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hirakismail's picture

Self-Evaluation

I have been an active listener, and an average comment-maker. I have been actively working on talking more in class though, without being too careful about whether what I had to say was "good enough."

On-line, I got really into my site-sit responses. Out-of-doors in our excursions I was very excited to be part of the activities. In-class, I could have worked more on having points to make, but did try to comment building off of other people's points and bring another perspective into use.

The site-sit experiments were very personal, as were my ways of approaching them. But after class, a friend and I would always dissect what had gone on in class and we would talk about postings on Serendip. Some of these conversations might have been mentioned once or twice in a post, but could have been mentioned more. 

I hoped, especially in my Web Papers, to contribute by choosing different topics, especially in Web Paper 3 my wish was to expose to poetry in a differing cultural context. I wanted to bring a part of South Asia into the very (and perhaps understandably, since its what we know best?) U.S. based discussion.

Especially when we found ourselves "fielding" out of doors, I felt incredibly excited to participate. I wanted to be as open to new experiences as possible and see what I could do in terms of team work. The Blind-Field-Shuttle was a day in which I felt incredibly responsible for everyone, not just me, because we all needed to make it through the walk together without hurting ourselves. I wanted to be positive and let the outcomes arrive in class rather than push too hard for them. Of all the things this did was make it harder to express how deeply involved I felt in the field trip activities over postings. I remember spending extra time on those particular posts (Ashbridge, Blind Shuttle) to try to talk about how influential they were this semester, and how they will continue to be so.

The Lives of Animals is still stuck with me and hasn't left me alone. It has literally changed my eating habits. I am spending more time before eating thanking God for the food, and also reconsidering how much meat I consume. I'm thinking much more deeply about where my food is coming from, how it's grown, and in meat's case, how ethically was the animal butchered, or was it ethical at all? These questions are still fresh, I am still reconsidering how to deal with the questions Elizabeth Castello raised. It's made me really really conscious of how my very dietary choices are affecting the world. Terry Tempest Williams has done a similar thing; she has connected with the idea that there is a hunger in all of us. She names it and finds solutions and I can't wait to see if I can access "an" answer if not "the" answer. 

When it was required to be in response to others, I made sure it was, but a couple times I just felt compelled to respond to another's piece. I received some comments nearer the beginning of the semester, and gave several too, but as the semester went along, I felt more tested because of time constraints as the semester progressed, and found myself concentrating on my own posts. I did go through and read other's posts, but would forget to comment on them. I would check out what other's were saying, and once in a while let it affect my writing. The largest amount of effort was put into my Web events. I was glad to see Web Event 3 & 4 transition into each other. I felt like I was doing a deeper study this way, and got to linger rather than speed through. I even tried experimenting with sound with my last paper, seeing the wonderful sound presentations in the last teach-in. I loved the idea of representation through sound. I felt my site-sits were more dwelled upon, after the Web Events, and the Sunday postings were better some days than others. When I felt more engaged with the question at hand, I went the extra mile, when I didn't, I did enough to get by, or answer the question on a surface level. I have learned that if we are required two postings a week, I will make sure they get done, even if some are late, but I learned that this disciplined journalling was working for me like so many other journalling projects for other classes haven't. The weekly nature made sure that I had to keep writing, and that was the most important part. You keep writing, then one day something really clicks, and that day is very exciting.

I now am looking for the "ecological" in all my work. Noticing references to the environment in feminist theory, identifying assigned essay writers for other classes (Christine Downing) as ecofeminists, being aware. At the beginning of class, I was expecting a strict research-based class, and I was pleased to find out we researched in more than one way. I now know I can work without strict prompts, that I enjoy the open nature of our assignments, and that there are absolutely more ways to write and represent than I would have thought before. As an English major, I'm going to be more likely to try the "Experimental" Topics and Prompts, because I am no longer afraid of them, in fact they are engaging. Challenging, they keep you on your toes, but they are so much more engaging. This is where the ecological aspect of this course lies I believe; ecological = experimental . It is not stagnant, the earth, it is ever-changing, and deserves to be looked upon with as many lenses as possible.

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