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Multiple Personality Disorder
Biology 103
2002 First Paper
On Serendip
Multiple Personality Disorder
Diana La Femina
When you were growing up, did you have an imaginary friend? Did Mom and Dad have to set a place for Timmy at the table and serve him invisible food, or did all your aunts and uncles have to pet your imaginary puppy when the came over to the house? That's just pretend, though, kids having fun. So is a child pretending that they are someone else, forcing their parents to call them Spike, convinced they have a Harley even though they're only five. But what if this were an adult, someone who should "know better" convinced that they are someone else. If this were to happen, society would label them as crazy or delusional. Or, maybe, this adult suffers from a Multiple Personality Disorder.
Multiple Personality Disorder (or MPD) is a psychological disorder where a person possesses more than one developed personality. These personalities have their own way of thinking, feeling, and acting that may be completely different from what another personality is like (1). To be diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, at least two of the multiple personalities must dominate over the others on a slightly frequent basis (2). This results in an abrupt change in the way a person acts. Basically, they become another person in either an extreme or complete way (3).
MPD was first recognized in the late nineteenth century by Pierre Janet, a French physician. The disorder was later brought more to public awareness by The Three Faces of Eve (1957), a movie based on the true story of a pristine housewife who was diagnosed with MPD when she couldn't explain why she would suddenly become a very sexual person and not remember it. The eighties and the nineties brought on what was seen as an over diagnosis of MPD (1).
MPD is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) in the psychiatric world (1). The reason for this change of label is that the term "multiple personalities" can be misleading (4). A person with MPD/DID is one person with separate parts autonomously comprising their mind . They are NOT many people sharing one body (5). Although it seems as though these "personalities" seem to be very different, it is important to understand that they are separate parts of the SAME person (4). It is not correct to say that someone with MPD/DID has "split personalities" as this denotes schizophrenia. A person with schizophrenia does not have connected thoughts and feelings, they are "split" (1). A person with dissociation, however, has memories, actions, identities, etc., that are unconnected. Different thoughts and feelings may be connected, but different thoughts and different memories may be connected to some and not the others. Everyone experiences this once in a while. Daydreaming, getting lost in a book or a movie, zoning out, etc. These are all moments of dissociation (4). Just because someone has MPD/DID does not mean they can not function in everyday life (2). Indeed, they usually have this disorder so that they CAN function.
There have been as many as 20 personalities [perhaps even 37] that have been reported (3). About 1% of the population has some form of MPD/DID. In fact, of patients in psychiatric hospitals, possibly up to 20% have MPD/DID but are misdiagnosed. With these statistics, MPD/DID can be put into the same category as anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia as one of the major mental health problems at present (4).
Although the causes of MPD/DID are not completely understood it seems as if childhood neglect and abuse of some sort are the major causes (4). The abuse usually occurs early in life, before the age of nine, and is commonly repeated and prolonged (2). Due to this abuse, children may detach parts mind and create new personalities to separate themselves from their pain (3). After long term abuse, these new "personalities," this dissociation, may become second nature. These children may use this technique to separate themselves whenever they feel anxious or threatened. Due to it's ability to keep a sane, functioning part of a persons mind in tact when all else seems hopeless MPD/DID can be seen as a very effective escape technique (4). It is a very healthy, sane, and safe way for these people to survive an unhealthy situation (2).
MPD/DID can be treated. The first treatment usually used is psychotherapy, to try to help the person integrate the personalities more (1). After that medications, hypnotherapy, and adjunctive therapies are also used. In fact, if treatment is started and completed, MPD/DID may have the best prognosis of any disorder (6).
Everyone has different facets to their own personalities. Without this fact we would not be the complex beings that we are. A person with MPD/DID, however, may have very distinct facets that work independently of one another, sometimes not even knowing that the others exist. These various facets work together to keep the person whole. MPD/DID is a highly evolved psychological survival technique that is not to be looked down upon. Without it, the people who "suffer" from it may not be able to function in everyday life as well as they do, if at all.
References
1)Infoplease Education Network, an interesting educational network with many resources
2)MPD/DID information site, Site put together by a lady with MPD/DID
3)Medical Index, interesting site with a great amount of information on many medical conditions
4)MPD/DID resource page, site with a lot of information on MPD/DID
5)The International Society for the Study of Dissociation, another site with a lot of information on MPD/DID
6)Sidran Institute of Traumatic Stress Education & Advocacy, site with abundant information and resources to traumatic disorders and treatment
Comments made prior to 2007
I am a 29 year old woman. I am bi-polar Manic Depressive. I have 2 personalities that i know so far. on the night of 19 of May, I encountered a personality that is know as "Unknown". It was out for a breif 10 minutes, but after it had come out i had 3 scratches on my left wrist. They started out what looked like welts and turned into scratch marks. i don't understand left completly confused and mentally scared ... Jennifer Mills, 23 May 2007
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Comments
Can someone help me? Or even just explain a little bit?
Lets start with this: i'm currently 17 and i currently have 8 "alters" who have been with me for about 9 to 10 years, but have been more active for the last 3 to 5. They arent the same as me and it feels like they are completely seperate people from me. I can kind of see them in my minds eye, they have different appearances, likes and dislikes, and even different and conflicting likes and dislikes of food.(one or two like seafood, and i cant stand it, that kind of thing)
Possible Trigger Warning, proceed with caution:
TRAUMA:
At ages 2-4, whenever i cried or did anything that annoyed him or he didnt like, my brothers dad (same mom, different dads) would stick me under ice cold water in the shower and hold me there, he would scream in my face and hit me, and i dont know how many times i was sexually abused by him, at least 2 times that i remember (those memories surfaced at about 11). I dont know what some of the other things were that he did to me, but i know that there were more, my mom has told me about a few of the physical and emotional things he did. They got divorced and we moved to california when i was 3 and my brother was 2. I dont remember why, but for some reason my brother and i always had to fly by ourselves, and even though i didnt legally need to, i went with so my brother wouldnt be lonely and stuff. i stoppped going after we got back from His dads house in idaho and told my mom what had happened.
From age 3 to current, i have been emotionally abused by my grandparents, and from age 3 to about 13, they were also a little bit physically abusive. They bully me, and call me names, and telling me i'm a "worthless piece of s***" or "get your stupid worthless a** out here" are the most frequently used. Sometimes when she got really mad, my grandma would come at like shes going to hit me, just to scare me, or she would get right up in my face and slap me really hard across the face, chest, arms, or back multiple times really hard. (she doesnt anymore). My grandpa still gets up in my face if he doesnt like something i did for whatever "reason" he picked this time. Even though he's in his mid to late 70's, having a scruffy, 6'2" ex-marine bellowing 2 inches from your face is not exactly the most pleasant thing in the world, especially when he follows close behind if you try to get away.
-End of Trigger Warning-
ALTERS:
The only ones who know about my "alters" are my mom and my now ex, who left because of an "alter" i have called Vi (pronounced Vee, like the letter V) Speaking of which, these are my alters:
Vi- (Fem. 23) Very sexual, dangerous, psychotic, sadistic (is able to mentally overpower me and keep me in what i'm guessing is co-conscious? She keeps me in a spot where I am forced to watch her do whatever she wants in my body. Its unnerving to say the least.)
Dreya- (Fem. 24) Leader, protective, Level headed, works with James to overpower Vi, very masculine sense of style(kind of butch)
James- (Male. 27) Laid back, protective, pretty "Chill" for the most part, works with Dreya to overpower Vi
Annabelle- (Fem. 8) Dangerously submissive in general, (but also sexually), sexually abused, slightly masochistic, self harms, strong flinch reaction to quick movements (especially towards her) and jumps at loud noises.
Diana- (Fem. 19) Gets into a lot of fights, frequent relapsing bulimia, emotionally cold/numb, alcoholic, trouble understanding peoples intentions, gothic
Feral- (Unknown) Dire Wolf, sometimes comes out in fight/flight, primal, wild/animalistic
Jamie- (Fem. somewhere in her 20's) Popular girl attitude, super friendly, carefree, girly girl
POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING! Please Proceed With Caution!
