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Bipolar Disorder and the Creative Genius

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Biology 202
1998 Third Web Reports
On Serendip

Bipolar Disorder and the Creative Genius

HimaBindu K Krishna

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is a psychopathology that affects approximately 1% of the population. (1) Unlike unipolar disorder, also known as major affective disorder or depression, bipolar disorder is characterized by vacillating between periods of elation (either mania or hypomania) and depression. (1, 2) Bipolar disorder is also not an illness that remedies itself over time; people affected with manic depression are manic-depressives for their entire lives. (2, 3) For this reason, researchers have been struggling to, first, more quickly diagnose the onset of bipolar disorder in a patient and, second, to more effectively treat it. (4) As more and more studies have been performed on this disease, the peculiar occurrence between extreme creativity and manic depression have been uncovered, leaving scientists to deal with yet another puzzling aspect of the psychopathology. (5)

Patients with bipolar disorder swing between major depressive, mixed, hypomanic, and manic episodes. (1-9) A major depressive episode is when the patient has either a depressed mood or a loss of interest/pleasure in normal activities for a minimum of two weeks. Specifically, the patient should have (mostly): depressed mood for most of the day, nearly every day; diminished interest or pleasure in activities; weight loss or gain (a difference of 5% either way in the period of a month); insomnia or hypersomnia; psychomotor agitation or retardation; fatigue or loss of energy; diminished ability to think or concentrate; feelings of worthlessness; recurrent thoughts of death or suicidal ideation or attempt. It is important to note that, except for the last symptom, all of these symptoms must be present nearly every day. (2, 7) In addition to major depressive episodes, patients with manic depression also feel periods of hypomania. A hypomanic episode must be a period of at least four days, during which the affected person feels elevated or irritated--a marked difference from the depressed period. (2, 7) The symptoms are: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative than usual, flight of ideas or racing thoughts, distractibility, psychomotor agitation or an increase in goal-directed activity, excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that may have negative consequences. (2, 7) This change in mood is observable by others and medications, substance abuse, or another medical condition does not cause the symptoms. (7)

In contrast to hypomania is mania, which is a more extreme case of hypomania. A manic episode is a period of an elevated or irritable mood for at least one week. (2, 7) The symptoms must cause problems in daily functioning and cannot be caused by a medical condition or drugs. (7) Manic symptoms are: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative than usual, flight of ideas or racing thoughts, attention easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items, increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation, and excessive involvement in pleasurable activities which may have negative consequences. (2, 7) Lastly, bipolar disorder patients may also go through mixed episodes, which are periods when the patient meets the criteria for both a manic episode and a major depressive episode every day for at least one week. (2,7)

Due to the different mood phases, which the patient may experience, the DSM-IV (diagnostic manual of American Psychologists) has categorized two different types of bipolar disorder, I and II.

Bipolar I is characterized as any one of the following variations:
1. The patient having a manic episode without precedence of a depressive episode
2. Most recently in a hypomanic episode with at least one previous manic or mixed episode
3. Most recently in a manic episode with at least one previous major depressive episode, manic episode, or mixed episode
4. Most recently a mixed episode with at least one previous major depressive episode, manic episode, or mixed episode. (7)

Subsequently, Bipolar II is characterized as the presence or history of one or more major depressive episodes and at least one hypomanic episode, without a precedence of a manic or mixed episode. (7, 1) One of the problems with diagnosing bipolar disorder is that the symptoms may not be incredibly noticeable until the disease has progressed to a dangerous point. (4) The disorder is such that a manic phase may only last a few hours at a time. (4) That is, the episode can proceed as a few hours of mania every day for at least one week. The affected person may not mind the mania or may be in denial of the disease, and since it only lasts a few hours, no one else may even notice. (4) By the time people actually begin to notice the manic-depressive cycle (or just the mania) it has already reached a point where the patient is barely able to function normally. (4) In addition, many clinicians have difficulty first differentiating between bipolar I and bipolar II. Since the types of patients, lengths of episodes, and age of onset are very similar, the only diagnostic tool is the difference between mania and hypomania. Since the symptoms are basically the same, except for the understanding that mania is one step more severe than hypomania, many clinicians fluctuate between the two subsets before diagnosing the patient. (4) Studies are still being conducted to more accurately and quickly distinguish bipolar I patients from bipolar II patients.

Researchers are still questioning the cause of manic depression. The most popular theory is that the disorder is caused by an imbalance of norepinephrine and serotonin. (1) During manic periods there are unusually high levels of norepinephrine and serotonin while, during depressed periods, there are unusually low levels. (1) The biological explanation is also supported by strong genetic inheritance. Many twin studies have been performed which have shown a predominance of bipolar disorder among monozygotic (identical) and dizygotic (fraternal) twins, with a greater chance of inheritance in monozygotic twins. Other studies have shown that bipolar patients often have a family history of both bipolar and unipolar disorder. (2) In addition to these studies, the fact that the most common method of treatment for bipolar disorder is medication testifies to the validity of the biological theory of causation.

Treatment for manic depression consists of mood stabilizers, medications that balance the manic and depressive states experienced by patients with bipolar disorder. (6) The most common treatment, or the first medication attempted, is Lithium. Lithium increases the serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake, this causes its counterbalancing effects of mania and depression. (6, 8) Research shows that Lithium alters NA transport and may interfere with ion exchange and nerve conduction. (8) Another effect of Lithium is its ability to inhibit second-messenger systems. These systems regulate cell cycling and circadian rhythms. Cell cycling and circadian rhythms, in turn, dictate the frequency and duration of the manic-depressive moods. (6, 9) However, many patients do not respond to Lithium. Some say that this is due to the drug, while others maintain that it is due to lack of consistency in taking the drug. (6) It has been shown that Lithium in not effective for all types of bipolar disorder, so other medications have been produced to help Lithium resistant individuals. (6, 8)

Anticonvulsants are the second attempted medications to alleviate the symptoms of bipolar disorder. Valproate (VPA) and Carbamazepine (CBZ) are the two most commonly prescribed. VPA has the same efficacy as Lithium for decreasing mania as well as acting faster, which is important to some patients. (6) However, the exact mechanism of action is still unclear. Research indicates that VPA may be involved with gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). VPA may either enhance GABA receptor activity and/or inhibit its metabolism. (6) CBZ has similar effects as VPA. That is, CBZ is also an anticonvulsant that alleviates the symptoms of mania, and possibly depression. Unlike VPA, more is known on the mechanism of CBZ. CBZ has been associated with neurotransmitter and ion-channel systems. (6) It binds to voltage-sensitive sodium channels, decreasing the sodium influx. It promotes potassium conductance and may block dopamine receptor-mediated currents. (6) Medication seems to be the best treatment to date for bipolar disorder. Psychotherapy is also helpful, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy, which focuses on readjusting patient's perceptions of life. (2, 3) However, patients still experience symptoms to one degree or another.

