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 I'm writing in response to this paragraph:

Men are much less wishy-washy at home. I hope I don't offend anyone by saying that, but that's my opinion. But on the flip side, they're much less emotional and have a lot more trouble communicating and being perceptive about other people's feelings, etc. I'm generally conflicted about which of these two categories of masculinity that I think is more "healthy" (I can't think of a better word...).

I don't really think you should be worried about people being offended by this statement. True, it's kind of a generalizing remark, but it's one that isn't far off from the truth. Maybe instead of saying men are less emotional, it would be more accurate to say that they don't have the means to express much emotion beyond anger? It seems like boys and men have been programmed to oppress any other emotional responses because according to the bullies on the elementary school playground, that makes them sissies and wimps. I've been trying to communicate with a lot of men lately, albeit mostly with those who are in reach of me, and I get the sense that this is changing in some ways. I mentioned Ortner's "big man" idea to a friend, and this is how he responded:

"I'm not so sure if we're still completely stuck in a big-man culture. I think there's a small but growing niche of not just acceptance but desire for a different type of man. In a partner, father, brother, homosexual partner, everything. But it's still there. However, not driven by some outright societal injustice."

And I know I shared this website before, but I want to bring it back when it's more appropriate: http://www.chadstates.com/masculinities/

These are just images of men. Men standing or sitting, being, in their surroundings, but each one has something to say about his masculinity. Some offer thoughts that reinforce the idea that men don't communicate as easily and have to hide their feelings, while others suggest that something else in going on somewhere. Parker says, "I have been called a SNAG (sensitive new age guy) a renaissance man, a man in touch with his feminine side, etc...I think that I am masculine in the sense of self-reliance." While the first one, Bill, admits that he is "strong emotionally" but has to reinforce that admission with a proof of himself: "[I] have always stood up for myself, and fear nothing. I happen to be physically strong..."

Has anyone else heard of SNAG before? I've never heard of this phrase until now...