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My Avatar

samuel.terry's picture

When contemplating the image I wanted for my avatar the first thing I knew beyond a doubt was that it was not going to be a picture of myself. I hate pictures, in fact I resist them at all costs. If by some misfortune I find myself the subject of one I never know what to do, do I smile? teeth or no teeth? Is my hair alright? where do my hands go? should I stand closer to this person next to me? Do I look sufficiently happy? Do I pass as male? I have discovered, especially in college, that in an age obsessed with capturing "moments" my aversion to pictures is not always practical. I mean it didn't happen if you can't see it on facebook, right? But I digress. The image I chose instead I did so because it reminds me of a quote I have forever captured on my body: luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. For me, this avatar and the tatoo it accompanies are a constant reminder that our bodies--the physical matter-- are just vessels for the light that is inherent in us all. It is through this idea that I have come to terms with a lot of internal and external revulsion-- and the violence that can accompany such revulsion--that has been associated with my body and bodies like mine.