Though this psychopathology is not for one to wish, one interesting association with bipolar disorder is the creativity of those afflicted. (2, 3, 5, 7) This is not the normal creativity experienced by the above-average people (on the scale of creativity). This creativity is the creative genius, which is so rare, yet an inordinate percentage of the well-known creative people were/are afflicted with manic depression. (2, 3) Among the lengthy list are: (writers) F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath; (poets) William Blake, Sara Teasdale, Walt Whitman, Ralph Waldo Emerson; (composers) Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky. (10) Psychiatrists, realizing a connection greater than coincidence, have performed studies all over the world in an attempt to establish a link between bipolar disorder and creativity. (5) In the 1970s, Nancy C. Andreasen of the University of Iowa examined 30 creative writers and found 80% had experienced at least one episode of major depression, hypomania, or mania. (5) A few years later Kay Redfield Jamison studied 47 British writers, painters, and sculptors from the Royal Academy. She found that 38% had been treated for bipolar disorder. In particular, half of the poets (the largest group with manic depression) had needed medication or hospitalization. (5) Researchers at Harvard University set up a study to assess the degree of original thinking to perform creative tasks. They were going to rate creativity in a sample of manic-depressive patients. Their results showed that manic-depressives have a greater percentage of creativity than the controls. (5) There have been biographical studies of earlier generations of artists and writers which show that they have 18 times the rate of suicide (as compared to the general population), 8-10 times the rate of unipolar depression, and 10-20 times the rate of bipolar depression. (5) The additive results of these studies provide ample evidence that there is a link between bipolar disorder and creative genius. The question now is not whether or not there exists a connection between the two, but why it exists.

One common feature in mania or hypomania is the increase in unusually creative thinking and productivity. (2, 3, 5, 7) The manic factor contributes to an increased frequency and fluency of thoughts due to the cognitive difference between normalcy and mania. (2, 5) Manic people often speak and think in rhyme or alliteration more than non-manic people. (2, 5) In addition, the lifestyles of manic-depressives in their manic phase is comparable to those of creative people. Both groups function on very little sleep, restless attitudes, and they both exhibit depth and emotion beyond the norm. (2, 5) Biologically speaking, the manic state is physically alert. That is, it can respond quickly and intellectually with a range of changes (i.e. emotional, perceptual, behavioral). (5) The manic perception of life is one without bounds. This allows for creativity because the person feels capable of anything. It is as if the walls, which inhibit the general population, do not exist in manic people, allowing them to become creative geniuses. They understand a part of art, music, and literature which normal people do not attempt. The manic state is in sharp contrast to the depressive phase of bipolar patients. In their depressed phase, patients only see gloom and boundaries. They feel helpless, and out of this helplessness comes the creativity. (5) The only way bipolar patients can survive their depressed phases, oftentimes, is to unleash their despondency through some creative work. (5, 3)

Since the states of mania and depression are so different, the adjustment between the two ends up being chaotic. Looking at some works of literature or music, it can be noticed which phase the creator was in at the time of composition. In works by Sylvia Plath, for example, the readers may take notice of the sharp contrast among chapters. Some chapters she is full of hope and life, while other chapters read loneliness and desolation. Another example can be found in Tchaikovsky's music; there is a great variation among his compositions concerning their tone, tempo, rhythm, etc. In fact, some say that most actual compositions result from this in-between period because this is the only time when the patient can physically deliver something worthwhile. (3) Because the phases are so chaotic, the ideas float during the manic and depressive states, but the final, developed products are formed during the patients' "normal" phases.

However, the problem with bipolar disorder in present time is that drug treatment often vanquishes the creativity in the patient. (5) In earlier days when drug therapy was not implemented, the creativity would be free. Yet, through the attempt for affected people to cope with day to day living, their creativity must be sacrificed. It is remarkable how these "afflicted" persons exude extraordinary creativity. Therapists and researchers are on the constant search to provide treatment for the debilitating symptoms. In the case of bipolar disorder, the world benefits from the mood swings endured by a large percentage of these patients. Though their ability to function properly is of utmost concern, since the cycling between manic and depressive phases is so traumatic and energy depleting, the unusual existence of creativity of such caliber in these people is something to conserve. As more effective drug treatment is being sought after, hopefully there will be medication that will permit the creative genius of the patients and allow them to function in society as well.

Bibliography

1. http://www.healthguide.com/Bipolar/BASICS.htm

2. Rescorla, Leslie. Psychology 209, Abnormal Psychology. Bryn Mawr College, Apr 1998.

3. http://www.Scruznet.com/`Crawford/Madness/

4. http://www.medscape.com/Medscape/M5/mh3183.bowden/mh3183.bowden.html

5. http://www.schizophrenia.com/ami/Cnsmer/creative.html

6. http://www.medscape.com/Medscape/M7/mh3206.bowden/mh3206.bowden.html

7. http://www.cmhc.com/disorders/sx20.htm

8. http://www.usask.ca/psychiatry/bipolar2.html

9. http://www.mhsource.com/edu/psytimes/p960533.html

10. http://www.pendulum.org/misc/famous.htm

 

 

Continuing conversation
(to contribute your own observations/thoughts, post a comment below)

12/21/2005, from a Reader on the Web

Just glanced at your bipolar/creativity article. I'm afraid that mis-conceptions like symptom remision interfering with creativity is cited as reasons for people with bipolar disorder to discontinue any form of treatment. Although I don't have the references with me, a survey of the literature now (look for Richard's work with the Lifetime Creativity Scales) would suggest that it isn't people with full-blown mental illness that are creative (as behaviours such as apathy and psycho-motor retardation or grandiosity and poor impulse control would impede production of creative works), it is actually those with sub-syndromal mental illness (a partial expression of a genetic pheontype perhaps identifiable in family members or muted psychiatric symptoms) that are more creative. That research lab has also found that creativity actually goes down in people with full blown mental illness. I think this speaks to the importance of managing one's symptoms so that one can use the gifts that this style of thinking can afford. While this discussion needs greater space than comments can afford, I would caution people from making medical decisions based off of the few emminent people that do come to our attention with mental illness, rather than research conducted on everyday people. I would also make the caution that if a person with bipolar disorder does feel they are finally comming around and they suddenly have a tonne of creative ideas, please pace yourself and take steps to limit what could be another manic episode. Other creativity research will tell you that creative endeavour for MOST people is much like a marathon....if you sprint for the first half the race, you'll hit the wall in the second half. However, if you pace yourself (perhaps by keeping a book of creative ideas that can be explored later), you are much more likely to have a better overall performance and finish the race. David Armstrong

 

Additional comments made prior to 2007
I suffer with Bipolar Disorder and at times it can be a debilitating illness. However, even though I must take medication for the rest of my life, I find that I can still be creative in producing pencil portraits and I have written two books which have been published ... Barbara O'Sullivan, 11 March 2006

