Identity

I have always been interested in feminism but I realize now that I had no idea about what feminism was until this class. It’s odd to look back at the first couple of weeks and remember how confused and nervous I was about learning new terms. Things like the gender binary and intersectionality.  Looking back at my old writings I think that I am more honest and truthful about what I believe in my posts now. I was very worried the first couple of weeks about staying on topic and I used to get very nervous about that. After the discussion about not being afraid to speak or share our opinions that the class had during the middle of the semester I tried to be more open and honest with my writing and thoughts. I did not expect that I would go on such a personal journey during this class and it has been a very rewarding experience.

            It’s a little hard to judge my own performance in class. I set a goal to speak at least once during each class and I did manage to achieve that in almost every class.  While I know that compared to others in class this was a lot less than others it was more than I speak normally so I was happy in the sense that in the end I essentially did manage to speak at least once per class.  I have found this class to be challenging but it was good for me. I was on a gap year last year so I was worried about coming back to take a hard English class might be too much for me. I felt very out of practice in the beginning coming back to academic discussion and writings but because it had Serendip as a complement I think that it has helped me get back into the swing of things.

            I wrote more comments to posts than make my own posts. During the week I would jot down my thoughts and when I would write my posts over the weekend I would check to see if anyone had a similar idea to me so that instead of having a lot of single posts there could be more discussions. I wanted to contribute to discussions on Serendip of topics I had not talked about during class. In the beginning when I was making my posts they were closer to what we had discussed in class. As the class progressed I ventured out and tried to talk things that were not discussed yet.

            I felt that I made the most contributions during small groups. I felt the most comfortable in that environment. I don’t think I was ever able to speak in the big group the way I did in the small groups.  I’ve always had an issue with open forum type conversations so even when I spoke it never translated the way I wanted it to. I do feel that I made some good contributions during the times we had small groups.

            I feel that my writing in the weekly posts has improved as the semester went on. I was someone who didn’t speak alot in class so I always wanted to make sure I had something to contribute on time to the discussion. I spent a lot of time and thought about my web events but they oddly went from my best one being first and my worst one being last. I did not have an issue with my writing as much as with my thoughts became less concise and clear as the semester went along. I just think that I became less concise and clear as the semester went along.  I liked the ideas of what I was trying to convey but sometimes I just wasn’t as clear with my points as I could be.

            One of the main things that I’m taking out of the class is that it is important to speak even if your scared to speak or don’t know entirely what to say. At first in the class I was intimidated to speak because I felt that I didn’t understand the terms well enough but looking back I wish I would have been okay with that and spoken up a lot more.

            Overall I’m not sure how my performance or my contribution to the class has come off.  I really cared about the class and tried very hard to always be prepared but because I would only speak once or twice during class that may have not come across very well. I know that I should of spoken more and it was something that I did try to do.  I really enjoyed the discussions, in serendip, in the big groups and small groups.  Personally I feel that this class has been a journey for me and I’m sure others have had similar experiences. I had no idea when I started this class how much it was going to affect me personally. There are some theorists and terms that I can’t imagine not of knowing now. This has been the most rewarding class for me at Bryn Mawr.

I used to say in high school that I felt I couldn’t discuss the tenants of my religion because I was still solidifying my own beliefs, I’m finally discussing it. At least I cleared that hurdle.