Lonely Madness: The Effects of Solitary Confinement and Social Isolation on Mental and Emotional Health

The majority of my life has been spent alone. I was born into an abusive household, never knew positive reinforcement. I Grew up going out and playing by-myself, I loved school cause I got to hang out and play with kids my age tho I wasn't really popular, but better then nothing hah. Friends came and went (including myself moving states a lot). So by this point I still haven't built a bond or close relationship with anyone including anyone in my family. Everything was about hiding secrets (hiding my bruises I got from home, hiding the tears from being practically molested, hiding my bad grades, hiding a knife under my bed just in case if things got really out of hand) my dad finally left at 7 so the abuse stopped but my mom went crazy and tried to kill me. I became a pretty bad kid taking out all my frustrations with serious crimes and only became worse as a young adult stealing, vandalizing, burglary, robbery, assaults, but eventually was caught and did my time. When I got out I really got myself together. I had no friends at this point and the whole family shunned me. As I spend my free time going out and hanging out by-myself I met a girl, I ate next to her and we hit it off, as I got to know her I began opening up and she understood, didn't judge or call me anything... eventually we fell for each-other (she also was born into an abusive household) the first time in my life I felt close to someone and it was like all my pain just vanished when I heard her voice. 2 years in she became my fiance and she was pregnant, I was scared and shocked at first but I knew I loved her and it would be the perfect time to raise our boy with the love and compassion we never had and at that moment I had something to live for someone one or 2 :) no more suicidal thoughts, anger problems, I was truly happy finally. One afternoon I got a call, Jane was in ATL on business, she was in the hospital, she fainted, fading in and out, I freaked out but remained calm... until I got another call... it wasn't Jane but the hospital she was in... She died along with our son. I lost it breaking doors down slamming my head just went crazy we had our whole lives ahead of us and I was going to be a father. I tried to continue work but It really affected me and my performance, I was eventually laid off and back to the bottom it was from me. I moved, found work and tried to stabilize things, I'm 23 now, no friends, no family, no Jane. Today I live alone on the outskirts of LA the loneliest I've ever felt in my whole life, severe depression, tried to kill myself but didn't go as planned. I tried to start a social life since I got out of high school but to no avail. been 5 years since I've had someone to talk to, 3 years since I lost the family I made and the only thing that keeps me from putting a 45in my head is making music, I express myself through music and art and for some reason its kept me around this long. I feel as if I have lost a fair amount of sanity, I talk to regular so I don't feel alone. I kinda had a nervous break down again which is why I searched and found this page, I just want answers, and my apologies for writing such a lengthy reply I feel kinda good letting this out tho.

Its a challenge when you literately feel like ghost walking among mankind, sometimes I do have to ask myself If I even do exist. I used to think I could get by fine being alone, but so many years of isolation, having no one to lean on talk to it can be quite dehumanizing. I do believe there is hope for all of us, I dream of being in love again, having real friends to talk to, to share my music, no more, I don't care about money, fame, power. 2 me life is about the teachings you leave behind, the people you affect, those things that can last forever as will my love for my Jane and Jr

Graduation was June 6th, 2011. All I'm doing now is staying in the house all day, everyday. I absolutely hate it. My mother passed away in February, so therefore, there's no one to talk to or go out with. My dad is gone most of the day because of his job. I don't care to do anything with him the days he's off just because... we've never had the best relationship. An argument is probably guaranteed to ensue sooner or later. I can't take this anymore. I'm almost to the point right now where as I'm typing this, I feel like crying. This is ridiculous. I should be out having a life like a regular 18 year old. All of my friends are in college, so there goes my social life. I just want to escape from this hell to have fun, and by that, I mean leaving the state and going somewhere else to enjoy my life. I need it, badly. I think it's definitely safe to say that I'm truly going through lonely madness.

I am experiencing such terrible symtoms from being slowly isolated over the past 8 years; Not only the anxiety, no sleep, crying jags, but now I have ear nerve damage, speech problems, confusion, no confidence, paranoid in situations; I used to be the biggest social butterfly ever! Then I found myself having to care for my elderly parents. Slowly my friends drifted away from me and my new situation. My parents, I might add, were abusive to me(as a child, and adult). Mother passed away in March. I'm still tending to my narsissistic dad and I might add, he is presently my only source of having any social life whatsoever. My husband is not, nor has never been a talker, nor does he enjoy any social activities. I feel I'm losing my mind. Harming myself is becoming a daily thought. I do have a brother and sister; but they live in other states, and frankly don't want anything to do with the crap I've had to deal with in caring for our parents......they don't even want to talk about it.
Alone, depressed but hopful for help.

I think you really need to study other groups like People with Disabilities and Seniors who live in Isolation, not simply the Prison Population.

I also think you need to consider the possibility of what your describing as "mental/emotional breakdown," to be actually something closer to perhaps different parts of the brains coming into use, and other parts, such as the parts that deal with social interaction being used less.

Have you ever read "Man's Search For Meaning," by Viktor Frankl about life in a Holocaust Camp. One of the things he mentions is that the people who were able to survive, not just physically, but mentally, were people who were already used to living in their minds, already had become used to using their imaginations, disconnecting or dissassociating from their bodies, etc.