 

 

This paper was extremely well done. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder now for 6 years or so. I'm 44 years of age. I agree less with the first contributing thought comment than I do with HimaBindu's thoughts regarding creativity. From personal experience, I was most creative during my one and only week long lasting full blown manic episode. Although it is true that I was not organized about my creativity, if the person who is experiencing full blown mania has a channel for their creativity - if they get on a word processor and start writing, or if they are an artist, if they get out a canvass and start painting, or if a musician if they get out music sheets ? and start composing, while seated at a piano I suppose, they'd be able to produce something that is higher up the scale of creativity, in my opinion, than someone who is experiencing hypo mania (slight mania) or a normal mood or a mixed mood or depression. When you are fully manic, you feel as if you have entered the gates of "heaven on earth." That you have reached an enlightened state. You feel as if you are a prophet. As you have no way to compare what you are experiencing to any past experiences. (Assuming it is your first manic episode.) I did not realize I had had a mental "breakdown" until the mania crashed into a heavy depression, and I knew at that point that when my wife wanted me to go to a psychiatrist, she was right. While I was manic, I told her I just thought I had become enlightened or something. While you are in the fully manic state, you (or at least I did) have an obsession to be creative. If I were outside the home doing something else, I'd think in my mind while driving home, what I was going to write next, and be so obsessed with adding it to my writing that I would run full speed up the stairway to get to the computer quickly enough. While I was writing, which was a sort of whimsical play script, writing with an elizabethan english accent (even though I'm American,) a complete symphony was playing in my mind, a new one not a existing one, to go with the play script, even though I don't have much training in music (played some trumpet in high school.)

The trouble was, whatever I was writing, I believed afterwards anyways, was a sort of prophesy - such that when you are writing, you don\'t know what the prophecy is at the time - you are not sure what the thoughts mean or where they came from. So it is just a very intense experience. I was able to hike with more strength as well I remember, it isn't just your brain that is operating at a very high "RPM."

So I agree with HimaBindu that an organized creative bipolar type would harness the creativity while they were fully manic, and save it, then fine tune it later after getting through the months of nasty depression which is the price of full blown mania (what goes up must come down.)

I also agree somewhat to Armstrong's comment, that ideas might be more useable, down to earth, less prophetic in nature, and less grandiose (if you listen to a lot of the classical music from famous composers - you could almost define the great ones as grandiose.) An exception might be art, music, and certain writings. So that really depends on what is being created. Creating a concept for an advertisement would probably be better done while hypomanic than manic, as this is a not so grandiose creation. While classical music might require a grandiose mood to come up with a great composition in the first place.

It is interesting to note, that I can turn on the creativity anytime I want, just by shorting myself with sleep. I don't know why this is the case. All people I think get a little "silly" and creative when they lack sleep don't they? This is more pronounced when you have bipolar. It seems as if the logical part of your mind gets exhausted and is not used much, while the creative side becomes dominant and does not get exhausted, rather it seems to get energized.

One possibility would be to look at bipolar and mania, rather than as a genetic flaw, it may be it is the opposite end of the envelope - that bipolars are pushing the envelope of creativity as an evolutionary stretch - that perhaps the human species mind is evolving to become more creative. That one day you could be fully manic your entire life, without crashing into depression, and live a richer life as a result. The "Kingdom of God" that Jesus spoke of (who some people think was bipolar by the way) could actually be a mental heaven that our species is progressing towards. Towards enlightenment I guess you could say. I realize I am getting a bit grandiose with this evolutionary possibility, but anything is possible, so I wouldn't write it entirely off as out of touch with reality. Some authors seem to also think there is a link between mania and spirituality, and I think that is along the same lines of what I just mentioned ... Jim, 16 June 2006

 

 

From my knowledge of manic-depression, and as a type I manic-depressive myself, I agree with Armstrong ... Douglas Lucas, 19 July 2006

 

 

I finally found a clue that might help me and others about the Bipolar Disorder Creative Genius. I have severe chronic back pain and have to take strong pain killers and muscle relaxants. I have been detoxed twice in a hospital ward for drug addiction. I made the decision to enter on my own. I hate taking the meds and the way they make me feel but each time I have had to go back and get the meds for pain. That's my history but the first time I detoxed and the place that I was in there was some really weird things going on and others thought so too. Anyway they were jacking with my thyroid. The Doctor said my test showed borderline and then he said "I'm going to give you some thyroid medicine;sometimes you can jumpstart a thyroid.Each time the Nurse would bring my meds I would look at them and ask her what they were even though I had it all memorized. I knew them by their shape and color. So rather wait till after a group therapy session to give me some meds she just comes over where I am sitting and tells me here is another med for you. It was like nothing I had ever seen before but she tells me it was thyroid medicine. I was so wired I felt like I was going for the moon. Iwas a total nervous wreck but I had to fight the horrible nervousness constantly. And for some reason (how about in the name of science!)they started giving us intelligence tests. The therapist giving the test said it was a test that they gave Marines and that seldom does anyone score 1 and extremely rare for anyone to score 2. Another part of the test was to score your answers by how close they came to being right or something like that. Anyway I was already sailing in outer space a bit,soI sailed right through this test never thinking twice about my choices because we were being timed also. All I know is I am no genius and my scores were off the charts you might say. I had the two answers that were rarely answered correctly and I scored 37 points. In comparison to everyone else in the room and their being on the low end, No one even got 1 on the first part of the tests and the scores on the other part were like 12 to 17. What was going on in my brain I haven't a clue. Everyone that was in this ward of only 16 people felt like we were being used like lab rats. It is a very long and complicated story that I won't get into any further ... Linda Rivers, 22 May 2007

Comments

Bipolar Disorder's picture

Bipolar Music

Yea, I kin of did that & it made me in island in this world. I'm not exactly sure that a great art is worth being so unhappy. Maybe for an art lover it is, but definitely not for the artist. On the other hand, when you try to stop doing it, you start dying inside. It's a never win situation.

Anonymous's picture

It has been my experience

It has been my experience that despite having gone through a brief pyschosis followed by a severe depression, I no longer feel that the term bipolar applies to me. Nonetheless, I'm aware that great care must be taken to avoid slipping into a state of extreme positive or negative confusion. As such, I take my medication as a precautionary measure but otherwise I believe this medical model is extremely flawed(though wonderfully useful).

Everything in the world, in the end, is based on a bipolar frame. The crux of all thought is contrast. I understand of course that bipolarity is, by definition, the inability to guide one's moods in a moderate or healthy way between the extremes of inflation and deflation, so such a thing as bipolarity does indeed exist. However, the contrast of high and low applies to everyone.

I think, though of course only time will tell, that a careful, productive life that actively seeks to make sense of the contrasts at the core of mood will lead to an effective arena for bringing extreme moods into alignment.

