feel!
I know how u feel, I feel like Im a lie to everyone. Nobody ever expects a good student with A's and B's who is going into medicine and who is a college student to watch porn and have sex repeatedly. I feel bad especially when my dad uses me as an example and tells my brother "you should be more like your sister, study more and be good like her" oh god how bad I feel because I may care about school but how on earth can my actions be justified. They're not. Its like i am living to lifes, one with all the so called pro's, smart heads, adults friends, and my family who view me with a so called bright future, but on the other side having sex with my boyfriend who they believe would never even think of it, watching porn and I have even got to a point where my desire was so bad I had sex with my so called friend like 3 times till i couldnt stand the feeling of guilt that I cut all connects with that person because I was being unfaithful to my boyfriend who truely loves me. That guilty feeling hasn't gone away. Neither has my addiction, i would say, for sex. Its actually gotten worst with all the porn I have seen I have wanted every position and like everywhere. I have even gone as far as desiring being penatrated 3 ways at the same time, and all these thoughts just wont leave me alone. I honestly dont know what to do, I also feel like a monster a beast. More then anything I feel like a lie, but I feel better now that I feel like im not alone that there is others who feel the same way almost as me. I dont know if I'll ever get ride of this addiction for sex but if I keep looking for help secretly like how i have been doing for this few days I may just be able to begin the process of getting ride of this addiction. I hope this make you my brother feel better, your not alone.