(This warning only applies to the information on Maya.)
Maya- (Fem. [18+] specifics unknown) I dont really know anything about Maya. Sometimes she tells me to hurt other people or myself,(Ive never hurt anyone else, but i've struggled with self harm in the past. She mainly just a voice and a figure in my mind, she doesnt really come out anymore. When she used to take over, i would lose time, and come back with words carved deep into the skin on my thighs, stomach, and hips.)
-End of Trigger Warning-
NOTE: When i say Vi is psychotic, i mean psychotic as in planned to kidnap and do possibly life threatening and definitely abusive things to my then boyfriend (she didnt get the chance to, i broke it off and stayed away from people in general) To me, she seems like the criminals and killers you hear about on the news.
SWITCHING:
When i "switch" with my alters, most of the time i can see myself, like i'm standing next to, or floating above my body. other times i lose time in general. like one second im going to bed on a saturday, and then im walking to class thursday afternoon. This has happened, although rarely, but when i switch, its just pure inky black, i'm aware that time has passed, but not how much. When i am aware, i cant control my body, my voice, anything. i'm watching myself say and do things that i wouldn't or shouldn't be doing. Half of the time, the switches are automatic, or triggered by a sound, smell, etc. or by the atmosphere of the area i'm in. The other half of the time, they either ask to be let out, which i usually okay, or in Vi's case, push their way out whether they have my okay to do it or not. Whats really strange to me, is that sometimes, an alter gets pushed out when they arent a good match for that situation, and they cant get back in, and i cant get back out. For example, Annabelle might get pushed into a spot where say Dreya or James may have been better suited, and shes locked there until i can get back out somehow.
Also, whenever an alter is out, i have a notebook that we are all supposed to write in who was out, how long, what they did and said to people, and anything else that might be important, like jobs they did or important interactions they had. As for Vi, she doesn't cooperate no matter what I do, how much i compromise, or how much time she gets out. I am not really interested in integration. I would like to be able to work together to make a reasonably functional person or system that can participate in the world as normally as one can with this kind of stuff going on.
ALMOST DONE:
I dont know whats going on guys, and i'm scared. I dont know how to drive yet, i dont have the money to go to a specialist or even a decent psychologist, and my insurance is terrible. I just want some answers, I am not looking for a diagnosis. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and sorry that this post is so long. Any input helps.
Interesting
Dreya sent me the link. I mistakenly friended her on Facebook and she has kind of briefed me on it. As far as advice or explanations or anything of that sort, I won't be much help as I'm neither a professional nor in a similar position. However, I will express a few possible reasons why you could be in this situation, choose to believe what you will. 1) defense mechanism. Your brain has established a way to protect itself from the overwhelming experiences you've been subjected to. 2) multiple beings finding their way into the same body. Though I'm Christian, I still somehow believe that there may be more than one soul in a given shell (body). 3) depending on your level of belief or even o how plausible it sounds, demon possession/meddling. Coming from a Christian standpoint, you could potentially be a victim a game that the devil has decided to play. This isn't to say that any one of these alone is correct or that I expect you to believe that these are the only explanations. I am merely offering speculation, though any one of those may sound ridiculous.
Stuck with two?
I am a 21 year old girl now but...Well I was 3 when my mother was taken to prison and my father just seemed to disappear and I was send to my great grandmother (my mom's, dad's mother) to be raised. My older sister had been given the same kind of life. We did not share a father, only our mother and at the age of 3, she was also taken by a family member, (our mom's mom) to be raised. I was raised in a very abusive, verbally emotionally and physically, home where I was treated less than a dog. Literally. By the time I was six, I would often have bruises under my clothes that did not fit me from the fits of rage that my great grandmother had when she became drunk every night. I was often told I was worthless, ugly, pathetic, stupid, a failure and a waste of life. I kept nearly straight A's in school, was never in trouble, and often wouldn't even participate in any extra activities just so my great grandmother wouldn't have to drive to pick me up only 2 miles to school. She would often rub into my face that my mother was a drug addict and a whore and would tell me she sold my soul to the devil for drugs and that I would be just like her if I didn't shape up. But as far as I could see I did everything I could. She had large quantities of animals she couldn't care for, so I did for her. I could lift two 50lb feed bags on my shoulders and one in my arms when I was only 10. I fed her goats, chickens and horse every morning, cleaned up after her dogs and cats, fed her coy fish outside, in winter I would break ice and shovel feet on snow away and walk to the bus a half mile away. I was given no leisure except a bed that was too small for me and a few stuffed animals that I had begged to keep when she threw the others away. The worst part she remember none of it the next day, though she was normally quite cruel even without her drinks. She would cook pot roast for her dogs and drink until she would pass out but I was given very little. I would eat from the fruit trees in the woods (we lived on the side of a small mountain with few neighbors) and people even in school would try to give me food. I was undernourished, tired and became ill often though never taken to a doctor. No one ever tried to report it. I became sickly as I got older, anemic, I had pneumonia, under weight by 45lbs with arthritis at 12 years old from wounded joints, and a stomach that had shrunken so I could not eat an apple in one sitting comfortably. But I would not give up and though I felt the worst hatred for this woman who would do these things, I still saved her life 3 times, and tried to protect her from anything I could. I saved her by noticing the symptoms of her heart attack and talking the ambulance up the winding dirt road to find us, and when she fell and hit her head (twice) I was there to compress the wound and call the hospital and talk her through her confusion and pain. I was taken at 6 and 1/2 on a cross country journey with my father I barely knew and no one knew where I was. My mother who was now out of prison went to find him, with a horrible intent. I watched as my mother tried to kill my father when I was 7. I was covered in his blood when she missed his throat and hit his arm when he grabbed me as a shield. I had to stand in front of the judge to tell them since I was the only witness. I had to choose over my parents, I was smart, I knew either my mom would be gone forever or I believed my father would hate me forever. I did my choices, I went back to my great grandmother where I had been taken from. And was stuck again. But by the time I was 13, I realized something was very different about myself. I now know his as Elliot. I can put him out and I literally feel less physical pain and emotional. He takes the pain and fear away. I can use more physical strength and ignore the guilt and terror I would normally feel. He is my other half I call him and he is the only thing I have that I know no one can take away. We talk inside, if someone gives me problems he takes over with an attitude of viciousness that even scares me. But he isn't mean for no reason. He is fair and careful. All I wanted was to be protected by someone, to not have the people in my life leave that I love. Without even consciously knowing it, I created him, or as he says, 'woke him up' since he says we were born together. He gives me courage that I've never had. I don't care if this is read but, I felt like waking up and saying my piece.
I have 9 Alters
I have nine alters.
Jade- sexual
Dal- dark, cruel
Jackson- first alter, protector
Sally- energetic
Sadie- frustrated easily, bi-polar
Slade- sarcastic, straight-faced
U- Unknown, sarcastic, sassy, smart ass
Red- depressed
Host- me
Goldie- laughs at everything
I don't remember some stuff they do, but mostly they show themselves through emotions and body languages. When they come out I let all my breath go for a few seconds, almost looking like I'm dead, and then suddenly take a deep breath and I'm a different person. I haven't told my parents yet, but I have told them my symptoms, letting them figure it out for themselves. Can anyone give me some advice?
I only recently started to
I only recently started to learn about this, but I want you to know this is not your fault. It is a highly evolved intellectual coping mechanism which allows you to cope. Prognosis very good. Treat with therapy to introduce and integrate personalities. Eventually merging them. Please love yourself and rest well. Do nor take on too much in a day
MPD not a condition.
