Prayer? whaaa?

So with Thrusday’s Silence class came along some “prayer” and when Anne was talking about the activity we were going to do, I could not help but begin to feel a little anxious. And if I can recall correctly, I remember mentioning that in class. Anywho, I just want to reflect on why exactly I felt that way. I think a lot of it has to do with my apprehensions with religion. and I don’t think that these apprehensions really have to do with the idea of religion versus an actual type of religion. The class activity went better than I expected, even though I found myself asking a lot of questions during the praying section and not necessarily having/getting any answers…

For me, praying has always seemed a little weird and uncomfortable for me. Growing up, my mother did take me to church when she could. I clearly remember doing my classes to be able to do my first communion and this could be where my negative ideas of religion have stemmed from. When I signed up for the classes, I was excited. I was going to be able to learn something new, be in a class with some of my friends and all at the same time, meet new people. But the classes were terrible. The lady who taught them was a member of the church and a woman I was always intimidated b; a façade that I was terrified of. I had no idea that she was going to be the one teaching these classes. The worst part was she took the fun out of the classes. She would test us on our prayers by pulling us from class individually and reciting them back to her one-on-one. Now maybe this is why prayer is a word I don’t have a positive relationship with. Along with that, the idea of talking to something/someone unknown feels like a silly activity.

Religion has also been a common thought during our trips to the Cannery, especially when it comes to the women describing how they feel at the end of the day. It’s always “blessed”.

So as we go into our section on silence in religion, I am half heartedly looking forward to and half way hesitant. I would love a new view but am worried mine won’t change because I’ve had mine for a while now. I guess I will see…