Based on the definition of hypomania, I'm hypomanic much of the time. I keep myself feeling generally good through an abundance of creative work, and through the guidance and understanding of my partner, I'm able to keep myself from becoming manic, and thereby from suffering from depression.

The result of my needing to prevent the repetition of my trip to the hospital has actually resulted in a far, far higher standard of self-care than before my psychotic episode. I take my quotidian health quite seriously, while not allowing the need to be healthy to be an imprisoning concept.

In the end, moods will always change for me, as they do for everyone else. And effective judgement, especially coupled with the balancing act of creative work, makes me feel, clinically, I'm no more bipolar than the next person.

So the author of this article's claim that people affected by bipolar disorder will have it for life is, as far as I can tell, a misguided professional claim that mimics the literature and simply doesn't take into account the full range of experience of those who've been designated bipolar.

And finally, if you know your philosophy, the bipolar frame, as useful as it is, lacks the subtlety required to transcend that frame, placing the sufferer in the double bind of having to accept the diagnosis to get necessary help from professionals, but then not being able to transcend that diagnosis to end up doing what is ultimately required: to take responsibility for oneself and one's moods, and patiently take proactive steps to gaining an open positive control over what were, in my case anyhow, supremely erratic moodswings.

Paul Grobstein's picture

transcending the bipolar diagnosis

Thanks for the valuable account of your own experiences and related thoughts. I very much share your sense that a "bipolar" diagnosis "lacks the subtlety required to transcend that frame," and that the common need, for those having the diagnosis as well as everyone else, is "to take responsibility for oneself and one's moods," using whatever resources are available while recognizing that "moods will always change" and that that is, in and of itself, a positive feature of our lives rather than a negative one.
Rebecca m's picture

Hmmm

Hey, when I was 15ish I was diagnosed as bipolar and took paxil and limictal and it made me insanely mellow. I hated it and I wanted to die more actually haha. I told my madre that I was done with it and she was mad at me because I am so crazy. I am always making up crazy scenarios, I always have to have everything hectic, I have the feeling throughout my whole body where I just want to run and keep running and screaming and do anything. And I have those episodes where I don't sleep, but when I do sleep its awake sleep. And then when I get depressed its the end of the world, it's like "Why am I even there, these people don't even like me" etc etc.

It's hard to deal with because I don't know what to do with it. And I hate the depression and irritability because then I just want to rip everyones face off because no one understands. life life ilfe hahaha...

Does anyone ever feel really stupid when they just are so hyper they can't control it? I do sometimes. I dont know.

Anonymous's picture

Confused

Hello everyone,

I have been reading up on Bipolar Disorder (BD) for quite a while after my friend mentioned it to me.

After reading through all the symptoms and signs of BDm, I suspect myself having it too. I have period where I will stare out of the window and thought of commiting suicide, or I will simply wake up and feel hopeless and laze around the whole day, thinking that I am a failure.

Recalling back, when I am in elementary school, I passed exams without even paying attention in class, as I was having other thoughts in mind. And when I move on to tertiary institution, I was full of energy and all my friends describe me as Sunshine - I also end up in the Roll of Honor in school.

However, I main concern is that I am in a country where medical record is easily accessible by the Government and Private Sector. As I heard of cases where patient with history of mental disorder, such as depression, they will be overlooked when applying for job or a place in University. I am worried if I visit the doctor and been diagnose with BD, my future will be ruin.

I am confused - should I go for the medical checkup and risk blowing up myself?

Anonymous's picture

yoy need to chill

You sound peranoid. And your symptoms sound like depression not bipolar. So go get a good job and go to the dr and find out for sure. Because i am not a dr I just think if those are your only symptoms then you dont have it

Nicole's picture

My advice to somebody who is

My advice to somebody who is feeling like they want to hurt themselves is please get help. I have personally been there before and I actually tried to committ suicide, Thankfully I ended up in the hospital instead.
It is not worth it.
Although life is way more than hard, it is also way better to find out what life is like and how life is going to turn out.
I found out I was manic bipolar two and half years ago, at first i took it fine. I took the medicine and went with the flow. Then something snapped in me one day and i wanted to stop taking it, with the help of an influence who told me I shouldnt take the medicine. So I stopped. Long story short. My life unraveled.
I have learned a lot since than.
I have also lost my family due to being bipolar.
But the one thing I havent lost is myself. I can live for me. I can live for so many things I havent found out yet. Sure, I have been depressed now for the past months due to medical problems I have had, but Life is not worth giving up no matter.
Please remember that.
And the person who told you that you just have depression doesnt know what they are talking about, they should keep there comments to thereself since they seem to be so negative.
Depression is a part of bipolar and can be a huge part of bipolar. Bipolar has stages, stages of manic and depression. The person who wrote you that comment obviously knows nothing about bipolar and should not be on this website making a mockery of what we all have.
Dont listen to it.
Go get help. It is okay. You will succeed in life no matter if you are bipolar or not.
I succeeded. I have a husband who loves me and he knows I am bipolar.
I am also a hairdresser who went through school with the hardships of being bipolar.
I am eventually going to become a nurse hopefully, and that will be difficult, but God will help me through it.
I believe because he has brought me through life. He has saved me. I have faith. And its not so bad if you do too :)
I pray that everything works out for you. :)

--------By the way the kid who decided to try and diagnose the person who felt they might have bi-polar, Never do that to somebody again. And being paranoid can definately be a part of being bipolar. Either learn about what you have or stop trying to talk about it.---------

kymber's picture

Am I playing with fire

I can relate to all of you... and I truly believe that once you get to know and understand who you really are, believe in yourself and learn to adjust your way of living and doing to suit yourself and not societal norms then you open the door to experiencing truly amazing accomplishments. My story!

In the midst of a life threatening bipolar depression I was prescribed Lamictal, an anti-convulsant. Once I leveled out my depression disappeared along with my cognitive functioning. Example.. I could easily locate my destination on the map but could not physically get there. I would drive round and round and round, stop to look at the map over and over again.. call the customer, get directions, drive around some more and a couple of times I never did get there.. just had to give up. After about a year on medication I had become a hermit; my business (interior design) was in serious trouble, lost my car, my studio and was very close to losing my house when I decided I needed to make some serious changes. I started taking 1/4 my usual dose of meds.. the energy, creativity and drive I had once known came flooding back like a huge tidal wave.

I maintain the 1/4 prescribed dose and when I feel the depression comming on I quadruple my dose for a couple of days. I understand the lamictal absorbs into the body quickly.. it seems to work like a pain killer for me. I worry though. I worry that some day the depression is going to hit me as hard as the creative energy I experienced when I cut the dose.. guess time will tell. I am happy to report that since lowering my dose I have become very successful at building environmental design systems for the hospitality industry. I'll keep taking my meds "as needed"... Fellow bipolars..get to know yourself.. and don't be afraid to play around with fire a little...

todd's picture

I have been dealing with

I have been dealing with bi-polar all my life.I dont think i would fair to well without meds.I have definitely become a more spiritual person,because of the illness.Some of the things i have dealt with have changed me.I feel i have an understanding that a "normal person" cant have.I am now able to figure out reasonably well when i am having a manic attack.This allows me to make changes and settle down so i can deal with it.I have no regrets in my life.Am also a musician and can play some very soulful music on guitar.

