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Surrendering to All That Is - Sacred Paths

Srucara's picture

"We are wounded in all the right places" - from Wounded by 1 Giant Leap

There were very few people outside at around 8pm at night and I was alone in my journey from main campus to my dorm. I briefly passed by my site on the way and immediately felt an impulse to visit it, to meet it. I turned back a few steps and crossed the grass into the pathway. I noticed the trees looked barer than ever before and the ground was soft and dense beneath my shoes. I was exhausted and felt weary. I walked in front of the labyrinth and stopped. I stared at the circles before me and I felt moved to walk the labyrinth once more. I imagined how the creator (of the labyrinth) had first asked permission from the trees and the ground to build it here and envisioned the power/energetic quality present at the site. I stepped on the path and began walking, imagining myself walking through my own life. As I neared the center of the circle, the path emerged outward once more, and I was away from the center until finally, after the 7th rotation, I emerged into the center. Feeling the chilling breeze on my face and in my hair, I looked skyward. The brilliant stars were clearly visible in the slightly cloudy sky, and I looked into space. My knees grew weak and I fell to the floor, kneeling at the center of the circle. What a most humbling feeling, to be confronted with the vastness of the night sky, of the universe and kneeling at its majestic glory. I bent forward, touching my forhead to the chilled ground and whispered a silent prayer, for guidance in this life, for a path to healing. 

If one thing is certain, it's that we are all wounded. I know that to the deepest layer of my bones, because otherwise we would not be here now. I am here now, and I am wounded. And as the years of my life pass on, these wounds stare me in the face. However, accustomed to performing societal expectations and busy with my life, I turn away. But the more I turn away, the more painful and unbearable my life becomes for me. The intensity to which I am subject to fear, sadness and a feeling of disconnection increases the more I avoid these wounds. So what choice do I have left than to begin the journey of healing? If I am to maintain my sanity, if I am to find happiness and peace, it is time to heal. But then the questions arise. What am I to heal, if I don't even know what these wounds are? They are sly, and they are clever - they hide deeply in our beings, embedded in the deepest layers and guarded with steel doors and chains. But they can be subject to erosion - as water erodes rock, so can the water in our veins and our hearts erode our wounds, and bring them to a state of renewal. Discovering these wounds is a treasure hunt in itself, I am forced to find courage and patience within myself. I am forced to be kind and gentle with myself. I am forced to be willing to find and spend the time necessary to seek within what most search for without. I must bear the sleepless nights, when I am too scared to fall asleep. I must bear the days of isolation, if I am to move through the resistance. I must allow the tears to fall freely, if I am to release suppressed emotion. I must protect myself when I am in these fragile states, and trust that I will be guided and protected by all that is. I must trust that although the sun has set in this moment and darkness surrounds me, it will rise again in the morning - a new dawn with new promise. I must bear many things in this process of discovering my wounds, and open them one at a time, layer by layer. This is certainly not something that can be completed overnight, but the journey of a lifetime. This journey can be overwhelmingly lonely at times, but in my loneliness I learn to discover friendship with myself. I learn to give myself all that I need, at my behest. As we near towards the center of the circle, we will find, that as an ocean is abundant in itself, unmoved by the rivers flowing in and out of it, so are we - abundant and filled. It is only a matter of remembrance, of acceptance. Kneeling on the ground with a trembling heart - at the center of the labyrinth, the journey of life, I surrender to all that is. 

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