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Final Paper - TB
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Before reading this poem I want to explain my thinking behind it. My thesis was about lesbian jokes, so I have been thinking about the use of the turkey baster quite alot. This poem and accompanying etchings display the intractions of gender, information, science, and technology. Though lesbians don't actually use turkey basters to inseminate their partners, the idea of repurposement is essential. People have taken a kitchen tool and made it to be a stand in for a penis. The poem discusses how a person can make quick judgments about gender based on physcial attributes. It also looks at how a simple piece of plastic has been made into a powerful, life giving tool of science. It is not only the symbol of a joke, but it also symbolizes how much sexuality can influence all four of the areas we have studied. I did not keep a set rhyme scheme, but I think that lends to the humor. I am not posting the etchings though because I would rather not put my artwork on the internet.
TB
It all began
When they locked eyes.
One was quite small
With shapely thighs.
And the other was huge
With hands the same size.
As they circled the party
Stealing slight glances
The smaller one thought
“Where are his advances?
I’ve thrown him the line
Why not reel me on in?
I know I’m not ugly,
So what’s wrong with him?”
Little did she know
The he was a she
One who liked straight girls,
As straight as can be.
She didn’t know what
Possessed her to like them
Maybe something inside
Perhaps in her brain stem.
No matter the cause
The problem still existed
Gender, sexuality, and sex
Are always being twisted.
Straight is not gay
And gay is not straight
Yet there are blurry lines
When choosing a date.
After a while
They both let down their guard
The smaller one said
“Now that wasn’t so hard.”
They exchanged phone numbers
Promising to call the next day
When she realized that she
Didn’t know she was gay!
All through the meal
She wanted to tell her
But she decided to wait
Until after some liquor.
She knew it would boost
Her confidence quick
Just hoping and praying
She wouldn’t get sick.
Then the time came
They had ended up in her house
She still hadn’t spilled it
And felt like a louse.
Up to the bedroom
They hustled along
With that kind of chemistry
Nothing could go wrong.
They fell to the bed
And started to strip
When the little one caught
A glimpse round the hip.
“You are a girl!?
Why didn’t you tell me?
I only like boys,
It’s for them I go crazy.”
“You liked me before,
Something was there.
So what about my gender,
Why do you care?”
She jumped off the bed
And gave her a kiss
Thinking that life
Is a hit or a miss.
She was caught off guard
By how much she liked it.
Her head swelled with thoughts
Saying submit, SUBMIT.
Yet she stood her ground
And looked sadly back
“You aren’t who I thought,
It’s equipment you lack.
Besides, there is one thing
You really can’t give.
I really want babies,
They’re the reason I live!”
She fell down decidedly
Beaten and distressed
While the little one got up
And started to get dressed.
Then a light went on
And she jumped to her feet
“Hold on just one second
I’ve got someone you should meet!”
So she ran to her closet
To grab something wrapped up tight.
It was long and phallic
Kind of yellow in the light.
“Meet TB
I’ve waited to use him
‘Til the moment was right
And I needed that limb.”
TB was a tool
Most people used in the kitchen
Except when it came
To lesbians on a mission.
She raised it up high
And said with a shout,
“What do you say,
Are you in or are you out?
I’ve wanted children too,
And I think you’re just right.
I’m a lesbian after all,
We move in after one night!
So please look beyond
What you’ve been taught before
Let’s make a baby,
Maybe three or four!”
That night they came together
And joined in love as one
The little one proclaimed,
“I’ve been missing so much fun!”
They reveled at the genius
Of the turkey baster’s use
It could sauce a chicken
Or pregnancies induce!