site sits

In a spur-of-the-moment semi-foolish desire to risk the cold and be in the woods, Thursday night I ventured to my site. I walked through the place I am becoming better acquainted with, shining my headlamp on animal (rabbit?) tracks to help navigate this new nighttime setting. The dark has a way of disorienting you, pushing you into vulnerable spaces where groping for and trusting in recognizable markers has to be learned again. I took a few long-exposure photos at the site

Scape. Humanity.

In order to preserve the original image I had of the balcony, I decided to revisit my site soon after the snowfall. The beer bottles had a light coating of snow and the cigarrets were completely covered up. I was so thankful that the site that I had been visiting in order to restore my mental peace was finally back how I had first seen it. My week had been sort of off since I was really sick (in bed) all day Monday and Tuesday. Getting outside and being left alone in the quiet was a needed period of time. I had been cooped up all day for two days and was so sick of my room. I stood on the balcony and breathed the crisp air, observing everything I had missed. I suddenly didn't mind that it was freezing outside and that I probably would be causing myself to fall even more sick.

The walk to the center of the labyrinth was bittersweet despite the cold and the flakes of snow falling from above. I felt like I was living in two different worlds simultaneously. I was warm and cold at the same time. I felt very warm inside thinking about what happened yesterday on Valentines with my first valentine. I felt like a little girl going to Disney for the first time. I couldn’t stop smiling as I stared into the bouquet of roses in my hand. I had brought them out with me to distract me from the cold.  My face started to ache and before I knew it, I was at the center of the labyrinth. I stood in the center for a couple minutes thinking, reminiscing memories of yesterday. The cold breeze gently touched my skin and the ground beneath me pulled me close to the earth.

Instead of chasing my thoughts off tonight while I sat, I decided to write them all down. It worked well and left me feeling very calm and colleted.... I'm typing them here just as I had them

it looks like I've been smoking as my warm breath hits the air.... little clouds that are whisked away by wind

no stars tonight.... does that mean clouds above me or simply too much reflected light?

darkly wooded trees look almost off white against that black horizon

seems so late but the coming and going of others reminds me it's only just past 7

tiny bits of snow like icing on a cookie

So--urged on by all your reports of the miserable cold--I took the opportunity of Monday's relative warmth to make my first visit to my site sit (good thing I did, since the Polar Vortex has now arrived!). Anyhow, the first thing I noticed was the discarded paper cup. The second thing I noticed was the noise. Here you go: http://youtu.be/ac1I-PDRtos

The site is really lovely--look @ how it looks! But the noise...dunno if I can stay.
Mark Lord (who is using his sabbatical to, among other things, meditate)
tells me that my task is to rise above this. I'm not sure, ecologically thinking, that it is.
Or that I can....

The snow was coming down in heavy flakes, sticking to my hair and coat like little pieces of cotton candy. I was balanced between two stepping stones, trying to catch the cold snow flakes and let them melt in the warmth of my mouth. My efforts were it vain; why is it that even in a heavy snow, snowflakes still find a way of avoiding capture? I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small chocolate heart wrapped in pink and red aluminum foil. As I was chewing on the cold, dark chocolate, I unfolded the foil, smoothing over Dove Chocolate’s personalized Valentine’s Day message with my thumbs: “Be your own valentine”. Thanks Dove.

I couldn't make uploading the videos here work, but I uploaded them to YouTube so here are the links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEBMuCmecso

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEAsvzj1GNY

I was unable to find sufficient time to spend outside yesterday since it was so crazy, so I ended up spending my time outside in the snow this morning.

Because I was struggling last week with writing about my outside experience with words, I am trying something different this time. I'll try to include videos, of the creek and of my walk back up from the creek. (I'm having trouble uploading the videos so hopefully that will be up soon...) I'll also include two haikus I've written, because they are an example of trying to say a lot with very few words.

delicate fractals
stealth beauty, oft unnoticed
one breath and it's gone

frozen stillness, sleep
snow fall blankets the silence
one stream flows, alive

Just as I was about to leave the campus center to go do my site, I was invited to listen in on a conversation two of my friends were having. Friend A was telling a recollection of tragic events that had occured in the past and how everything seemed to be eerily connected, but not in a comforting way. I wouldn't consider myself a fan of scary and thrilling, but I would say I'm very into superstition, conspiracies theories and really anything that is grounded in reality but in a way that makes us realize there can be outside forces acting on everything around us making them align in strange ways. Are these occurences actually coincidental or is there something else going on?