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hm. i...i agree that starving oneself is not a good thing to do. but i think that (at least in her book Hello, Cruel World) Kate isn't really promoting starving oneself--at least not in the sense of being like "hey, everyone, starving yourself is a perfectly fine thing to do--go do it." i think the real message is that you should do whatever you need to do in order to not kill yourself (preferably as long as it doesn't hurt others).

and i think that there are different levels of self-harm and that some are worse than others. suicide is final. if you kill yourself, that's the end. (let's not get into questions of whether people go to heaven or whatnot--at least your life as you know it here on earth is over.) starving oneself is not a great thing to do. it can be fatal. but that's the thing--it can be fatal, not it always is fatal. and in her book, Kate makes it clear that starving oneself is a very dangerous thing to do. i think the message is that if starving yourself for a time is going to keep you from intentionally killing yourself immediately, then you should do whatever you need to in order to keep from directly killing yourself. one step at a time.

starving yourself...it's something that can be overcome. i'm not saying that it'll be easy, but it's a hell of a lot more possible than overcoming death. yes, it can lead to dying, and that's a very real and terrifying possibility, but there's more time to try to stop it.

i think her point is just, if the only thing that will keep you from outright killing yourself is skipping meals, or cutting yourself, or doing something else like that, then do what it takes to keep yourself alive.

some quotes from her book Hello Cruel World: "Cutting yourself is a valid alternative to killing yourself if you feel it is your least self-harming option, but it can quickly spiral out of control. If you're cutting--or if you're thinking about it--it doesn't make you a bad person. But what's your reason for cutting? To heal? To feel? To punish? There are other, safer ways to do all these things. Please do not start cutting yourself if you can help it" (200).

"So bleed, if that's what it takes to keep you alive another day. If you're going to cut yourself, please try to cut with conscious self-love, never with self-loathing. If you're doing that, or you're cutting yourself out of anger or disgust, or you feel that it's getting out of control, see a doctor because you're in over your head and you need help" (201).

"Starving yourself is a valid alternative to killing yourself, but only just barely. If you're starving yourself either by not eating or by throwing up what you eat--or if you're thinking about doing that--it doesn't make you a bad person, but you do need medical help. Use another alternative in this book to stay alive while you stop doing this one. This alternative is the most deadly in the book" (206).

about anorexia, she say, "there is no real payoff except the few more days it gives you to find some other reason to stay alive" (207).

with all of the "self-harm" alternatives to suicide come the keywords "if you must." i think that she's really not taking the dangers lightly.

i also liked that she emphasizes that this (starving yourself, cutting yourself) doesn't make you a bad person. i think that sometimes, there can be such guilt associated with eating disorders and cutting and things like that (because they "shouldn't be tolerated" and are "bad"), that some people don't reach out for the help they need. and that's not a good thing.

i know i'm being really repetitive, and i'm sorry. i guess i'm just hoping that at least one of the ways i've tried to phrase what i feel will make sense. clearly, i feel strongly about this. and i'm all for more discussion with anyone who feels like responding; i'm not trying to shut down the conversation with my (admittedly really really long) post.