Hi,I study psychology. I am just an undergrad at this point, but from what I can gather multiple personality disorder is not a real medical condition. The symptoms many of you are describing are more closely related to dissociative personality disorder (DPD) and complex PTSD. It's also possible that many other disorders are comorbid, sharing the same clusters of symptoms with other disorders. Extreme alcohol dependency can have the same effects as (DPD) . A predisposition to alcohol dependency causes an individuals heart rate to raise abnormally when they drink, creating a feeling closer to taking a ton a coke rather than the slow sloppy feeling most people have when they"re drunk. This feeling creates a false sense of functioning while an individual is black out drunk, producing situations where an individual may, sleep with several partners, introduce themselves by different names, (especially if the people they drink with encourage it). A person doesn't have to drink for a long time to become alcohol dependent, the way your body reacts biologically as a mentioned before makes one predisposed to this behaviour. (BPD) is another possibility. Individuals who suffer from borderline personality disorder have high rates of childhood sexual abuse, causing them to split off leading to the conditions most prominent symptoms, to view things as either all bad or all good. Those are just a few possibilities. Im not suggesting that the symptoms people are feeling in this forum aren't real but that there are many different possibilities, I just mentioned a few. (DPD) does exist, although it is extremely rare. I suggest everyone writing in this forum see a specialist.
What is going on?
To be honest, I didn't think DID was an actual term, until I looked it up tonight. I thought I was always going to be this woman with "too much sexual frustration".
My alter is named Viva. She had multiple name changes before (charice, susan, etc...) and recently, she's been let loose and I have to pay the price for her wrecklessness. As me, I don't really care for sexual intercourse, especially meaningless, just because I can sex. The thought doesn't appeal to me. But, when Viva is triggered by so,e type of smell, a color, phrases, key words that have to do with sex and partyyjng, she gets out of control to the point where she will have a night filled with sexual partners and I'm left to figure out what happened, was protection used, and all that jazz,. It's as if I'm being taken out of the drivers seat and put in the passengers side, waiting for her to do what she has to do and let me take over.
As a child I was neglected emotionally by my father. Any extracurricular activity I wanted to do that wasn't academics was not supported by him. He often forgot to pick me up after school, always late taking me to places and appointments, always leaving my mom and I to do his own thing. We normally didn't spend time together as a mother, father and daughter on holidays because he wanted to stay in and be by himself. Growing up, I was kind to people. I was happy, but loved my me time. I was and still am an ambivert. I wanted to give people the time and listening ear that my dad never gave me. I was very open to learning new concepts and ideas. Sex didn't interest me, but I my earliest recollection of an explicit encounter would be me being 7 and or under and I looked at the Jet magazine's Jet Beauty of the week. All I could think about was her breasts and the way she looked naked. Time passed, and in middle school I had a pink diary. I had written in it that my "dad is dumber than a box of rocks and that I liked this boy Jacob and I want to have sex with him." I only remember this because my mom asked about it and I had no idea that I wrote it, until I saw it written in the diary.
Fast forward to now, Viva is her own woman. She has her own thoughts, how she feels about certain things and her own way of doing things. She uses her eyes to seduce men and it works. She isn't triggered when alcohol is present, again, she's triggered by certain colors, scents, mention of a party, sexual gestures etc...and when she is in control, there's no switching for a few hours. The longest time she's held power is 3 hours. She's manipulative, seductive, very risky with her decisions, but it's my body that pays the price. I usually have small recollection of what happened in those situations. We do talk with each other, about how she should calm down and to force myself to not think about her. But I feel her.
I want to see a therapist about it, but at the same time, I feel like I do not have good justifications on to what's caused this to happen.
alcoholism
HI, I guess, saying I am at my wits end is an understatment: three years ago I ran into my teenage first love. We were both divorced and had kids. He was sharing custody with his ex, had been for 9 years. We started dating. After about 6 months I was wondering where this was heading, as it seemed as if he just liked hanging out, once every two weeks for a day or two, we would spend fantastic time together, but there was like no development. I adressed it and for lack of response over a period of 2 months, i decided to break it off. 2 days later, having organized for hisgirls to go to their mothers, he showed up at my house, unanounced, totaly serious, and said, no, for the first time in my life I know i want this and I want to move things forward.
We spent about a wekk, just planning and building a structur, that would allow us to be together and live a life together, mostly around my home, as I have a huge house with lots of space including lots of things we realy enjoy doing togetehr (gardening, dys projects, dogs, horses, lake, AND the fact that I am raising my kids alone, as my ex husband ran off with some other woman 4 years ago. Its not realy easy for me to get away. Our homes are 1h 20 min drive from each other.
altough, in his eyes, he would of wanted to move in together, it only made sense, that he keep his own flat, for the 4 days he teaches in the same town, including his girls living with him, every second week.
during the period of about two ears, very weird things kept happening. He would not show up, when planned, or when here, his ex or his girs would be running his phone down, asking where he was, (mostly he could not answer the phone and text messages would come. same on my side. He wouldnt show, and would not answer the phone ,or he would and I would here his girls in the backgound, although it was a weekend where we had planned a couple weekend, as his girls where at their moms.
also, neccesary adaptions to our life together, he kept putting off or even lied about.
more and more, i started accusing hi a leaving a double life. or better, two lifes at the same time, which did not add up.
starting to get scared, I had hooked up with a very mean person, I made it very clear, that he either get help or I would have to leave him. He seemed to have absolutly no understanding, of what I was going through, every time he stood me up, or, very rarely, he would get sarcastic and say things like, "why don't you enjoy a weekend alone while your kids are gone , profit from some alone time...."
I had adressed his heavy drinking ac ouple of times in regard to it possibly being a form of selfmedication, he might want to look into what pain he was trying to numb.
last december I had a nervous break down, and he pleade with him to get help, bsed on his promise to do so. He knew something was not adding up, and described periods of utter helpless states, where he did not know why people where so angry at him, or how on earth he would get into situations where people approached him with certain expectations he could not understand.
A realy good frind was telling me about her dissotiative patterns, something I had now idea about, and I started reading about it, and talking to my own therapist and asking questions.
IN an case, I used the image, "even if you set out to go shopping, if, on the way you hit a person, I totaly agree, it was not your intent, but you still injured someone.what you do with me is the same. I realize it is not your intent to hurt me, but it is hurting me, I am on the receiving end of emotional abuse and it has to stop.
so what does he do? he stopes drinking and starts to see a shrink. two things happend: I have more or less not been able to speak or communicate with my mate since, with the exeption of a still very intimte and mindblowing physical level.
and, his shrink, diagnosing him with an adjustment disorder, has been treating him for 10 months (they actualy see each other more than the two of us see each other) will not include me, is not interested in what I am perceiving and even trivilizes my mentioning emotional abuse. also, when I asked my man to tell his shrink, that I have not seen an inch of empathy comming from his side, since he went sober, I actualy realy said, I wish you would still have your bee and a couple of glasses of wine, I know it sounds horrible, - his shrink said, he could not agree with my description of the lac of empathy!!!
So, while there are a whole of other incidents, where I could not believe my eyes or ears, also regarding yreas, where I would not be hurt or did not regard me , I am more and more convinced, that my man changes states. He even has told me, about different periods in his life, like with his first wive, where he felt he had to split his life into 4 different parts, two of which that wive was not included in, which is why he believes it did not work out. with his 4 ear girlfriend following his divorce, there also seemed to be alot to do about him not wanting to live with her, or standing her up, which lead to them splitting up, mainly because he could not stand her complaining anmore.
I have watched him change body language, even dialect, my 9 year old has mentioned him changing dialect, but also like , when he hanges roles, like anyone does, his memory and whole personal values system changes as well. Plus serious memory lapses I do not want to go into detail here.
My biggest problem is, that the man I am facing, during the rare moments, during these last 10 months, or trying to communicate with via e mail or on the phone, when he will answer, which can be not at all for 10 days in a row, is a person I can not recognize. there are almost no moments anymore, I mean moments, where he is even willing to acknowledge I exist , have needs, rights regarding how we are meant to deal with anyof this together...
he has told me, that his shrink and him, they are working on him learning to set boundries and speak up for himself. I can barely contol myself , when hearing or reading theses kind of approaches.
not only have we seen each other about every 21 days, for around 23 h, before, he gets up, makes himself coffe and announces somthing completly different than what we just had planned to do, mostly meaning him going back to his other place, but he talkes to me as if I was an imposition. in other momens, I am faced with glaring sarcasm, putting me down, making fun of any efforts or promises...in short, any destructive thing, as if all he wants is for me to end it all.
