September 4, 2015 - 17:01
“I am reaching for the words to describe the difference between a common identity that has been imposed and the individual identity any one of us will choose, once she gains that chance.”
—June Jordan, “Report from the Bahamas”
Often the various facets of identity are used as labels to categorize people, to reduce their identities to those facets, to separate them into groups and make assumptions about those groups, usually based on one or two shared traits, ignoring all their individual characteristics and experiences. At some time or other, we are all guilty of this, including myself. However, despite my culpability in this practice, I am no less uncomfortable when someone does this to me. I am my own person, and I cannot be defined by any label or category. Like June Jordan, I find that our relationships to other people are based not on how we identify, but on how our identity shapes ourselves and our experiences.
My religion provides some explanation for why I am so uncomfortable being expected to “fit” under a certain label. I am a Unitarian Universalist. This is a part of my identity that I openly and proudly acknowledge, but it can be difficult to define. For some people, especially in my hometown, all that matters is that I am Not Christian, and, even worse, that I am a liberal Not Christian. Others just don’t know what I am. I’m not sure that I know quite what I am, either. Unitarian Universalist is a very broad label, because Unitarian Universalism does not have a creed. It is a label that protects me from the limitations of a narrower label. I can tell someone that I am a Unitarian Universalist, and they are (usually) satisfied with regard to the religious aspect of my identity. However, I have not told them anything about my beliefs in a divinity or divinities, or what I believe happens after we die, or what (if any) moral/religious code I follow. In short, I have not answered any of the questions usually associated with religion. To fill this gap, many UUs choose another label to apply to themselves: There are UU Christians, UU Wiccans, UU Buddhists, UU Humanists, and many more combinations. I, on the other hand, have chosen to avoid answering these questions, partly because I am not yet sure what I believe, but also because my beliefs do not fit neatly into any religion but Unitarian Universalism. Any other label would limit me beyond where I feel comfortable.
Even so, the religious labels “imposed” on me, which I have accepted, have had no small impact on my interactions with others. In elementary and middle school, I attended a secular private school where I was one of only two Not Christians in my grade. Always fond of a lively debate, I would often goad my classmates into a discussion on religion, knowing that I was outnumbered, but expecting the other Not Christian, a girl whom I knew to identify as atheist, to join in on my side. I acknowledged the label imposed on both of us, and thought that it would connect us, establish an alliance between us. This was true to a certain extent, but she was not as comfortable with those discussions in which I delighted, and thus would typically stay out of them as much as possible. In trying to connect with her over a common identity, I risked alienating her due to our differences in personality and behavior, just as I risked alienating my classmates by pitting myself against them.
Within my church, identities can also both unify and alienate us. Each of us is a Unitarian Universalist, which means that we “affirm and promote” the same Seven Principles that guide our behavior toward ourselves, each other, and the world around us. As expected, this label connects us. Discord arises, however, when those other religious labels come into play. The mention of sensitive subjects, such as “god,” can offend those who do not believe in any god, and cause conflict among those who believe in different variants of god.
Through my experiences with religion, I have seen how our identities can bring us together and push us apart, even if it is an identity which we share. What ultimately connects us is shared experiences, as well as our desire to connect. If the will is not there, all we will see is our differences, as when anger causes different religious identities to collide in my church. If however, a connection is sought, we can find the similarities necessary to unite us. Labels are created by people; thus, we have the power to choose which ones are imposed, and which ones truly matter.