Reply to comment

While I agree that it is really important to respect people when they are talking, I feel that you may have misinterpreted some people's gestures. You mentioned that you've seen people "raise their hand and put it down on the desk, or run it through their hair, only to raise it back up again," and you feel that it shows that people "don't really care what the other person is saying." 

I respectfully disagree, at least in some cases. I feel that for myself, at least, raising my hand when I have something I wish to say is so ingrained in me that it's sometimes more of a reflex than a conscious decision. Generally, I raise my hand when I am interested in what someone is saying, not because I don't care. I realize that sometimes we can focus too much on what we plan to say than what the current speaker is saying, and that isn't good. I'm not trying to excuse that. And I'm sorry if it's distracting when people raise their hands (and I mean this sincerely, which might be difficult to tell given that I'm typing and not speaking). I really am trying to be better about not raising my hand until after someone is completely done speaking. Unfortunately, it's still rather a work in progress; some days I do better than others. And sometimes, I have an idea, raise my hand, realize that my hand is raised and might be signaling that I'm not paying attention, and lower my hand as soon as my brain has made all of the appropriate connections. Hopefully, that will happen fewer times as the semester goes on.

I think that while it sounds good in theory to wait and process a few seconds after someone is done speaking, conversation doesn't always happen in a nice and measured fashion. And I don't know how to pause my thoughts; I really try to give my full attention to whoever is speaking when I've got something to say, I really do, but I think it's common for people to think of responses while they listen. It's why conversations often don't consist of one person speaking, then a long pause as the second person formulates all of their thoughts, then the second person speaking, and so on. We may not always be very good at multitasking in listening and thinking at the same time, admittedly, but I think that it's something people do a lot.

And sometimes people are rude and aren't paying attention to the speaker when they have their hands raised and are waiting to be called upon. I'm not trying to deny that. And sometimes the rude person is me. I'm not trying to deny that, either, although I try not to be that person very often. I just think that it's not always the case that people who raise their hands while others are talking aren't paying attention. And I don't know what we should do; I have no brilliant solution. Until we come up with something else, I guess I'm just going to keep trying to do better at not raising my hand while someone's talking.