I am realy confused and at my wits end. how can becoming sober have such an destructive effect on someone?
all i can try to describe is, that, while he was has been "missusing" his old flat, not for the use we had decided together on, but to what I call "hide" or life a life where our life together does not exist, like he is some other person, when he is there, disregarding any common planes, phonedates, .....it's as if the man I am together with, has dissapeared , together with the alkohol.
I realy admire the courage of someone wanting to quit a unhealthy bad habit, but I must add that, having said that, he was functioning absolutly normal, no one even realized the regularity nor the amount he had gotten used to, exept me. He was realy shocked, when I started approaching his habit , for one, I am not against alkohol, nor do I believe it is "just" an addiction, i realy believe alkohol to be a painkiller on some level, for a lot of people, and my approach had not been in any way judgemental , just gently nudging him, asking him, if it woul dnot be a good thing for him to look into. I never asked him to stopped drinking.
Does anyone know anything about , and please exuse my laity regardin DID, as I am reals till just begining to put puzzle pieces together and reading about what this could feel like for the person who is changing states, but is it possible, that one "alter" is sensitive and in pain, and addicted to alcohol, and another "alter" not? because, besides the first week where he desribed nervousness and a hard time going to sleep at first, it also does not have seem to have cost him "very much", in his words, "I rarely think about it, " he does not mind being around people who do drink alcohol, and he has not needed any support group or anything I ever heard of, other means to help support becoming sober (and I do know some people who stopped drinking and they did tell about it being a real big deal, not easy at all). Does my man need alcohol, to be able to "hold eveything together", or has some state taken over, to prevent him drinking, overriding all kinds of human wonderful sides that are part of him too?
I have been talking to another doctor, in his area, who seems to be specialized in DID, who now has two appontments whith my mate, (he actualy is willing to see him) and am waiting for us to be able to sit down the three of us, (and, he is also signed up in a memory clinic, for a bain scan, a suggestion my doc came up with, to outrule any scarring or other long term dammage, in connection with two car accidents he had, about 20 years ago) but these apointments are spread all the was into february and I have become fearful of conversations with him, when met with this cold trivializing of all emotiol pain and fear I am going through, whilst being seperated for these long periods, in the mean time totaly shut out of his "other life" and these weird things he is working on whith his present shrink. I can not see how abandoning your mate, and making sarcastic jokes about everything that seems to be getting totaly out of hand can be serious part of what is going on there.
I could just scream when trying to figure out, is it the influence of this shrink that has made everything 50 times worse, or is it him becoming sober, and if the latter is the case, how can it be so destructive for all of us. For, as far as I know, he is not enjoying this either.
one other big scary observation i would like to add: he is a teacher, (one to one musik teacher, no adult relationships involved in his 80% work as a teacher) AND he is also a concert musician. He playes the classical trumpet in a symphony who performs once a month. a couple of months ago, he took on a recital and I went to hear him play, and it was a very very disturbing event. although it was not a big concert, and almost no one showed (luckily) he had prepared himself very seriously and it was an absolut catastrophee. I am a professional musican as well, and I have heard a lot of brass players having a bad day and I know what it sound like. But this was not what happend. He was well prepared, and fit for the programm. and he could barely finish every single melody, like he would just have to skip whole parts and let the organ keep on alone. I observed him struggling, using tricks to save energy and streanght but with no effect. I asked him about painkillers he had been on because of backpains, and I asked him if he had ever performed while on painkillers, as they do tend ot mess up our fine motor skills ( in the same way, people are adviced not to drive or use dangerous machinery when on these kind of painkillers). To save his face and honour, I tried to help him deal with this horrible scary experience, an we sort of jockingly agreed to not do that again. 2 weeks later he did the same recital a second time, and he was not on painkillers, and the same thing happend.
someone seems to be totaly in charge here, who lacks empathy, needs no companionship whith his woman whatsoever and has no need for alcohol, AND can not realy play the trumpet.
How, how on earth is it possible, that becoming sober lead to diminsished capacities? I mean 30 years of practise and experience not able to access?
And how can I communicate with the loving, sensitive, man who has like dissapeared, and respeactivly, how do I communicate with this ice cold man, who abbandones me if I only open my mouth regarding my needs or any decisions we both made together?
I am open for any helpful advice or knowledge, even if, at some point, we will be seeing this new doctor, I am going crazy and I am also very hurt and scared. This is a very good and caring man I am writing about, with lots of important things to say and share, very respectful and responsible, WHEN AROUND , in connection with my children, as well as a humble , simple things loving fun person to be around. I am realy scared of loosing him, but this is just a huge mess.
I apologise for my english as it is not my first language as well as hoping to not have described anything in a unrespectfil way, as I honestly admit to this being an area, i have never been involved with.
Hi! I'm sorry that you are
Hi! I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. Is it DID? I don't know, that's up to his mental health care provider to say.
In a multiple system, alters have a job to do, a reason of being. An individual is triggered to dissociate, then an alter steps in to take over and handle the job that the other couldn't handle. There is no time limit to how long an alter can be out.
I experienced abuse for 18 years, not learning any social skills that most everyone has learned before jr. High. When a situation comes up that is beyond my ability to handle, I dissociate (foggy daze) an other would step up and take over to do the job that I couldn't do. For us, we're co-conscience so that we stay stitched together.
I can safely say, I'm damaged goods. There isn't any control over the switching, even though we can swap on request. These other full personalities are for the most part, other persons. The memories these personalities have stay with the one that experienced them, so they disappear when the alter goes back in. Each alter has different talents, ways of thinking, likes and dislikes, gestures...everything. Alters can know about each other or not.
It takes intense therapy with a therapist specializing in trauma that can take years to get alters to integrate, or to learn to live in co-operation. So, what you see is what you got.
Split Personalities
I guess i'll just start from saying that i think I'm having split personalities/DID/MPD. I think I've been traumatized by my parent's divorce, and now I can't seem to trust everyone who tried being friends with me and basically guys especially. I always feel that those things they say are just words. Literally they meant nothing. Enough. About the"another person" that I've mentioned, her name is "Kimi" is a Japanese name. She tends to come out from time to time to tell me that she will take control of me someday. She's a complete sadist, she is always telling inside that "I don't need that person in my life, I can kill them for you...or you can do it yourself." Then, she will laugh like a demon. She will tell me that she is the only one I need. Sometimes when i tell her to stop, she just doesn't. But whenever I'm feeling down during work, she tends to come out to be my substitute for smiling faces(I work as a Customer Service Officer). How should I get rid of her? I can't seem to get her out of my mind even though I was the one created her.
Hi Christina! I'm sorry to
Hi Christina!
I'm sorry to hear how you are suffering so. I can't diagnose you, but I can tell you somethings about DID.
DID specifically is a condition that develops when one experiences trauma, generally before the age of 5 or 7 (depending where you live), like when the mother/baby bond is broken or it never happened. This keeps the baby's brain from developing, stuck in dissociation rather then associating, keeping the trauma memory seperated in different parts of the mind. These parts then can develop into other personalities. Common traumas are sexual, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, or seeing a horrific event. Without this initial trauma at a very young age of the first few years, one can't develop DID.
Every incident of trauma after the initial tramua cannot be processed because the brain stays dissociated. Because of this, more alters or parts can emerge.
Every alter has a reason for being, a job to do, an unlearned coping skill. For instance, every time something happens that a mind can't handle, one dissociates (go into a daze, foggyness,) and an other part steps up to take on the job the first couldn't handle. The switches are generally caused by a trigger.
