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To Better One's Self
Hello All,
It has taken me forever to write something on this blog. I can give you a variety of reasons, but I think I would probably put 'denial' at the top of that list. Today is a pretty dreary day and as such really mirrors my mood. I have been reading this blog on an almost daily basis and I am truly amazed to say that I thought it was impossible to care about and respect Paul more than I already did - but hearing about his endless interactions and unwavering support of others has once again made the impossible - possible. Thanks for that Paul. I met Paul my Sophomore year at BMC - a period of time during which I really had no idea who I was or what I was going to do with my life.
To give you a little bit of background - I was an international student - my family lived (and still lives) in Athens, Greece. My freshman year was a disaster and as a Sophomore I was hanging on by a thread. I was on academic probation and as far as I was concerned felt that I lacked dedication and drive.
ENTER PAUL.
The first class that I took with Paul was Neurobiology and Behavior - for the first time in a long time I wanted to get to class in the morning - to listen to Paul tell me that I basically knew very little about "the big picture" - what a relief - no wonder I was so under-dedicated and unmotivated :) Days turned into weeks and Paul and I moved our interactions from the classroom to his office. I remember the countless hours I spent sitting across from him complaining, staring, humming, studying, reading, talking... Paul seemed to put life and life's problems into perspective. Thinking back I cannot even recall what I was complaining about, but no issue that I had was too insignificant for Paul to discuss. For the first time since I left home and traveled across the Atlantic to attend college in a foreign country - did I feel like an adult. Paul's questions about my life, or discussions were what I believe allowed me to make that transition from naive high school student to still very naive but more grown up college student.
I remember one thing in particular Paul used to do to me - on the days when I would enter his office claiming that my life was a "shit storm" and that I was unprepared for an exam, a presentation, a meeting with another professor, etc. etc. Paul used to say "Lisa, where are you know?"... I would say "the biology department".... and Paul would respond with "In what city?"
L: "Bryn Mawr"
P: "State?"
L: "Pennsylvania"
P: "Country?"
L: "U.S.A"
P: "Planet?"
L: "Earth"
P: "Galaxy?"
L: "Paul what is the point here?!!!!!!!"
P: "Well you aren't thinking about the initial problem are you?"
:) :) :) :) This is how Paul dealt with my high-strung personality and tendency to complain.
In reality as I sit here and write I realize that I could go on and on and on with memories and stories and ideas that Paul instilled in me. But what I feel that I need to say is that Paul changed me. He fundamentally changed the way I think and what I value. Paul left an imprint on both my heart and my mind. I can say - without a doubt - that I have never met anyone like Paul and do not believe that I ever will again. Paul was an extraordinary human being, a caring mentor and a friend when I needed one. Paul made me feel like it was okay that I didn't have everything figured out. That it was okay I made mistakes, and that it was those mistakes that made me unique. I will miss Paul everyday. The thought of returning to BMC over and over and him never again being there near breaks my heart. But those imprints that he made are never going anywhere and that reassures me.
One of the most remarkable individuals I have known in my short 24 years. Paul Grobstein inspired me in ways I do not even know how to explain. He is one of the select few who I consider responsible for making me a biology major and the individual I am today. Those lucky enough to have known Paul understand.
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