As a woman with chronic illness, who now has a dog, but otherwise, at times can go weeks without seeing another person, aside from at the grocery store, I exhibit many of the things you mention: anxiety, technical definitions of "depression," (except that I don't actually feel hopeless and do many things, including painting, artwork, that connects me into the world) and so forth. I deal with many of the realities of true social isolation. (And with respect, "solitude," is NOT Social Isolation. Nor is lonliness Social Isolation. Lonliness is a feeling, one can feel lonely in a room full of 500 people. Social Isolation is measureable, how many people do you see in a week, how many times do you go out of the house, etc.,)

Dealing with people, going to events etc. becomes extremely difficult very quickly, and I really believe it's because the brain actually shifts into using different parts of itself. That there are mechanisms that are built into the human brain to deal with Social Isolation, even though, human beings are social beings, "pack animals," so to speak. I feel that the problems with Social Anxiety, etc. I have, are because I've lost those mental muscles, and I now use "Social Buddies," in social situations, who help me feel safe, who I can turn to and say, "I'm feeling overwhelmed," without fear of social rejection, judgement, etc. and this really helps with the anxiety, takes the pressure off, having someone there who doesn't expect me to simply be able to function like people who are used to being around people all the time.

Yes, I think we do go through a certain kind of "break down," but I'm not sure it's abnormal, I think it's a shift in brain activity, almost like going through withdrawal of society, and then, once you're used to the isolation, one has to slowly, be re-introduced, almost re-socialized in order to function. Because it's just too much. Being in a room for ten people I volunteer with, for two hours, discussing issues, absolutely exhausts me, and overstimulates me for like 10 hours afterwards, simply because my system is no longer used to it. The more I do it, the less threatening and frightening it becomes, because it's like my central nervous system and my brain is starting to use muscles or aspects it needs to function within a social environment.

In many ways being a PWD with illness that leaves you severely isolated, is in many ways like being in prison, except that I'm not institutionalized, someone else doesn't decide what I eat, when I eat, when I go to the washroom, etc. Yes, I go through periods of feeling afraid to go out of the house, and at those times, I have to push myself, and getting the dog helped force me out of the house. But it's more a fear of simply feeling like I don't know HOW to function in that reality, codes of conduct, appropriate social judgement, its like if you don't use it, it gets rusty, it's like losing muscle memory and having to retrain the muscles to remember how to work once again.

I really don't think it IS a "breakdown,' in how your describing it, I think, if you were able to study the brains reactions to social isolation, we might see that the majority of human beings brains reacted the same way, that the anxiety and depression was no different then anxiety and depression one goes through when withdrawing from a drug, and that the brain then many times, not always, readjusts. I think we really need to understand what is NORMAL human functioning when without other humans around, in a socially isolated state. I think the problem is, we haven't bothered to find out how a healthy, neuro typical brains, respond to isolation, and we're comparing how it functions within isolation to how it functions within a group dynamic. That's kind of like saying that when our pupils get smaller, etc. due to no light that our eyes are breaking down, because they aren't functioning in the same way as when they are in full sunshine. But our eyes are made to adjust to changes in our environment, and I think our brain is too.

I think we need to know what is normal brain functioning within an isolated environment before we can really understand whether a person is functioning normally or breaking down.

In actual institutions, it's different, because as you point out, it's not simply a loss of people, of human and social contact, it's a loss of freedom, a loss of control, a loss of choice. Thats a fundemental difference then what many PWD and Seniors who remain in control of their basic choices of what to eat, when, how much, etc. experience. They haven't lost freedom, just people. I think in some areas it IS similiar to prison and holocaust/concentration camps, but in other ways, Social Isolation is very different. One can lose freedom, as in a concentration camp, but not be socially isolated, still have much, at times too much contact with other human beings, where one of the freedoms you've lost, is the freedom to get away, the freedom to choose solitude.

In the prisons where you lose both freedom, control AND people, where you're locked down 23 hours out of 24, well, to me it seems obvious that the human brain is going to move into a different functional mode, in order to survive that reality. In essence, it's going to lose its humanity, move into its secondary, animal brain, start acting like a caged animal, which is functionally speaking, what it is. There's no reason for personhood in that kind of environment I would think.....

We need to know what IS mentally healthy behavior, in socially isolated situations, VS mentally healthy behavior in regular social situations, vs mentally healthy behavior, in hyper socialized situations, where you literally have no ability to get away from people, 24/7. Only once we know what the typical brain functioning for the majority of human beings are, in these very different realities, can we then figure out if they are experience mental health or mental illness.

Or seemed to. I used to have many close friends and loved being around people. But one by one, I realized many of my friends were not worthy of my time or trust. When I met my fiance, my world revolved around him. No one else mattered. And then, he met someone else. The friends were already gone. So when I lost him, the phone stopped ringing and my world became very quiet. My family is busy. My friends are gone. I'm not living in the same city, and keeping in touch is difficult. Facebook is helpful to an extent, but it does not take the place of an actual conversation and time shared with someone. Making new friends is not as easy as it used to be, due to where I live now. They say it's harder when you get older. I'm in my 30's now. What's going to happen in the future if this is how my life is now? I fill my world with music, learning, exercise and projects to keep me busy. But I'm really very sad. This is not like me. I feel like social isolation is making me mentally ill.