Alters can't be created.
Everybody dissociates at one time or another, day dreaming, trances, highway hypnosis.... Some are more prone to dissociate more then others. The dissociative spectrum starts with PTSD, then c-PTSD, then OSDD, then DID. Anyone of these can have alters, but DID is a lifelong condition that have well developed personalities that have age, gender, their own way of walking, talking, dressing, likes and dislike, thinking, etc.
PTSD and the others are instances of dissociative disorders resulting from trauma at any age. People diagnosed OSDD can have multiple alters, but they don't satisfy the requirements as expressed in the DSM-5 here in the US.
One can't get rid of alters. They have to be worked out with a certified therapist specializing in trauma.
Thinking that one has alters can also be linked to psychotic events in bipolar, skitzophrenia, and any other neurological disorder.
I hope that helps some. If a condition is interrupting ones quality of living, then one needs to consult their mental health care provider for proper diagnosis and treatment. I wish you well.
Split Personalities
I guess i'll just start from saying that i think I'm having split personalities/DID/MPD. I think I've been traumatized by my parent's divorce, and now I can't seem to trust everyone who tried being friends with me and basically guys especially. I always feel that those things they say are just words. Literally they meant nothing. Enough. About the"another person" that I've mentioned, her name is "Kimi" is a Japanese name. She tends to come out from time to time to tell me that she will take control of me someday. She's a complete sadist, she is always telling inside that "I don't need that person in my life, I can kill them for you...or you can do it yourself." Then, she will laugh like a demon. She will tell me that she is the only one I need. Sometimes when i tell her to stop, she just doesn't. But whenever I'm feeling down during work, she tends to come out to be my substitute for smiling faces(I work as a Customer Service Officer). How should I get rid of her? I can't seem to get her out of my mind even though I was the one created her.
Being a multiple
Omg, everyone makes being a multiple like an end of the world thing! There are extensive testing, interviews, and psychoanalysis that takes place before one is dx'd DID. Sure we humans have different versions of ourselves, but when it's a complete change in mind and thought plus missing memories and time, then we are getting closer to the subject at hand. Self-diagnosing is not recommended and best be left up to a qualified mental health provider.
Fortunately for our system, we are co-conscience enough that we are aware of each other enough to pull off being a singleton. We share very little memories, but enough to get past any situation. We work in co-operation (most of us), and at 47 (the body) we can't see integration even a possibility. We have some direct communication in the mind, but everything beyond that is a dream.
We have 31 named others and hundreds of hundreds of others- we are a poly-fragmented system. We are very prone to dissociation, you know when you go into a daze, things get foggy or out of body watching yourself.
It does suck, but for a plus we are multi-talented, most experts in their field. We have a mechanic, a builder, a flautist, a guitarist, a chef, TI guy, home maker, remodeler, to name a few.
We have others that hold bits of trauma memories and others that have specific jobs to perform like unlearned coping skills or actual physical functions like driving, cooking, sex...
We endured ritual abuse of physical, mental, and emotional from a baby to when I was in my 20's.
There is a bunch of science related mumbo jumbo on the biological neuroscience end, but I'm not going to elaborate on the actual physical causes.
If you think that you might have this condition, please consult your mental health provider for proper diagnostic analytics.
I dont know
Im Lu .20 y, i really dont understand myself .
I always feeling down .. i feel im a failure .. something
Is missing on me... i had a mood changes .. sumtyms
I feel sad .happy. active .down.. i really dont know.
I cant control my emotions . Im easily hurt ...
I often making conversations in my head .. making
An episode or scenario that leads me talking like crazy
Out of myself.. there were voices ... and i was shocked
When someone inside me telling me to kill someone
Without a reason . I was scared , why if i cnt control it.
It has no ending until now i want to kill.. the other side of
Me saying no. But i want to kill... i really dont understand
Who is really me... am i a bad person ?, all i want is
The world to be in peace happy .without tears .
Please help me...
confused
Im not sure if i have mpd, but i feeling like i am another 'person' to my alter. Just call me A, and another one is B.
I was born first, with shy attitude, emotional, and a little bit pyscho(but im not going to kill someone...) i didnt have many friend before because i was shy. And one day, i suddenly 'switched', i became cheerful and because of that i got a lot of friends. That's B.
I created an imaginary friends. Suddenly he dissapeared and im very sad. I dont know why i keep telling my self, we have to protect each other. Because of that, im thinking that i have multiple personalities. B is still in control.I takes control when im thinking B is slacking too much and making a lot of mistakes. I tried, but i wasd too emotional that time, I cried a lot.
And now, we agreed to switch whenever we want. We still share the same thought, love interest. We (maybe) dont have individual memories.
I am smarter than B, but B social skill is good. B is a 'normal teenager' while i was 'blank'.
Maybe one of us is alter ego? Or we really exist?
Please help me
Trying to understand myself...
I know I don't and believe I don't have MPD/DID. But I'm also not sure who to ask my question to and felt maybe I could find some small answer here...
I may not have DID as far as I know. Because as I understand it people normally don't remember parts of their day if they had DID. But in saying that, I have always consciously split my on mind into different parts of a whole. Each part has either a title or name to recognize them by and even appearances in my mind for the sake of knowing they are different. But even though I know they are a part of me as a whole, I do not feel whole. I am broken and I feel like I am breaking more each day.
It is the fact that I feel so broken and that I can't see myself as a whole that sometimes; like right now, it makes me wonder more lately if maybe I do have DID and not know it. But I'm to afraid to ask someone in front of me because I hate feeling as if I'm making something out of nothing like some attention seeker. I guess I'm not even entirely sure what my question is... Is this normal? Is it possible I do had some lesser form (if that is even possible) of mpd? Or am I just being overly emotional and stupid.... Should I have even bothered you with this...
I suppose for the perpose of an example.
When I was a very small child I was the perfect example of a pink loving girly-girl. When I started school a year early though I made a female friend who was a tom-boy and being a year younger, I looked up to her and wanted to be like her. So I forced myself to believe my favorite color was blue and made myself a tom-boy. Now years later two of those parts that make me as a whole a 'the Tom-boy' and the 'Girly-girl' and I can have days/weeks/months where I go between being a tom-boy or girly-girl based on how I feel. (As for fav colors, I can't even tell if I really have one anymore. It changes that often)
I hope that helped give you a more clear view somehow...
There are many others to that each represents a part of me, butbut no one part take control of me (my mind/body). Its just me and they are the parts of me. Again, is this normal...? I somehow doubt it.
Interested, definitely.
Ok. Theres a part of me that comes out with pure survival instinct. I didn't know what I dealt with actually had a name, even if I don't fit the entire description listed here. This guy that I've had a thing with off and on for several years was the first to identify it, I think. He knows me better than most of the people I know (we'll call him oliver.) We've always cared about each other, it's just always really intense with him. Anyhow, I made connections in my head before, but had never really realized what I do, because I found it as normal.
I am a completely "normal" woman. But when I'm mentally hurting, or under stress, or in certain situations, theres a part of me that comes out.
It's almost like she acts on my behalf. I've noticed it off and on down through the years, going back to when I was a little kid. When bad things happened when I was a child, I pretended I was Lyra Belaqua, from the golden compass.
Anyhow, more recent example, I just recently found out that my "ex-mother-in-law" has cancer. We are extremely close. I see her as my mother away from home. When I found out, I literally felt like I couldn't take it, because there was just so much going on in my life, anyhow. To find out that she had cancer was a hard blow. All of a sudden, I went mentally numb, I couldn't feel any pain, and my voice was sharper. Not like my voice was completely changed, but this part of me is more concise with her words. She is almost like a business woman. She is confident. She often comes out when I am drunk. Or in sexual encounters. Or in mental pain. She is animalistic. Cunning. No one can hurt her. I like her, because she is a thrill seeker. She gets things done.
