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Still processing Anne's class, how to compartmentalize

Sarah's picture

Today was an emotionally intense Silence class.  It's been a few hours since class ended, but my mind is still racing, and processing.  But its 6:45 and that means my post for Barb's class is already late.  I was planning on writing a post about how the language of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (technically last week’s reading, though I believe we’re discussing tomorrow) reading bothered me and was damage centered, but I couldn't even focus enough to pull quotes out and explain, and it seemed disingenuous to post just for the sake of posting.  But now I’m struggling with whether it’s better to not post if I’m just writing to get my checkmark or whatever, or whether it’s unfair to Barb that I am not committing enough time to her class because I feel so emotionally all over the place from another class. Should I be able to compartmentalize? Is it because the nature of the 360 that I feel I can even post these thoughts and not actually respond to the assignment? I don’t really know, looking forward to the 360 lunch tomorrow, hoping I’ll be more centered by the class time.



jo's picture


snaps to all three of you. and really to everyone in this class. Like sara and uninhibited, I have been drawn to serendip after our class discussion today. I'm finally sitting down to write somthing, because I feel like it would be irresponsible not to post in some way for Barb's class as well. But the posts and silence papers have really derailed me; now I understand why Ann said she didn't want to respond to them. She is using it as a statement, as a way of honoring our words, but personally I think I would be way to overwhelmed to respond to all of them. All I can say is that I feel so lucky to be able to share this experience with all of you, and I hope that everyone is benefiting from it as much as I am, even though it's easy to be angry and frustrated that the rest of the world is not the same as our 360. Maybe we need to be more angry. I feel so sad and bogged down by all of the injustice we learn about, and often find myself "leaving class with a heavy heart" as Esty said. I know I'm not alone because of how many people said that those words really affected them, but what do we do to change that. I'm learning so much, but this heaviness doesn't feel like a very productive feeling. In a way, I envy Sasha's anger, and wish I could feel that more strongly.

Uninhibited's picture

I agree with both of you.

I agree with both of you. Lately, I've been trying (and failing) to not log into serendip as much, because I end up spending hours reading what everybody has posted. I feel a very strong urge to read what everyone has to say, not necessarily respond, but just listen. I think we have a wonderful space for dialogue here. 

sara.gladwin's picture

I completely feel you

I've been trying to write a post since I got out of class, and it is now 9pm at night. I couldn't distance myself from class today either. On top of everything, I felt so guilty for not bringing myself to write something for tomorrow. I'm glad you posted this. I was thinking of posting something similar but had not found the right words, and still quite haven't found them.

I've been reading our serendip forum for several hours now, just reading everyone's posts and comments and papers from the past couple weeks. I felt like if I could not verbalize how I was feeling, I should listen instead. While I think it ended up being a little more overwhelming (especially because I am in the middle of reading everyone's silence papers), I was continuously reminded of what an amazing group of people this is. I wish I had something more eloquent to say about everything, but I'm still trying to organize how I feel. The point is, I am so grateful to be in these classes with all of you.