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Final Paper - TB

jlebouvier's picture

Before reading this poem I want to explain my thinking behind it. My thesis was about lesbian jokes, so I have been thinking about the use of the turkey baster quite alot. This poem and accompanying etchings display the intractions of gender, information, science, and technology. Though lesbians don't actually use turkey basters to inseminate their partners, the idea of repurposement is essential. People have taken a kitchen tool and made it to be a stand in for a penis. The poem discusses how a person can make quick judgments about gender based on physcial attributes. It also looks at how a simple piece of plastic has been made into a powerful, life giving tool of science. It is not only the symbol of a joke, but it also symbolizes how much sexuality can influence all four of the areas we have studied. I did not keep a set rhyme scheme, but I think that lends to the humor. I am not posting the etchings though because I would rather not put my artwork on the internet.



It all began

When they locked eyes.

One was quite small

With shapely thighs.

 And the other was huge

With hands the same size.


As they circled the party

Stealing slight glances

The smaller one thought

“Where are his advances?

I’ve thrown him the line

Why not reel me on in?

I know I’m not ugly,

So what’s wrong with him?”


Little did she know

The he was a she

 One who liked straight girls,

As straight as can be.

She didn’t know what

Possessed her to like them

Maybe something inside

Perhaps in her brain stem.


No matter the cause

The problem still existed

Gender, sexuality, and sex

Are always being twisted.

Straight is not gay

And gay is not straight

Yet there are blurry lines

When choosing a date.


After a while

They both let down their guard

The smaller one said

“Now that wasn’t so hard.”

They exchanged phone numbers

Promising to call the next day

When she realized that she

Didn’t know she was gay!


All through the meal

She wanted to tell her

But she decided to wait

Until after some liquor.

She knew it would boost

Her confidence quick

Just hoping and praying

She wouldn’t get sick.


Then the time came

They had ended up in her house

She still hadn’t spilled it

And felt like a louse.

Up to the bedroom

They hustled along

With that kind of chemistry

Nothing could go wrong.


They fell to the bed

And started to strip

When the little one caught

A glimpse round the hip.

“You are a girl!?

Why didn’t you tell me?

I only like boys,

It’s for them I go crazy.”


“You liked me before,

Something was there.

So what about my gender,

Why do you care?”

She jumped off the bed

And gave her a kiss

Thinking that life

Is a hit or a miss.


She was caught off guard

By how much she liked it.

Her head swelled with thoughts

Saying submit, SUBMIT.

Yet she stood her ground

And looked sadly back

“You aren’t who I thought,

It’s equipment you lack.

Besides, there is one thing

You really can’t give.

I really want babies,

They’re the reason I live!”


She fell down decidedly

Beaten and distressed

While the little one got up

And started to get dressed.

Then a light went on

And she jumped to her feet

“Hold on just one second

I’ve got someone you should meet!”


So she ran to her closet

To grab something wrapped up tight.

It was long and phallic

Kind of yellow in the light.

“Meet TB

I’ve waited to use him

‘Til the moment was right

And I needed that limb.”


TB was a tool

Most people used in the kitchen

Except when it came

To lesbians on a mission.

She raised it up high

And said with a shout,

“What do you say,

Are you in or are you out?


I’ve wanted children too,

And I think you’re just right.

I’m a lesbian after all,

We move in after one night!

So please look beyond

What you’ve been taught before

Let’s make a baby,

Maybe three or four!”


That night they came together

And joined in love as one

The little one proclaimed,

“I’ve been missing so much fun!”

They reveled at the genius

Of the turkey baster’s use

It could sauce a chicken

Or pregnancies induce!