I had a moment a few weeks ago. Oliver and I were arguing, and drinking. We were in bed, and pissed off at each other, but there was a lot of tension, and I was so angry. Usually in an argument, I am humble. But I started being really rough with him. And he was being really rough back. He all of a sudden stopped. And I remember saying things to him that weren't me. He said "No, Mary, let Elizabeth out." and I was literally laughing hysterically, straddling him, my head buried in his chest, saying "No. Elizabeth is weak. She couldn't make it without me." and a bunch of other stuff. I remember laughing manically, and basically man handling him in a sexual way. I'm a very humble person. I'm not like that in bed. And when I was saying the words, it didn't even feel like me. I don't know how to feel about it.
It doesn't interfere with my every day life, so I'm not concerned. And that aspect of my personality has saved me on more than one occasion. I dont even know why I'm typing this. I guess... I'm just reaching out into the void. Seeing what someone else thinks.
Re to interested, definitely
omg... Sounds so much like me. I feel like. Freak most of the time. Like I get lost in my own world. Not knowing which ME I will be or when. I know of two others. Besides the true me, but my therapist said there is more. Scares me. One is the most dominate. Kari... She was my protector when I was in high school, maybe before, I don't know. But at times, will take over for long lengths of time as well as short ones. And there are times when it is come and go at free will ... Since being in therapy the last three years, I have learned a little on how to push her away, but I too am not always the strongest... And my husband calls her the 'bad' me. And lately, she has been the strongest she has been in a long time... A very close family friend of mine was dx with cancer two months ago... Started chemo and given six months, I just saw him last weekend and it seems like after I broke down, I realized that I hadn't fully accepted my health issue, only pushed it aside... And tht was when I think she took over completely. She is more agressive, assertive, uses her voice, isn't afraid to fight... And is very sexual where anything is fair game... As I am not due to the sexual abuse I endured for 11 years from age nine on, my husband , after a week of this, told me last night tht bad me has to go before she kills one of us. But he doesn't object during the wild sex where there are no boundaries or limits, Knowing what 'I ' do not allow when it is me, not her. I don't know how to put her away, get only me back. I am not a night owl, as my normal wake time is three am, and she is a night owl, and staying up until midnight is killing me! So if you come up with a solution tht works... Puts your demon to rest, please share
23 years old, trying to understand my disorder fully.
I don't know exactly how to start this-
I am 23 years old, and I believe I suffer from a type of multiple personality disorder. It started at an early age. I had to have been 10, possibly 11 when It all began. My childhood was definitely tainted by multiple things from molestation, death of my best friend when I was nine, being raised by my ill grandmother, and just being around a lot of argumentative situations.
To get away, I would play with my toys and get really deep into the characters I would create them to be. I probably stopped playing with my toys around 12 or so. I was really attached to them, and I still have some of them until this day (I no longer play with them, of course).
After my toy stage was over, I remember creating an inner alter, but this alter actually existed in real life. He is a celebrity that I don't feel comfortable mentioning because If anyone I knew were ever to read this, they would know it was me lol. Lets just call him X. At first, I just had a picture of him from an album he made, I would talk to but change my voice to answer myself. Eventually, the picture became ruined, so I created the alter completely within me. At first, I thought it was just an obsession, but then I created another alter. This alter was me, except better, more beautiful, more everything that my X alter would want. I was a popular kid, class clown, love to laugh, and all that, but when i came home these alters came out A LOT. Talking to one another. I'm not sure where I go exactly, but I am completely aware of when I do it (because when I hear someone come in or I think someone may catch me, I simply stop the conservations). I was around 13-15 when my Alter-me formed. Around 17-19. Two more alters were created to kind of compliment all the others. X, Alter-Me, Jay, and Tahj. My last alter was created around 20, maybe 21 which was a female who holds no name. She is good friends with the alter-me, and with Tahj. I have two woman alters, the other three are male. They all know each other, they all are friends, but sometimes it does get boring so I switch up the climax or scenario. I literally create fantasy or day dream like scenarios with them all, but the ones I use the most is probably X and the alter-me. It's a full on relationship/good friendship with X. Even when I dated people or messed around, I always went back to the X alter. I'm sure the real person I first created my X alter after is not precisely like him, but I love X, which is weird. It's kind of a weird way to I don't know love myself. It all derives back to me. because I am too a musician and when I do get on stage I'm the alter-me.It's not to say I don't love who I truly am, it just formed and I have been finding a way to release and just let go, but something keeps these alters there, even if I go a long time without using them. I have a total of five as of now. I am always of aware of what is going on, I never forget. It makes my life easier to live through, and I have only told my therapist. My friends, and family and surroundings have no idea there is anything wrong. I think my grandma caught me once when I was a teen, but that was it. I've kept it a secret for such a long time. I don't have thoughts of hurting anyone or feel crazy, but it is pretty awkward, and I don't know how to tell people other than the therapists I have had.
What I'm hearing
What I am hearing in most of these posts is in some ways even more alarming than actually being diagnosed with DID.
A lot of these people are quite young and they appear to desperately want someone to find something dire wrong with them.
I would use the words Drama Queens but I think most of them are trying to frighten themselves or their associates into believing they are mentally Ill.
Mental illness is not a badge of honor or a societal perk, something to boost your ego. it's debilitating as hell, sometimes nearly impossible to cure and very disheartening. it disrupts your ability and chances, in severe cases, of ever leading a decently successful life. it's a terrible grind and many truly mentally Ill people spend their lives on health-draining medications just to survive at all.
That said, I know there are some truly ill people posting here who are seeking help although why they would seek it in this forum rather than seeing a professional I do not know.
But please, for those of you who just get some sort of emotional high out of pretending you have a serious brain disfunction, TRY leading a happier, more successful existence. it's a GIFT to have the ability to do so, not to be taken so lightly or thrown away.
I tend to be at times
I tend to be at times somewhat impressionable if i know enough about a certain topic so prehaps this is all in my mind or something but i've felt since a long time as if i was more than one person...
I really don't think there is any other way for me to better describe it... i don't really loose time or anything as far as i can tell a part of the problem is that i have very bad memory i can completly forget certain things even things that happened not so long ago like where i walked to an hour ago but i feel like someone is there they think different than i do rhey act different but it's me usually its nothing bad or harmful but just very different from me i don't know maybe it's just mood swings but every now and then i'll even have conversations with it and it'll think back and i tend to get this overwelming feeling that something inside of me in my thoughts in my head wants to burst free i don't know maybe i'm just imagining it all i'm just hoping there is some insight out there or something...
a bit vurious about my situation
for a few years now I have been a gamer among other things I woundt say its a problem but im curious to know why it happens. to me after I play a game or read a stry some characters stayed on my mind, and I mean stayed there,they would talk to me at times I was tire or bore, they retain there own personalities and all never truly interfiring whit mine but still there to question my decitions, I dirint hear them by my ears it was in my head, slowly they faded away.Now I rarely heard those characters so im curious as to what it was
My friend is acting weird..like, demon weird.
Hi. sometimes my friend becomes somebody else. but it's not like somebody else, it's more like some weird villain from a horror movie.
she says things like 'can I have your heart?' in a weird voice. and I keep laughing and telling her to stop. and sometimes just go with it and play along. but now I'm concerned, it's happening a lot.. and I don't know what to do. I don't feel comfortable with her anymore. after it happens, she acts like she doesn't remember anything and begs me to tell her what happened. I keep telling myself it's a prank, but I don't think it is anymore.
After it happens, she asks me if she talked in a low pitch or high pitch and a lot of specific questions. like she's used to it. I don't like it. it's happening a lot.
the other day, we were talking in the Skype chat, she always answered me after a couple of seconds. but suddenly, she went quiet. after 10 minutes, she wrote 'B' and I was just confused, and thought she went afk. Later we talked normally again.
later when we talked on Skype with the cameras, and our actual voices and stuff.. she looked at me creepily for 10 minutes and in the middle of the 10 min, she wrote 'B'. I didn't see her look down at the keyboard or anything. and I saw her camera wasn't frozen, because her hair moved.