Paul Grobstein's picture

contributions appreciated, here and elsewhere

Appreciate you and others stopping by, adding your thoughts. Is valuable for, among other things, a current course/conversation on "mental health and the brain" that you're more than welcome to check in on/contribute to.
Annemarie's picture

Bipolar all my life

Hello, I have been reading all of comments from my Bipolar family. I was born with Bipolar (weren't we all?). I was diagnosed when I was 15. I am now 48. I am not going to go into the life of my blessing, but I have pretty much expirienced all the above. I call my Bipolar a blessing. It is a blessing for me because it has showed me things that very few people will ever see, at least in this life time.
I have read many times how in a full blown manic that Bipolars become puffed up. I feel that the reason for this is because we cannot relate to a Dr. or family that we are feeling something almost heavenly. Excuse the way I need to put this but its like we know more then the Dr. but we don't know how we do, but we do. We have seen something, felt something that nothing in this world has. I am a follower of Jesus Christ and I know their are many illnesses, deformities, sickness from the fall of mankind, but I believe that God has given us just a touch of fearless love, hope and a total feeling of having no more separation from our true place in heaven with our redeemer Jesus. I feel so blessed that I have been one of the 1% of the population to have bipolar disorder. I have been hopitalised 8 times since September 5th 1975, and though the road has been long and rough I am thankful now. I had so much help from family and wonderful Doctors that I will always keep them in my heart.
I do have something to say about medication. Stay on it. I have one of the most severe cases that my Doctors have ever seen. I really would love to be in a slight manic for my whole life but I am not in this world for just myself alone, but to be there for others. And truely it really is a lonely world when I am manic all the time because there is no one to share your world with you.
Thats it.
Thank you Annemarie

Robert's picture

Creative ability--Bipolar 1

1955-I was diagnosed manic depressive, due to a one year tour of combat in Korea in 1952. I have been under lithium for 53 years. The ups and downs were daily, weekly, monthly. No rest. The lithium didn't seem to work. Yet I married, we had 5 children. Most show the signs but refuse to believe it. I worked hard and we raised a good family. My ideas are a bit unusual and hobbies were very creative.
I had an amatuer radio station for years and designed and built some of my equipment. I built a station that used amatuer sattillites AO-10 & AO-13 to contact other amatuer stations in other parts of the world. I taught my children many of the hobbies I learned. Skiing, archery,mountaniering,camping,sailing, etc. My mind is always on run and I can understand and comprehend any thing I want. Right now it's cosmology. I'm working on Black Matter and it's possibilities. Not just casual intrest. But understand.I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 in the 70s.
Is this the mind of a person with Bipolar 1?

Robert

stehanie 's picture

I'm 17 years old, and about

I'm 17 years old, and about a year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Since then, I have been placed on various medications, anti-psychotics and a combination of mood stabilizers, and was also recently hospitalized. I have also been a writer for as long as I can remember, but as soon as my psychiatric treatment started, I quickly ran out of ideas. I have produced little to no worthy material. I'm not going to exagerate, I'm an awesome writer. AWESOME. And not being able to write is torture, it feels like I'm constipated. I hate it. I hate being crazy, but I hate not being able to write even worse.

Anonymous's picture

The Positives of Bipolar Disorder

I really liked your distinguished views between bipolar I and bipolar II.

I'm a teenage girl diagnosed with bipolar II and autism. Medications don't seem to work. However, exercise and writing my feelings has almost reliquished my depression. I noticed I sometimes feel as if I'm "out of reality". I feel momentarily like I don't belong in my time period. I also hear voices unvoluntarily, but I can just request they go away and they do.

This mentall illness is both a blessing and a cruse. When I need to do a school project or huge test, I can usually finish it within an hour. However, I have some hallucinations. They are never severe, but they are there. I have a 4.0 GPA while I'm struggling with family situations. People just need to concentrate on things that will help them. If everyone with bipolar disorder took time to know themselves, they could train themselves to rift through the negatives and grow the positives of this illness.

Thank you for this article.

Anonymous's picture

I think that you might

I think that you might actually suffer from schizoaffective disorder, as opposed to autism. Although people with schizoeffective disorder may and do have autistic tendencies. I, myself, was diagnosed with the disorder just recently. I also have a best friend who has it, and perhaps the only person who understands me to such a great extent. He actually leans more on the autistic side, in terms of his behaviours and odd movements, and also in terms of the idiosyncratic complexities of how he interacts socially. He doesn't seem to look anyone in the eye, and the vernacular of his speech is entirely composed of non-sequiturs. He is a very dear friend, and a sweetheart, as well. And probably one of the brightest people I know in terms of Latin American politics, or politics in general. He is brilliant, and sweet. And hilariously funny. I love being around him.

So there are some absolutely positive attributes about this neurological construct that we both share. I try to quell the hallucinations through physical exertion, and in going for walks (constantly). I really don't think I know how to sit still, actually. The thing that actually propels me is that with every step I take, I tell myself that I have defeated the many manifestations of my personality which are my nemeses. I actually have multiple persona in these voices that come into my head. And I try to counter them with every attempt. So I constantly stay busy; and the more activities and creative projects I engage in, the better. I've recently learned guitar (my friend is teaching me, as he is a skilled guitarist in addition to being a brilliant political analyst. And he can make these hilarious impersonations of Andy Kauffman while he plays. He, too, thinks of himself as being from another time period - he's obsessed with the 50s era. He even dresses in vintage jackets from the 1950s. He's a really awesome person.

But I just wanted to let you know that there are some really positive things about this neurological disposition; and there is so much that we can contribute if we channel our energies into creative prospects and endeavors. Remember that people like us are brilliant; that we see things on a completely different stratem of reality than most people, and that the psychosocial stratification which society has impressed upon us is trying to categorically place us in a box. WEll, society sucks, and psychiatrists are undermining our brilliance by drugging us up with clonapin and abilify (those are a few prescribed medications I'm on, as well as a cocktail of about 14 others. So don't give up, and know that I am here for you whenever you need me.

Anonymous's picture

Sour with the sweet

I'm a male who is 24 years old. I am a musician/songwriter and realized my manic/depression a couple years ago. Since I am anonymous here, trust me that I am not bragging here, but I am one of the top 3 guitar players and best slide r fiddle player in the area I live in, and I play entirely by ear -- don't know how to read music. Coincidentally, while looking through my songbook tonight, I noticed a strange pattern -- I didn't write a single song that I actually perform in all of 2006. I was in a period of depression that lasted from approximately fall 2005 until fall of 2007. This period is also characterized by my heaviest substance abuse...close to a half gallon of liquor per week usually (for a 21 or 22 year old), along with occasional Rx meds (Percocet and Darvocet type stuff) and marijuana. Looking back now, I hard to believe that I was depressed for two years. Time flies.