Jakems666 , I totally feel what u r going through. I am always around people yet always isolated because i dont fit in . i have always been the black sheep at home and now the outcast at work. I wish i knew what i was doing wrong to never to fit in . recently i have only been speaking strictly business matters and nothing else about feelings, life etc. because i cant trust anyone. it hurts. i sit and cry at home and at work in front of my co workers because i cant hold back the tears any longer.i often imagine myself poisoning my co workers who gossip and gang up against me but i am too scared of karma to do it. instead i prayer everyday and ask God to get me out of this prison and carry me where all the real humans live. i hope God exist to hear my prayers .

Very interesting article. I, being a very sociable person, had an interest in the affects of solitary confinement when I spent some time without being able to speak to close friends, my neighbors were unfriendly, & the situation saddened me quite a bit. I was in pure agony about my choice to move where I did, in the first place. I felt that isolation was devastating. Twitter helped me to feel a lot better.

your effects that are similar to mine. but heres my story, it's been about 3 years I've been single and i adjusted to life living alone, i live in the city. ever since then i couldn't really keep a job because i was so Dependant on staying at home. i enjoyed the home life when it was just me, i was a little bit outgoing and drank alot with friends. then, it wasn't until 2-3 days ago where i have gotten so drunk my mind disappeared and i woke up in the city cells for trying to fall asleep outside in the cold, where i could have died and not being living today, i sat in the cells for 12 hours until they finally let me out, but while i was sitting in there, i prayed to god and told him i'm going to quit drinking and make things better in my life. the first night i returned home, i couldn't stand being home alone, i needed somebody here to enjoy the social company. i faced a little bit of anxiety and i want to cure this. i'm currently looking for a job that works during the night so i at least talk to a co-worker or deal with peoples inquiries relating to the job i get. any suggestions or advice?

I have never known this feeling of isolation while I was living in an harmonious family of 11. We were all different but above all we were sensitive to one another.
But then, I started to see that people elsewhere were deploying a different mentality that was unknown to me back then. I have learn that many wants to go high in life resulting because of a strong force that is focused only on themselves. Even if inapparent, everything comes to conflict.
I found it so difficut to connect with a person that is superficial saying "hello" as an image of goodness. I found it difficult to connect with someone that is an "awaken" victim of reality. I found it difficult to connect when the only places to go is just bars or commercial settings so superficial settings that have the apparence of bringing the community together. I found it difficult to connect when someone try to guide us spiritually with their own comprehension of life or in the opposite, you just see them in ceremony and then they run away to their home like living in some kind of spiritual bubble. I found it to connect when you always do the first step and not the other who are waiting for other to come to them. I found it difficult to connect when I had to go through my personal experiences alone that often shook my world. I found it difficult to connect when everyone live in their bubble alone or through limited grouping. I found it difficult to connect when their is no sensitivity to my personality. I found it difficult to connect when everyone is fixated in some objectives they feel is important for their rise in the future. I found it difficult to connect when the setting is focused only economical goals, work (oddly the same ideal as capitalism). I found it difficult to connect when I feel that I am buried with cold material goods perhaps like cities making the same feeling as I was burried in a cold underground with no warm human emotions to feel. I found it difficult to connect when I am living in small villages where there is so few people it feel like walking in a desert. I feel it difficult to connect when using the computer and when coming to contact with people who wants to live virtual lives. I feel it difficult to connect when everyone is divided when you think that the earth is also so huge that it makes impossible to be with compatible person wherever they are on earth. I feel hard to connect when I do not feel this warmth, this love in the air. I feel disconnected when everyone is being carried away to build collectively a system, the same feeling as being caught in a hurricane carrying with force everyone in the direction it wants. I feel disconnected when we do not know the real difference between what is good and what is wrong since this mix makes someone impredictable. So overall, all these factors sounds like the reality of hell with the increase of pressure and fire. It took me this experience to understand that all people who do not have a sense of what is really good for life, make our experience on earth a living hell beforehand. I felt that the effect of depression is exactly the same as being tortured in the flames of hell that was brought fourth by people who live intensively in illusion. How can we build a life in hell? It is impossible because of the widespread disorder.
So I found after being so fulfilled in my family, that even if you flee in cities or town, you are caught in a perfect trap. You can either be detroyed quickly through cold fixated people living in their circle having their mind in the future or could be living in a place where there is no future and where people envy one another since above all, they have their mind in the poverty of their past so end up not being a source of energy for no one. So whatever you do, loneliness will destroy someone since it have much time in its hand to make someone spiralling down into what is bad.

It took me more than 4 years of study to come up with a diagnostic since I was also spiralling down and one major factor that contributed to this is loneliness and many other destructive pattern that choke together like a chain. So, I needed a time to heal. It becomes an awakening call when learning that I did not have an armour in life. I had the naive approach and because of it, I was a potential victim. There is hope but we need to see the reality of the world first through instruction which is the basic step to understand how life really work.