I'm really scared and I want answers!
Your friend
Yeah, definitely sounds like she has an alter, maybe more than one from her questioning you. Asking about the pitch of voice 'she' used sounds like she has at least 2 alters and was trying to figure out which one it was. Try and convince her to open up to you, maybe just even ask her. Sounds like she really needs a friend.
desperate for answers
My girlfriend of a little over a year hasn't been diagnosed with DID though i believe she has it and so does she. There have been multiple cases where she will cheat in the relationship, or flirt with other girls and even tell them that she loves them. Everytime that i question her, or get upset about finding out about it she says "i don't remember doing that i swear" or "it wasn't me, I've never even heard that name" i can tell that she's telling the truth, because she even took it to the point where she deleted people out of her life to protect not only me, but herself. She will not stop fighting for me, telling me she really doesn't remember it. She called the "other person" and attention whore, because when this other person inside of her comes out, she can't go without the attention and affection of other women. She has a history and a current exposure to physical and mental abuse. Her father has put his hands on her and says the most horrible things to her. He makes her feel worthless. But, what really gets to me is the "i don't remember" because she doesn't forget anything with me... its only when she does something bad. does this situation make sense? could she really not remember these things because her main is in love with me and her alter just likes attention? what i really want to know is should i believe her? I'm not familiar with DID so to me it looks like she's lying, but she just gets so emotionally upset and torn saying she "wishes the other person inside her mind would go away" she says she wants to be herself, she doesn't want to be the alter. does all of this make sense? I'm so stuck and i don't know how to cope with her behavior, nor do i know how to help her. If someone could please give me some advice and information, i would really appreciate it... I'm desperate to find answers for the both of us. thank you. my email is
I Don't Know What This is..
I'm an average heavy metal loving teen, but sometimes I do things that, when i do them, they are fully justified and make sense. Later on, I fully regret it and don't understand why I did it. I often think "I would never do something like this", "why would i ever even think of doing this" or "this is not me". I know I did it, but I don't understand why, and I don't remember a lot of the details..
Do i have MPD?
So i am 15 year old girl. My name is (let's just not mention it ) .
i'm a girl and a perfect teen girly girl..i have celebrity crushes, real life crushes, boy friends..but inside i really wanted to be boy..i wish i was a boy..i think i could enjoy more if i was a guy. so i created one..first it was like an imaginary friend..he is Alex.
he's really cute and so popular..we never talk..all i do is imagining him doing stuff i cant . and i gave him a perfect back ground..his family , his educations , looks..everything he needs. so he's a perfect human ( in my mind ) and it's been over an year since he was created.
but lately it's kinda worries me because i cant sleep at nights unless i'm thinking about him..i relate every single things in my life to his.. now i dont like my life anymore..i used to be more charming, happy girl.but now i'm suffering from depression . thinking about him is the only thing makes my life happy . I am scared..but i cant stop it. because i might go mad.
please is this just the earliest stages of MPD , or am i just imagining and everything is alright??
please please some one help me..before i go insane !
thank you
a friend with MPD
Hi. I am a girl and I have a friend who seems to have MPD. So uh, lets say his name is A, he apparently has another name which is D and X. So he is A but at times D comes out and harms people. D used to be real violent but now he is more of a good guy and is an asset to A but I am real worried. I have no idea how to help him and he tells me to go away because A is afraid that D might come out and harm me. But I wanna let him know that I am not afraid of D and that D is as an angelic guy as A. Please help me out! Thank you so so so much!
Reply
Multiple personas aren't usually created like this. However... I know from experience that its not always the case. I'm Ty by the way. My friends call me ace because my alters refer to that as well. Anyway... You are at a breaking point of creativity. One of my personalities ( He is Al, kinda ironic I know) was created by me. Alex for you is like this. However, right now you are at a fork in the road, I call it a breaking point. You can choose to give him control and create a real imaginary friend, or kick him away. Be aware that you will not be able to enjoy anything he is giving you right now, it will all be his. You may not even remember he is out. Anyway... I'm 14 (well pretty much 15 at this point). I've got Max unwillingly and Al by choice. I know what your going through. It would be nice to talk. Ty.a.henley@gmail.com. I came to this site to find people like me, (I'm the guy who posted under you) and I've found someone. I may need you as much as you need me. Oh we'll... Your choice. Just like whether or not your keeping Alex.
mpd/did
Very interested in this sight for myself.
Thank you so much for helping
Thank you so much for helping me out.
But still i'm conserned about my future , education etc. i cant give him up..it would be like killing me with a surgical blade. I wish to keep him as long as it doesnt make me insane.
And i think i could use someone to talk to as well since we both are going through pretty much the same phase.
But your emai doesnt seem to work ..Maybe its my problem ..but can u give another mail id of yours..it would be better and easier.
Thank you Ace.
did /mpd
I am pretty sure I have it to.My friends say sometimes I go really crazy and I don't remember a thing.I looked up that with did you get obsessed with one thing and I am really obsessed with something.I took a test and it said I was 100% did.I want to find more kids like me.I have a movie that a love really much and (the mask) and my brother days I turn into the mask ,voice the way he acts every thing!And I can't remember 11 years of my life and I am only 13.I get very bad pain before my friends say I change.what does it mean?
So please tell me if I am going crazy or not.
Reply
Ok. Well try thenle2@tigers.lsu.edu. But when you get through to one of my email addresses, I'll help you. I needed help when I was through that phase, but didn't get it. I would really enjoy talking to someone like me and around my age.
I have the same problem but I
I have the same problem but I have not been diagnosis with anything yet. I mean it all started when I made a fan fiction book and created Alyssa Potter which now is apart of me. Well sometimes I will have urges to change my hair color and get contact lenses to look like her cause I want to be her. But then ill go back to normal like nothing happened. I'll sometimes act like her on some days and I can't control it.
Me and Max
Lets start with I'm 14. I've got DID (or MPD depending on your knowledge). I go by ace because both Max and I respond to it. My parents don't know. Max was created because I couldn't trust anyone from 2nd to 4th grade. My parents got devorced when I was in 2nd. I was able to cope by trusting "myself" before trusting others. I was really trusting Max. I now have more confidence and Max can't believe that. He is not evil, but enjoys everyone else's pain, and when I'm in trouble (which is a lot) he will come out (which is painful sometimes when I want to stay out and I can't hold him in). I have grown fond of Max. That's why my parents don't know. They will make me go to therapy (or won't believe me, which is just as bad). Max has almost killed dogs, cats, people... I can only keep him in when I listen to "Monster" by Skillet. Problem is, he can hold my in by listening to seven nation army or smoke on water (bad memories connected to the songs). I don't really have anyone to calm him down. No girls really like me (I'm not too popular). However, I came here because I need help, and would like someone who understands to talk to.
-Ty (for now)
Max
Hey Ace, or Max, depending on who's reading. My boyfriend (Ryan) has DID, and I'm pretty understanding of it. His alter (Xavier) is quite destructive as well but him and Ryan do really care for eachother...just saying I'm here if you still need someone to talk to. Sorry for babbling a bit, just thought you'd want to know I'm not some random person who doesn't know what they're on about xD If you reply to this, I'll give you my email and we can talk sometime :)
thanx
i'd love to have some1 to talk to.
My email address :)
Marico_mills@hotmail.co.uk
Message me any time :)
One thing to note:
the word "schizophrenia" was coined by psychiatrist Eugene Bleuler in 1911. The term, literally, in Greek, means "split mind". As your article points out "A person with schizophrenia does not have connected thoughts and feelings, they are 'split'". This is either poorly written or misleading as a person with schizophrenia does not have a split mind at all. Schizophrenia is characterized by a number of positive and negative symptoms but there is not split. A person with schizophrenia may have disorganized thoughts and speech (this was called disorganized schizophrenia until last month when the new DSM eliminated subtypes).
