Silence

After Linda-Susan Beard's visit to our class on Thursday, i've really been thinking of silence in different ways. As I said in another post, I'm in awe at how "full" and "rich" silence is, and how she needs it in order to recharge. Listening to her speak, and watching the facial expressions showed me just how much she enjoys the experience of silence, whether she uses it as a way to confront aspects of her life that she needs to deal with or because it gives her the opportunity to do something she likes, such as gardening. Her visit left me with questions on this sort of relationship with silence is built. Is it something that takes a long time? Is it something that works for some but not for others? I would love to hear more from her about how to make silence an enjoyable experience used to recharge. I usually feel jittery and definitely notice the small moving clock, but I want a contemplative experience with silence that will leave me feeling rich and full.

After Linda-Susan Beard's visit to our class on Thursday, i've really been thinking of silence in different ways. As I said in another post, I'm in awe at how "full" and "rich" silence is, and how she needs it in order to recharge. Listening to her speak, and watching the facial expressions showed me just how much she enjoys the experience of silence, whether she uses it as a way to confront aspects of her life that she needs to deal with or because it gives her the opportunity to do something she likes, such as gardening. Her visit left me with questions on this sort of relationship with silence is built. Is it something that takes a long time? Is it something that works for some but not for others? I would love to hear more from her about how to make silence an enjoyable experience used to recharge. I usually feel jittery and definitely notice the small moving clock, but I want a contemplative experience with silence that will leave me feeling rich and full.

After Linda-Susan Beard's visit to our class on Thursday, i've really been thinking of silence in different ways. As I said in another post, I'm in awe at how "full" and "rich" silence is, and how she needs it in order to recharge. Listening to her speak, and watching the facial expressions showed me just how much she enjoys the experience of silence, whether she uses it as a way to confront aspects of her life that she needs to deal with or because it gives her the opportunity to do something she likes, such as gardening. Her visit left me with questions on this sort of relationship with silence is built. Is it something that takes a long time? Is it something that works for some but not for others? I would love to hear more from her about how to make silence an enjoyable experience used to recharge. I usually feel jittery and definitely notice the small moving clock, but I want a contemplative experience with silence that will leave me feeling rich and full.

It’s still very hard to believe we are coming to the last week of the semester and end of the 360 journey. However, even till the end, we were still able to explore silence from another perspective.

I really enjoyed visit of sister Linda on Thursday. Her stories offered me another opportunity to see the power of silence.

One point she mentioned really touched me about silence. She said silence is pregnancy not emptiness and through silence she can hear voices of God and fell unbelievably loved. Wow, what a beautiful state of mind and enlightenment she was able to feel through such silence. I was particularly moved by her choice of word of pregnancy. Pregnancy, from my point of view, is one of the beautiful processes to bring miracles to this world. She indeed viewed silence as her ways of holding many things she was not able to deal with.

I was shocked by her actual experience of not talking much for over a month. Such a long time of period of organizing her stuff to realize better understanding of oneself was absolutely wonderful. I envy her courage to be able to get away from all the trivial routines in daily life to just be with oneself.

From the beginning of our 360 experience, I have always been curious as to why we, including myself at times, are uncomfortable with silence. I guess over the weeks, I have found general answers to this question especially from Chittister when she says, "Silence frightens us because it is silence that brings us face to face with ourselves." However, this does not give me any specific reasons. What about ourselves do we not want to face? Is it always something bad, for example a heartache or is it, at times, a positive--innate goodness? Why wouldn't we want to face the positive? What is questioned or what fundamental beliefs are challenged when we fully immerse ourselves in silence alone and with others?

I agreed with Chittister when she said that, in essence, daily noises "protect us from listenig to ourselves" but I think this statement does not acknowledge that the individual who is surrounded by noise has agency. It is not that the environment around us is forcing its noises on us, I feel like it is more of individuals allowing it to do so. As Professor Beard said, silence is "hardly quiet" so how and why do people go about choosing which noises, external or internal, they want to hear?

My main Sunday post is here in response to Chandrea's but I just wanted to throw something extra out there. My friend, who is a student consultant one of the college's search committee for new professors, was shocked to find out that Linda-Susan, who has a position on the same committee, is a nun. I was intrigued that this fact had never come up in the many conversations they'd had together. After telling my friend about the topic of our discussion on Thursday, I asked if Linda-Susan seemed especially contemplative to her. This came out of Linda-Susan's answer to my question that the Sisters at her monastary take strides to bring contemplation and contemplative conversations into places that they don't seem to exist. While of course this was probably not something that could be exeptionally visible to my friend, she did say something interesting in that Linda-Susan often "played devil's advocate" during their discussions. So now I'm wondering -- what place does pushing back have in contemplation? Where does disagreement fit in? By playing devil's advocate does Linda-Susan attempt to prompt her colleagues into deeper contempation over a subject? 

"Sometimes it's harder to attain inner silence than outer silence. The dog stopped barking and the kids have gone to bed, but your mind has a lot to talk about and it knows you can't pretend you're not at home." -Linda Solegato

I stumbled across this quote today and it reminded me of Thursday's class with Professor Beard. I thought she had such a peaceful presence about her, but the end of the conversation made me a little uncomfortable. We talked about the Chittister text and our discomfort with silence because "it is silence that brings us face to face with ourselves" (Chittister).

            While reading Eva’s Man, I grew more and more frustrated when her writing became more complex. I became frustrated because I lost access to a transparent storyline; as I got more confused, I got to a point where I realized that I did not have to understand what was going on. I had an epiphany that Eva’s Man seemed to be the quintessence of Doris Sommer’s piece Advertencia/Warning. Doris Sommer claims that readers “feel entitled to know everything as they approach a text … with the conspiratorial intimacy of a potential partner” in this case I became the reader who was trying to know and understand everything that was going on. She then proceeds to write, “the slap of refused intimacy from uncooperative books can slow readers down, detain them at the boundary between contact and conquest”. At first I found myself slowing down and re-reading the passage, until I realized that no matter how many times I read it, the text was meant to make me confused and to get the sense of confusion and craziness.

Last week we were talking a lot about "play" in class and this ended up seeping into another conversation in one of my other classes outside the 360 with Anne. Here's a link to that conversation if any is interested/wanted to further our conversations about the links between play and learning: /exchange/divergent-thinking#comment-139691

I think some of these comments are relevant to our voice discussion about what play means or does not mean!