Full Cold Moon

There is some really great play with words and sounds in this piece.  I particularly like the line "A loan, alone, a rolling stone."  The penultimate line doesn't work quite as well for me.  The word, escape, doesn't fit in with the words, remove and remain.  I would suggest taking out the word, escape.  The end-rhyme is really nice.  It is subtle in the beginning of the poem and increases in frequency and regularity.  The sound of the poem becomes more ordered, whether or not the narrator's brain does.  In fact, the sound of the poem resolves nicely at the end.  For me, the sound diverges from the meaning of the poem.  It's a well-crafted juxtaposition.