Schizophrenia is poorly understood by both media and clinicians. The causes are elusive, though genetics is suspected. The common theory is that there is dysfunction with several neurotransimitters such as dopamine, GABA, norepinepherine and seratonin. It's important to note that this is theory as there is no way to determine the chemical deficits or surpluses.
While it is assumed that schizophrenia is a biochemical disorder, DID is assumed to be purely neurotic.
Both DID and schizophrenia are diagnosed by the subjective reports of the patient. There's no blood tests, scans, or other biological testing.
While there may be some "crossover symptoms" for both disorders, in terms of patient reports, these symptoms, if one subscribes to the medical models of schizophrenia, are much different. One who hears voices with schizophrenia is dealing with a sensory dysfunction in the brain, where one with DID hearing voices is, typically, hearing their other parts talking.
One of the more defining symptoms of schizophrenia is hearing two or more voices running a commentary on the persons actions and behavior and, often, being critical of those actions.
The problem with this is that this can also be a prominent feature with DID and there is no medical way to distinguish the two. This leads, frequently, to, at least initially, the misdiagnosis of schizophrenia in a patient with DID.
There is no split mind, in schizophrenia, however, despite Bleuler's label. Nowhere in the diagnostics manuals (DSM, etc.), medical journals, papers, or other literature describing the symptoms and actions of schizophrenia are any features of splitting.
I'm Jace well I have three
I'm Jace well I have three personalitlys from suffering MPD, Jace is confused, funny and strong, Mono is shy, sweet and kind while Shady is Evil, Shady got me arrested once and I'm only 12. Shady is violent and creul she is killing me. My real name is Monique Lupin help me
I know how you feel. my names
I know how you feel. my names chris. it is also gabriel. those who have encountered gabriel have told me he looks like me but he is fitter, taller, calm even when he is furious. he nearly killed the girl i love. only my best friend could calm him down. your best bet is that whenever you feel shady coming out, leave. try to stay away from people. ive been arrested twice. once for agravated battery. another for punching a cop. i dont remember doing either of those things. good luck.
mpd
hey my name is robert i am 14 i also have mpd. When ever i get angry my second persinalty comes out he calls himself spike when he surfaces he is cold heartless violent and evil the last time he took control he put dylan in a headlock and almost killed him but the first person i ever fell in love with emily calmed him down and i took control of my body before i killed dylan. whenever spike comes out bad things happen i love the power i get but i need to control him please help before even emily parent can't calm him down.
alleviation
I think the best thing for you to realize is that Spike is there to control, to protect you. He is not a bad person even if the things he does are bad. Try to be thankful towards him for being there for you to provide something that you need - control and protection. If you are thankful, you can at least negotiate with him to try to figure out what he needs. Remember, this is not a problem that needs to be fixed but an issue that needs to be addressed.
Question
Im trying to get to the bottom of what my husband has he says he talk to another person in his head. he has a name and everything and he has told me several times he has tlked to him about me. My husband is 29 and has had this since he was young. I dont believe he had a terrible childhood cuz he has not told me anything lke that. But he was alone alot so ths is how this 'person' occured. I have seen him twice bring "him" out and got a little worried he is totally different. He seems not to remember when he does. and it increases and talks out loud more when he consumes alcohol. Im just wondering what this could possibly be so i can try and hep him.
It's Disassociative Identity
It's Disassociative Identity Disorder. I'd beleive him about his childhood, people with DID will tend to hide the cause from you until you find out about the other personality. ..
It might be MPD
I don't think I have MPD but I do have different personalities. I don't black out but I see what I'm doing. I'm not in control of my body and I don't act myself. All I can do is watch as time flies as another me controls me. I am able to talk to them and I can learn about them. I no its not MPD because I dont black out and can't remember what happened. I have other personalities and I just don't know how to deal with it.
i have this same problem
i have this exact same problem i have three of them and i am fully conscious as they are "in control" i honestly sometimes think i am losing my mind i dont get why this happens but i know how you feel
If I have it at all it's not
If I have it at all it's not as strong as some peoples, I usually have a million thoughts come rushing to my head, and then I will think something and the other side of my mind would disagree, today is the first time iv'e ever thought of it as possibly not normal. Anyway may or I may not have this disorder, but at the end of the day having it or not doesn't change who I am.
I'm have the
Same problem. And this mental illness that I live I'm so afraid of living. Like this I just cannot go on like this not feeling tha I wont be able to have normal relationship because I'm never going to be understood I right now I'm going through much pain that I'm blacking out. Im so scare Im just thinking how to end my life and I cannot go hide my caught any longer
MPD????
I'm not exactly sure if I have MPD or not. I read articles about it and the comments on hear and it's sounds sort of the same but not really. I don't think I suffered any trauma or anything, I mean besides my parents abandoning me but not abuse or anything and that supposedly triggers it right?
Anyway my problemis sort of different personalities but I remember stuff usually and don't black out. However I have these "Characters" I call them in me. The most troubling parties that they are usually guys...
I lost punt of how many "characters" there are but I feel like they take control over me.
Their names are "Devon" (16 boy) "Eric" (16 boy) "Seth" (16 boy) "Selena" (16 girl) "Alex" (16 girl) "Mark" (38 man) "Tyler" (38 man) "Jacob" (38 man) "Lilly" (38 woman). These are the usual ones, but rarely there are more.
"Mark" and "Jacob" help me a lot with what todo and listens when I need to talk (aka probably myself). But the "character" I am most is "Devon" he comes out randomly. If not him it's usually "Jacob". Like I said before I didn't have a bad life, however "Jacob" and "Devon" does. "Jacob" was an orphan and was abused sexually, mentally, and Psychally. He was starved and beaten by foster parents and when he was 18 since no one adopted him they just left him out in the streets. But luckily "Mark" and his "friends" took him in. At least that's what "Jacob" told me. So he knows a lot about feeling hurt and helps me when I am. However he's suicidal and self-harms....
"Devon" is an orphan too and was abused mentally, Psychally, and sexually too. But he's adopted by "Jacob" so he's o.k now. But he's suicidal and self-harming too.
Sometimes I grab a knife and start cutting (upper leg, ankles, stomach, or wrists) they don't like people seeing them. Then it's like I wake up or snap into reality and drop the knife wondering "why did I do that?" sometimes "Jacob" or "Devon" says they were hurting inside and was letting the paid out. But another time I tied a rope around my neck, thankfully snapped out in time before I jumped. But ever since these "characters" (mostly "Jacob" and "Devon") came into my life (been over 3/4 years I've had this) I've been acting different but I don't know if it's multiple personalities or not. Ever since "they" came I've been-
Feeling for a sexual need. (but never did it it posted porn and stuff of me).
Suicidal
Self-harming
Angry (I argue with everyone everyday about the stupidest things. I lose my temper, and fast )
Depressed
Confused (sometimes I have no idea why I'm doing something)
It used to be a game in my head. I talked to myself alone in a room and stuff but now, now it's all time, out in public! I can't control it!! "Devon" came out once when I was sleeping with my cousin (Cheyanne, she's 15) there was only one bed so we shared (since we're girls!) but he came out and tried to touch her down there. She thought it was a joke and laughed (no one knows about "them", they still don't. It's all in my head!!) but then "he" touched her breasts and she was like "your acting weird Mercedes!" and as soon asshe said my name I snapped out of it. It's like the only way I come back is if they say my name...
But Cheyanne has looked at me and stuff naked in the shower before. So was I doing revenge? Sure I'm mad but not enough to touch her!! Was "Devon" gettin justice for me or did he like her?
Sometimes I act like a boy from "them" but everyone thinks I'm just a Tom boy. But do I have MPD?? Or am I crazy?? I can't control them and I want the to stop! They're ruining my life. "Devon" made me cheat on a testat school, almost shoplift, stab myself and sister. He says "You deserve better!" and almost made me runaway. Got me in trouble with the cops.
I don't know how to stop "him"!! A d he's just one of the problems!! I have more!!! Someone please help me!!!
Help me
Please!!!!!!