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The variety of topics here overwhelms me and frustrates me. I do not feel like we are getting deep into any topic. I do like the lively conversation going on in this class but that does not necessarily mean synergy. Our discussion is not focused enough to build toward something. There are a lot of ideas on the table but they do not seem to go anywhere. I like to have a focused theme and spend all my energy on it. I rather study one small book on education for the whole semester. A systematic thinking gives me the assurance that I actually do understand something at the end of the day. I was warned that "we don't know where we're gonna end up." But I did not know how much this method goes against how my mind works. Perhaps I've been too ingrained in my formal thinking. I enjoy intellectual wandering in class less than I used to. In travel, the virtue of losing oneself in a foreign city is often praised and romanticized. One discovers things that might otherwise be unknown to the travelers of well-beaten road. But that's when you don't have to attend a class, go to work, or find the right shop. While I enjoy the romanticism of not having a destination in mind, I still feel the logical imperative to construct a coherent narrative of the "romanticism", of the sense of "lost". I'm finding it hard to articulate all the ideas here into some kind of coherence. Maybe my brain will work it out somehow...