As stated in the article, I can track my mood swings by the songs I write. Interestingly, I have written around a dozen songs since October of '07 that I am putting on a new CD -- I have been on an upswing lately.

As for the 15 year old above, I understand completely. There were weeks and seemingly months that thoughts of suicide would enter into my thinking daily. Even as far as planning my own funeral. But it's a long term answer to a short term problem. My best reasoning was to think of my family and how selfish it would be to put them through such intense suffering to "ease" my own. Looking back now, it all seems ridiculous, but for a long time it seemed right...scary how the human mind works.

I have never been on prescription meds (fear of losing the creative and manic periods) but did try St. Johns Wort OTC at my lowest depression point and recommend it as an option to anyone who suffers from depression.

Overall, while I know that my case is not (currently) nearly as serious as that of others, I can't honestly wish it away. How boring life must be for those who feel exactly the same and "normal" every day!

reneelane22's picture

How do I become independent with this disorder

I haven't been diagnosed for bipolar just yet, I have only been treated for acute anxiety so far. I have started to seek treatment again at my boyfirend's suggestion. I really want to figure out if it's more than just anxiety that is causing me to have so many extreme mood swings. I have been sewing and selling my clothing designs on online for about 6 years now. I always go through these episodes in which I make really stunning pieces and can produce almost 4-6 items in one day. I have never been trained to design clothing and wasn't even taught how to sew. My clothing is usually in high demand on a non-stop basis year round and all over the world. The pieces are very intricate and extremely detailed. During these "manic" episodes I swear I feel like wonder woman and can't be stopped. I always make a huge amount of money in a short period of time and take on a ton of work. Then I crash and get into these deep depressions in which I can't get out of bed and I make very poor decisions. Each time I do, my business suffers, I lose money, customers, I mess up my credit and I always lose my apartments/home. I think I have been evicted at least 4 times. All I want to do is live on my own, take care of kids (I lost custody of my oldest son with autism via CPS during a deep depression) and pay my bills. How can I be productive with these medications especially if they hender your creativity. Is there anyway for me to have a normal life and be independent when I can't seem to get my behavior under control. Someone has suggested that I get on SSI. If there was a way to just be consistant with my work habits, I think I could take care of myself without government help.

Anonymous's picture

If you don't get in line we'll lock you away...

I am a 29 year old male and have Bipolar disorder. I have written numerous moving piano pieces (without the benefit of a formal education). I have my own design TV show that encompasses creative elements. The climax to all my most praised work has been attributed to my highest manic states. Over the years I have been issued several antipsychotics and mood stabilizers which in turn have suppressed my creative thought process. In a society where mental illness still carries a stigmatism, it is often times easier to conform to "whats socially accepted" and to function as others see fit. With no uncertainties, I sincerely believe that HimaBindu K Krishna's views are accurate. The following are lyrics by Dave Matthews (who suffers from mental illness himself)and perhaps gives a lyrical insight to which things I speak about.

Everybody's happy, everybody's free, Keep the big door open, everyone'll come around, Why are you different, why are you that way, If you don't get in line we'll lock you away, it's a typical situation, in these typical times, if you don't get in line we'll lock you away...

Because I am in the public eye, I will respectfully choose to stay anonymous.

Keri's picture

bipolar and piano music

Your comment caught my eye. I am female and 29 this year and also have bipolar. It has been a struggle for eight years and the love for music and my piano has helped me so much. In my darkest hours or when my life was destroyed by a manic episode at least I knew I still had talent for the piano and that could not be taken away from me. I managed to get a degree in music which was actually in jazz but now I tend to play classical and I compose classically but rarely sticking to old traditions. I am eager to hear from people who compose and who have bipolar. I am not sure that bipolar has helped my creative process or not really. I think it has as I have been through so much and experienced the sadness and joys of life to such an extreme that when they are emanated in music the experience of music may seem even more vivid and moving than that if I hadn't. Maybe having bipolar isn't such a bad thing. People feel sorry for you and label it as an illness but i see it as riding storms and seeing sunsets that perhaps the average person may never see.

Anonymous's picture

That's amazing; I was also

That's amazing; I was also diagnosed with bipolar II along with schizoaffective disorder. I actually have perfect pitch; I can actually play music by ear without even looking at the page. I'm trying to understand the intricacies of composition alongside this; I aspire to study music theory as well as learning to play guitar. I can completely relate to you with regard to the medication; I was prescribed anti-psychotics for my manic phases, in which I would run around in the dead of night because of my insomnia. I hated the insomnia; it was like a force that kept eating me. At first, I loved it, because I would have this constant influx of emotion and creative energy, and this amazing stamina...But at the culmination of all that, I crashed. I had no motivation to do anything. I felt that after three weeks of not sleeping, I felt that I had really forfeited my life, and my sanity. Or the residual amounts of it that I had left...But the weirdest thing was I started hallucinating. I mean, fuck...full-blown hallucinations. Started seein' spiders crawling up my arm; started seeing like a montage of all the scenes of my life flashing before me. I mean, damn...that shit was insane. And soon after, I was checked into a hospital, so I'm better now. I've been remitted, and although I'm back on my feet, I still feel like the medication just utterly mitigated my creative motivation. I'm slowly regaining that drive, but it's gradually coming back....I just wanted to let you know that you aren't in this alone; if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to drop me a line. And I'd love to hear some of your piano pieces sometime....Listen, I'm here for ya; don't let those medications impede your ideations. I know that your creative resilience will catalyze your creative output. Just let me know how it goes...

By the way, I love your Dave Matthews lyrics. Those are one of my favorite lyrics of his...

DJ's picture

Thanks - Very informative.

Hi,

My wife is BP1, rapid cycling with mixed episodes. She was diagnosed about 18 months ago and has just recently become stable on her meds. She would become hyper manic, and could swing twice in a single day. She is a very rapid cycler.

Anyway, Thanks for the info!

Derek
BPBabble.com

Anonymous's picture

okay im about to be 15 but

okay im about to be 15 but have been diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder. its genetic apparently. i've been on drugs, attempted suicide, been in a MI for treatement, i'm in stress, depression and anger management. i'm in DSS but i really dont wanna get any more meds but i think i'm gonna kill myself... what do i do

azureone's picture

Hang on

i have BP too. i tried to kill myself a couple of times. i am lucky that i failed (seriously). when i was depressed and suicidal i looked to suicide for relief - I felt like hope was physically ripped out of me and the hole left behind wouldn't heal - no relief, no way out. I didn't want to die. I liked life. I just needed relief.

