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alesnick's picture

asking questions v providing solutions

In my other course, we are reading The Art of Being a Healing Presence, by Miller and Cutshall. They define healing presence as "the condition of being consciously and compassionately in the present moment with another or others, believing in and affirming their potential for wholeness, wherever they are in life" (p. 12).  They talk about the pressure of our busy world to do something, to be effective, and how unhelpful that can be to being in relationships, even short-term ones, based on awaiting/holding/and sitting with another's capacity for growth, and our own. The book is also sprinkled with quotes, like this one, from Teresa of Avila: "To reach something good, it is helpful to have gone astray, and thus acquire experience" (p.22).  Brittney, your story and reflections are very helpul in this connection.  It is understandable that in this moment with your mentee, you were drawn to the sense of haste, pressure, high stakes, and ends-orientation that characterized your own college-seeking experience.  It is hard to keep all of these pressures at bay and hold with the certainty that the other person is capable, even through struggle, of moving forward in wholeness.  I think you can still draw on your experience and knowledge while at the same time opening space for the student to breathe in new possibilities for self-expression.  Your "mistake" (see our Twitter thread on same) is a vital part of the process.

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