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Skepticism instead
The internal dialogue continues.
Maybe it isn't about a disconnect over the difference between dissonance and disrespect at all. Maybe instead it's all about skepticism.
How will I model that? How will I train my brain? While I don't have the subjectivity/objectivity hurdle, nor am I wed to the idea of being a conductor---what I do have is a choke-hold "everyone has to be responsible for their own ideas" tape playing. The kind of loop that says I put out my ideas and you put out your ideas and it really doesn't bother me if we don't agree. Not the same as skepticism, not even close. My other fall back, seeing everyone's position, again not skepticism about my own thoughts.
I'm going to go talk to myself some more about skepticism and emergence...hoping to being able to examine my emerging thoughts skeptically in light of what other people think on this topic so that I can participate in a transactional emergent process.