It sounds like you are in tons of groups - I don't even know what half of them mean. Seems ridiculous that you would have to go to stress, depression and anger group - seriously?? Of course you are depressed, stressed and angry - it sounds like you have people all over you telling you what to do. Since you are 15 you probably are forced into all of that nonsense. I suggest you keep a sense of humour about it and don't make waves in the groups. If you are 'well behaved" you will be let alone a bit more. Do you like your doctor? What drugs are you on?

I think the best thing you can do at the moment is to do some small thing for your self - computers/music/writing/drawing/just chilling/etc. If you can you should set aside some time even if it is 10 minutes for you to do whatever you want to do.

One last thought - I hated being 15 - maybe its the BP maybe it is just a sucky year BUT you are more than just 15 - make and keep a safe space and a bit of time for you (your soul/thoughts etc). You do have strength in you - take time to check it out. You will need to follow a bunch of groups and orders for the time being but you always have your inner place and very very soon you will be able to move your life in the direction you want. i hope you come back to this place so we can talk more.

GQman's picture

Try to have fun

Find a new hobby.
Hang out with your best friend, if you don't have one get a pet, like a puppy.
Play your favorite songs as lould as you can, but be respective to your household.
Do something you would'nt normally do, like taking a stroll around the neighborhood, build a craft out of tooth picks, popsickle sticks, or a deck of cards.
Go see a new exciting movie/s, maybe with a boy/girl friend.
Play your favorite sport with someone or by yourself.
Solve a puzzle.
Kill some ants
Buy a new video game, or just any game you would prefer to play.
Work out, or go to the pool.
Eat your favorite food (please don't splurg).
Read a good poem, or write your own.
OR try anything else that you feel suits your feeling of happiness.

Anonymous's picture

find your way

Im 20 and bipolar. Accept yourself, and you'll do great things, love yourself and others. Its that simple. Just be, stop thinking about social norms.

Ups and downs, downs and ups. Take time for Yourself and maybe you'll find your way. No you will find your way. there is no question in my mind but the infinite amount of possibilities that lie within each one of us. learn to love yourself and learn to love what you love who you love, love love.

- The Soothe Sayer

Anonymous's picture

I hate this damn disease. I

I hate this damn disease. I want to die. The imperfect mind in this light is horrible to live with.

phil's picture

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP

many years ago people started telling me that there was something wrong with me but what i have realized is that it wasnt me it was them and their systems they want to fit everyone into these neat little easy to manage holes and they dont realy know what to do when someone doesnt fit into what they think we should be or how we should act. I have spent the better part of my life trying to fix something that was percieved to be broken and no matter what i did i could not create the reality that the people around me had been able to create with apparent ease. people started telling me that at times i ran circles around my peers and they didnt understand why other times i was disinterested in everything and didnt seem to apply myself so after this conversation became the norm i would take more of a part time aproach to life and would focus on those short bursts of drive to create financial stability and didnt have a regular job because it was to frustrating. this is very sad and i empathize with the children that are as we speak being told that they are broken and not as good as the other children because they cant focus on things that they have already learned but for the benefit of the rest of the children that are not learning disabled they are repeated over and over again does this seem a little backwards to anyone else my life has been a mess for a long time and it has been hard for me to understand that just because my brain was better able to retain and process information that didnt mean that i was disabled it just means that i need to be more proactive about keeping myself stimulated mentally so that boredom didnt rule my life. for the longest time i would tear my life apart just so that i could put it back toghether again. boredom is my nemesis and i have a hard time keeping myself from going down that road so i work on solving problems that everybody else seems to be baffled by but for the most part it is pretty unfulfilling and leads to frustration because nobody realy seems to be interested in anything but personal drama most people that i know live in a very two dimensional world where they are blind to every thing around them and i feel quite isolated at times because i love to theorize in conversations to give myself a little mental exercise and also people can be very interesting at times but not very many people like to have those kind of conversations and would rather play silly games wich are not very interesting at all and are very shallow.I feel stuck because i have so many amazing ideas that are very motivating to me because they are so interesting but because i was labeled as having a learning disabilitey i never furthered my education in a tradditional way and because of that i lack the credability to be taken seriously by the time i realized that this was a problem i realized that there was not any one thing that i wanted to be educated on and turn into a career I just want to be able to learn for the sake of learning and take classes based on my own personal development i know that sound a bit flighty but my mind is full of information that is not very useful people often tease me and say that i am like a human encyclopedia because i seem to know allot about things that most people don't understand because if i read about something even once it is in my mind forever and as i was saying earlier it is hard work keeping my mind stimulated i probably read eight or nine books a week and i am not very big into fiction most of the books i read are books that most people would never even consider reading because they are of a more informational nature. my point is that my mind doesn't like the repetitious nature of the job market it just doesn't make any sense to devote my life to making money its just not that hard and as i have expressed i get bored very easily why go to school for six to eight years so that i can get a job making 60-100k per year when i make allot more than that right now in my spare time i just want to be around like minded people that are not afraid to look at things in a different way because going to work every day to a job that just barely pays the bills is just crazy and most people are under the impression that what you do for money should be a big part of who you are and that is just crazy talk its just money.It is my belief that society plays a big role in defining the bipolar factor as a disadvantage instead of looking at it for what it is just different. I agree with one of the other posts that said in whole we focus on the norm and constantly compare ourselves with the our neighbors and in my opinion all that does is steal the beauty from our lives and makes us focus so much on our perfect destination that we become insatiable and this leads to unhappiness because if we cant appreciate what we have how will getting more solve this problem. for most of my life all i wanted is to be normal and to have a normal life after reading most of the comments on this site i realized that i wasnt alone what i want to communicate is the error in that line of thought we are not normal we have the potential to be exceptional but first we need to shrug off the labels that we have placed on ourselves because of our insecurities and focus on what we can do and stop putting emphasis on our differences. I have a very good friend that has helped me see things more clearly the advantage of being bipolar he is the poster boy for the social norm and we have spoken many times at length and one day i was having a rough time dealing with the depressive end of the spectrum and he explained that he had a hard time understanding because as he went on to explain for him the difference between a good day and a bad day was very small it became a bad day when something happened that he had not planned for and forced him to adjust his routine this helped me to understand that i am very lucky to be able to see the world in such contrast every day of my life is unique and i see things that most people don't in my opinion this is a gift sometimes it doesn't feel like it but the experience is all in the interpretation looking at the life of someone who is bipolar compared to someone who is not is a complete waste of energy that is like comparing cows and chickens we are very different in many ways and based on the limited understanding science has about the human brain i think we should not jump to conclusions and label people we are looking for a cure for something that we don't even really understand we are focusing on fixing something that might not be broken to begin with. Based on the research that i have done informally I am more inclined to believe that sociological factors play a much larger role in someones ability to live a productive life than biochemical factors. We can't walk a mile in someones shoes so why are we expected to live our lives in the same manner we need to take the "should" out of our lives and replace it with what if for every so called fact the scientific community gives us the only real fact is that they are almost always eventually replaced with another fact things were so much more simple when the world was flat dont you think but then someone had the crazy idea that it wasn't and somehow got people to believe him and here we are whats up with that? I hope that this post is helpfull even if it only lets you know you are not the only "crazy "person out there.remember to try and put a positive spin on life its not that bad its just life.

