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1, 2)  While people might be aware of variances from the gender/sex dichotomy, the "standard" is this match-up of woman and vagina, man and penis. With it comes this concept that one cannot be a woman without being female, etc. A common first question to learning someone is transgender is, "So, have you had the surgery yet?" It's incomprehensible to so many people that one can be one and not the other. Even more incomprehensible is the concept of being outside the dichotomy completely... being transgender is something that is hard to get people to understand. Not only will assimilating to male or female allow others to understand the situation better, but it helps to validate the trans individual that they are, indeed, a part of their gender. If a transwoman is too masculine, or if a transman is too feminine, others may doubt whether they're truly of the gender they say. People will pressure the trans individual into assimilating because it makes identification and understanding so much easier for them. They try to "help" the trans individual fit in better, even if assimilation is not required or desired.

3) Passing is so important because it allows the world to see you in the same way that you see yourself. People judge others on a single glance and treat them according to that judgement, before even getting to know the other person. Passing allows for a harmony between mind and body.Yet, passing encourages the idea that it's deception, a contest - that to appear as the right gender means that you've "passed" the test. Or, if you pass flawlessly, yet others learn that you were not born as the gender you appear, that has been the basis for countless hate crimes, including rapes and murders.

And some questions for you, Alex:

1) How do you view being trans? Some see it as a mental issue, some see it as a physical issue, some see it just as a state of being, or as another gender, etc. What is your opinion?

2) As a child, were you encouraged to behave towards a certain gender? How much freedom did you have, in terms of what toys/friends you could play with, what activities you could do, etc? Was this a problem for you?

3) How important is being “stealth” to you?