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Somewhere between Inspiration and Creation - A Process of Life
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A few of my most favorite readings from this course include Terry Tempest Williams, Thoreau, The Lives of Animals, Nature Writing for Women (article), as well as Solnit, Laduke, Bohm, and Berry. I found these pieces to be incredibly insightful and eye-opening. I found many of the other readings to be interesting, but either not particularly intriguing or too dense. I found Waring’s essay to be a bit too dense – especially because I am not very fond of economics - and LeGuins science fiction piece to not be particularly interesting for me (I prefer nonfiction or realistic fiction). So the challenge came here then – being able to pay attention and try my best in understanding the pieces I found rather difficult or uninteresting to read. I certainly grew as a reader in this course – through the wide variety of pieces we have read from various fields, I found that I was exposed to numerous different types of writing and readings. I also was able to find a balance between noticing the sections of a reading I should pay close attention to – enough so that I had understood the main points - and those that I could skim – whereas traditionally in an academic course I used to read every passage word for word. Of course there were those pieces however (Tempest Williams, Sonit, Berry, Lives of Animals) that I could not resist reading every word.
With respect to participation in group work, I realize that I have engaged readily with the capacity of what I had to offer on a subject – some days I had more to offer on the current subject than others – when class was based heavily upon analyzing the readings critically or the writing styles of the authors’ critically – I did not participate as much but I enjoyed discussing content and connecting the topics at hand to other things I have learned in my life. I enjoyed sharing little anecdotes and stories from different places in my life in class and on serendip and introducing everyone to different speakers (Jill Bolte Taylor) artists (Davy Sicard) and Images (Blood Vessels in the Earth – Personal Photography) as well as stories from various fields of thought – Quantum Mechanics, Neuroscience, etc. I enjoyed the balance between collaboration and individual work as well. When I collaborated with rachelr and froggies315 on the Morris Woods project – I found the result of our collaboration to be rich beyond my expectations and had a similar experience when collaborating with eetong. It is evident then, that this course encourages a focus on the process – and by doing so – the result becomes that much more significant and beautiful.
In terms of participating on Serendip, I notice I had engaged on Serendip – in waves of activity. There would be certain periods during the semester when I was more engaged than others. But I feel that I had struck a good balance between stand-alone writing, commenting on others posts, and engaging in thoughtful conversations with others online. I found that many of my (and others) site-sits seemed to be stand-alone posts but I did encounter engaging conversations in which I had discussed intriguing topics (neuroscience, education, boundaries, crises) with my classmates in thread format. I really enjoyed reading comments from my classmates on my works (which I feel I received a good amount of), I found it to be helpful and encouraging to continue to produce similar work or share further insights and ideas. I found the amount of work I placed in each of my posts on Serendip varied – I noticed that many of my comments on others works were sometimes short and a few sentences long and othertimes much longer and sometimes I would spend hours crafting a site-sit or outside reference (Invitation to Be and Become through the Labyrinth). I have however, spent quite a bit of time and effort on my web-events, not really caring for the amount of work that I am pouring in because I truly enjoyed producing and creating them – either in collaboration with others or myself. I suppose this goes back to the emphasis on process – by familiarizing myself with the Morris woods over the course of multiple visits, by journeying through the campus multiple times and reflecting and photographing carefully (thoreuvian walk) – by conversing with a fellow classmate over and over and over to spark the perfect combination of dialogue and conversation – I was able to create and co-create the web papers. This is far different from the traditional, linear, “sit-down-till-its-done” method of working. My final web-event, took multiple weeks, and multiple journeys, and many, many hours as it had numerous parts to it – but I found myself intrigued by every part, and did not feel punished but rather belated and inspired in the process of creation.
Before my first site sit, I had written a personal goal for my time in this class/semester: “to push myself to the edge with respect to the boundaries of the mind - to what extent can I release them? To what extent can I set myself free? To what extent will I be lost? While visiting this site, I wish to be aware of my surroundings, willing to let go, open to life, and commence the healing process.” In my final site sit – although the site had changed from the Taft garden to the labyrinth, it seems the theme in which I experienced my site sits and my growth as a result of them has not changed. I write in Surrendering to All That Is, “I must bear many things in this process of discovering my wounds, and open them one at a time, layer by layer. This is certainly not something that can be completed overnight, but the journey of a lifetime.” Essentially, I had affirmed in my final post, that not only had I consciously commenced the healing process (between the first post and the last), I had even developed the courage and strength to continue forward in the journey of healing. My wish to “open into life” has strengthened throughout the course of the semester – catalyzed by this course – and just by reviewing my posts, my discussions in class and out of class, and my web papers I notice a gradual development of opening into life. My mid semester evaluation focused on the “experimentation” aspect of the course and my final self-evaluation focuses on the “process” aspect of the course. I found that through experimentation, patience, and finding the courage to ask myself what it is I truly want to learn in my projects, collaboration, class discussion, and even my engagement with the readings – I found I learned an incredible amount this semester. This is the first time in my life - I made learning my own – in an academic setting. Reflecting on my past and even in my current courses – I find that learning is something very methodical, structured, and linear where the student receives information from the teacher. I found this course to push me beyond this restrictive format of learning and actively grasp for what it is that interests me – and run with it. There was a fantastic balance of structure – where we learned things as a communal group, and opportunity to create my own learning and then share it with everyone. I found myself sharing aspects of our course not only amongst my classmates but my friends on campus, outside of Bryn Mawr, and my family. I have found, then, that my learning edge lies somewhere between inspiration and creation. How much will I allow myself to open up and be inspired and what will I do with this inspiration to help make the world a better place? This applies across the board – to every aspect of life. It is very easy to go through life with blindfolds on – not really seeing anything around us, feeling stuck and stagnant. It is not easy, however, to be willing to remove the blindfold and see what we haven’t seen there before and move forward with new wisdom. This skill – alongside much more - is what I take from this class, and what I am incredibly grateful for.