Serendip Visitor's picture

I have felt your pain and

I have felt your pain and will tell you that i am also very frustrated with the way my mind works compared to the norm what i have found is that if you seek validation from the so called norm this will continue.I am tolerated by my peers because on occasion they can partially comprehend what i am talking about and they use words like brilliant the funny thing is that when they dont they use words like eccentric or crazy and this goes on and on. my point is that if people dont understand you will be labeled and deemed unfit. what i do know is that similar to many BP people i have a very high IQ and what i have realized is that most people dont and have a hard time understanding thing that are not obvious and applicable to their current situation so if you take someone with a high IQ and you supercharge their brain with a manic state chances are that unless your doing a workshop for NASA people are going to think your nuts so my advice to you is to keep a journal and use this to get out of your head because that is not somewhere you should be by yourself for long periods of time and when if you feel the need to share your ideas with someone still try drawing them a picture use crayons they like the pretty colors and that should capture their attention. Good luck with that.

azureone's picture

Kick its ass!

I hate BP. It has taken away so many thing too many to even count...i would never in a million years have guessed that this is where i would end up at 36...but here i am...I did try suicide once but failed (I am very thankful for that now)

You sound like you are ashamed of yourself, of your mind, your disease. When I feel ashamed I freeze at the horror of it and stop speaking up for myself. I become silent and paralyzed. I wish hospital workers and doctors could somehow feel the relentless agony of shame - the shame they inflict on their patients. What makes me very angry is that if you manage to fight the shame and do speak up you are even more screwed. Then you are raving, uncooperative. Yup. They definitely pull a big mind F@#^!

BUT (yes the big BUT)

They are wrong (and looking at it objectively Whose brains are really deranged and evil?

So you will always have BP - but you are not BP it is just a part of you. Why do you thing your mind is imperfect? Scientists don't even really know how the brain works let alone what a perfect brain might look like. What scientists do know is that people with BP tend to be innovative, creative, perhaps even famous for their flights of fancy. Sadly we happen to live in a time that is very obsessed with being the same - "keeping up with the jones." On top of that creativity is not as prized or supported (canceling music and art in schools). Funny thing about our time is that I sometimes feel the most normal compared to people I see on Maury's show or any number of other bizarre shows.

I don't think your brain (or my brain for that matter) is imperfect. It is unique - which means is special to us and it means that it can be amazing and can also be a traitor.

There is a quote that I like - you might like it too:

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
Henry David Thoreau

So what do you think? Are you really done with life? Don't let BP win and scare you into jumping off. Hate it with everything you have! Kick its ass! Oh Yeah!

Anonymous's picture

Don't think of it as "the

Don't think of it as "the imperfect mind", but rather the extended mind. im14 and have all the symptoms of bipolar. but im too afraid to go to the doctor to confirm.
but look at it in this light:
whereas normal minds see things w/ limits, our awareness is heightened. even tho when i come down 2 dppression, i want to die too, im treading water all the time except its thick and dark and slow and its like u cant move and u cant get out.
but when tht phase ends, i am amazed at how even in tht dark i can think of things like tht.
i agree with the article 100%. iv found tht the imagination is the minds best comfort and cure

Anonymous's picture

Bipolar disorder

Just don't even talk about killing yourself. That's your mind off on it's own. The point about living with this "disease" is to recognize that impulses/feelings are not facts. Use your feelings and creativity to your advantage. When in doubt, use your brain, just think about things as logically as possible and make a decision without emotion involved. I am 42 years old, rather succesful, traveled everywhere, and have lived at least 3 lifetimes past the herd. (I have the best stories...) If given the choice between having the "disease" or not, I would choose to have it. However, it really sucks at 15. I truly know: no one diagnosed it back then... Best advice I can give (which may not work for you): figure out what you like to do, work hard, make it your career, and when in doubt, THINK. Having a bunch of ideas is easy; deploying or rejecting them requires discpline. Have fun doing it! (And do yoga- it really works.)

Anonymous's picture

Biopolar

but it`s soooooooo hard.
even harder if you have a creative, imaginative, artistic nature.
The thing is I`ve already figured out what I want to do , I tend to work hard on it.Yes,I think like this, then suddenly everything I want seems unrealistic and I became weak....Then I wake up next morning and I think I can make it!!!
I cannot tell you how many times I had thoughts about dying, killing myself, on the other hand I do think it`s so selfish and I would probably regret it.
It not easy to live with this.I am strange.My friend said: "You cannot decide, you are strange".
Once I am the most creative, most energetic, talented person who has wonderful ideas for the future regarding job and career,a leader, the other day I feel like everything I want it`s not possible to achieve it and I feel weak.It`s like I have two personalities.
I am someone who cannot easily give up, whatever it is, and is purley bacause I go for everything with passion and full of enthusiasm.
People cannot imagine that I have negative thougts, not at all.
Someone said once: "You are a fabuolusly positive person and you will shine wathever you do in your life" Because that`s me.But the Biopolar person is me too.
A mental ill, a negative, depressed person....
What I am doing now??Nothing, just look out of my head because i am bored, feel nothing, feeling demotivated.And what i should do is learning for a job interview...and i don`t do it.
something is not really ok in my brain and i did things which are not bad, but 99% of people would not do it bacause it`s cross the line.
Anyway, hope I will be ok by tomorrow.
Does really eating fish helps???
or running.swimming.....
I have always lloved excersising, but recently I am not regular with them and I eat chocolate a lot.

cory's picture

what helps with bipolar

I totally agree with you on the point of yoga (and meditation) you are exactly right when you say ideas are easy to come by, but picking out the "wheat from the chaff" takes discipline... its true. I am bipolar and i am in neuroscience right now at dalhousie university in halifax nova scotia and i was diagnosed really young as well. We studied the diagnostical and statistical manual (dsm lV) extensively so i feel i have the experience and "book knowledge" on bipolar and i think these are very good messages to expres to other bipolar people. My only problem with the dsm is that it treats psychopathologies as discrete, separable conditions whereas i tend to think that they are more related than that, on more of a continuum rather than totally different diseases. Trying to take diseases and a variable behaviour in people and trying to systematically categorize it is dangerous in my opnion because it denigrates the etiology of the condition and subesequently the treatment as well.

Anonymous's picture

read "telling yourself the

read "telling yourself the truth" and "SOS for emotions" and take control. it is in your power deep down you know you hate feeling like this and this is how to change. also deep breath excersize, SUNSHINE lots of it and alot of omega 3 foods like almonds walnut etc. also bread and other "feel good carb food without prossesed sugar God bless you this helps me