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Dear Nancy and Mfon,

After reading your experience with Chinese girls, I have a really complex feeling. On the one hand, I feel guilty and ashamed for what my peers did to you, on the other hand, I really want to say that in spite of the fact that almost half of the international students are Chinese, all the international students are actually appear as a minor group here on campus—the difficulties and feelings we have are identical in many ways. I don’t mean to explain anything for them to you, but I do want to write some of my feelings down as a Chinese girl.

It is true that when Chinese girls get together, we usually talk in Chinese a lot. For me, talking in mother language just simply makes me more comfortable and relaxed, but obviously it is not appropriate to talk in Chinese when there are other students from other countries on the spot. I totally understand how you feel being excluded about surrounded by a bunch of Chinese girls and listening them talk in a language that you completely don’t understand—it’s exactly what I feel when I surrounded by American girls and listen to them talk extremely fast about TV shows. But should I blame them for picking topics that I have no idea about and making me uneasy? Nope. Nobody should be blamed—cultural capital is something that we are born with and can never have choice. Having difficulties understanding language is an indicator of the gap between people with different cultural capitals. Things get worse when you are in minority, because your needs and feelings are more likely to be neglected. Within international students, you may feel being excluded by Chinese students; as international students, we are m“If you don’t speak English, then go home.” It’s kinda true in many ways. I have to admit that living in an environment that most people share different values is more difficult than I thought, sometimes I just feel I’m like an outsider. But I keep reminding myself that it is my own choice to study abroad, I need to be responsible for myself; I need to bear a series of outcomes following by my decision. I clearly know that if I want to get a job here in the States, then I need to work much harder than Americans to be qualified. I always believe that when I look back my experience as a foreign student one day, all the difficulties and challenges that I am facing right now will be a great great treasure for my entire life.

At last I just want to say that though we have many Chinese girls on campus, we are all from different provinces and cities. It still takes time for me to make friends with other Chinese girls because of different backgrounds. I hope these words can make you guys feel better. 

Ellen