Chandrea's blog

I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to write this paper. I can't tell if it was because I got to think out loud and formulate my thesis during my one-on-one with Professor Cohen or if it was because it was a topic that I could write about forever because I was a part of the interviewing process too. My paper largely focused on the experiences of first-year Posse scholars so far and how the scholarship has benefited them. I interviewed three of my friends from the Posse and it was interesting to hear their answers because they were very much the type of answers I would've given because I'm going through the same things as them. It was so nice to not have to look for a reading and cite authors and squeeze quotes into my paper. Citing other readings from our classes just seem to be particularly difficult to me for some reason. Sometimes I'll write a paper with my claim and my personal thoughts and then someone will suggest that I use a reading to back my claim up. I didn't have to do that this time because my source of reading was my own self! I took my own notes and I was able to make a profound claim all on my own, not based on some other scholar who had the idea first.

For some reason, I had a lot of difficulty writing about this particular subject. I was fascinated by Bryn Mawr's history and the story behind its architecture and students but I felt so disconnected that I didn't know how it applied to my personal space, which was my room. I ended up describing my room and the comfort I feel when I'm in it, and how I'm learning to accept it as a version of my home away from "home". I wrote about the importance of living on campus and how much better a college experience one has in comparison to a student living off-campus. When size and price of the rooms play a huge role in how one interacts with others at college, I could see how isolated a student who had to live off-campus would've felt. I feel spoiled.

I actually got around to investigating who lived in my room before my roommate and I moved in by reading the mini plaques bolted to the walls and it seems that Mildred Durand was the first ever to live in my room in 1905. And then I wondered if she brought along her house maid... 

While I was writing my paper, I reflected on the changes that I've seen in myself and a lot of those changes resulted from many of the topics that we discussed. I didn't think learning about the different types of education that children receive all over the nation would have some sort of affect on me. For example, after writing my paper about access to education, I spent a lot of time outside of class thinking about my thesis. I've never had that type of experience before. After getting a grade on a paper in high school I would just toss it to the side and that would be the last time I thought about my argument. After discovering the huge impact ESL classes had on my learning, I was eager to come home to relearn my native language and interact with my grandparents (who mainly speak Khmer). I wanted to gain back what my childhood education took away from me. I never thought hard ahout how education extends beyond the classroom.

Like many of the people who have previously posted, I'm not sure what to expect. I went a urban/suburban public high school so I'd like to see what it's like for students who go to a special admit public high school. I'd like to know more about how the selection process works. The pictures of the students that were shown during the presentation made them look like a fun bunch! I wonder if I'll be able to relate to them when we compare our high school experiences. I expect that they'll be open to talk about their experiences at their school and their interactions with their teachers and fellow students. I wonder if they'd be able to point out flaws about their school (if there are any) and if they have done anything to address any issues that they see. My high school was nice and all but I had no problems pointing out what could be changed. I also expect them to talk about college plans and possibly ranting about SATs and the Common App (it'll make me cringe) but it'll still be nice to reminisce about such a stressful time and know that I don't have to worry about it anymore...

I really enjoyed Kai's poem and although I'm not black, I found myself relating to the experiences she was describing because I would describe myself as a woman of color too. When she called out the characteristics of her fellow classmates in AP classes, I thought about my experiences as a student in an AP class. My high school is very diverse, socioeconomically and racially, so most of the classes had students from all kinds of backgrounds. But what I eventually discovered was that the higher up a level a class I went, the less diverse the classes became. So by the time I was a senior and taking on more challenging classes, I found myself being the only person of color in the class. I would think an observation like that was irrelevant, like it shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. I had moments where I would feel isolated and sometimes I couldn't relate to other. And I often second guessed myself and felt like I had to put in two times as much work to compensate for my skin color. Sometimes I even wondered if learning English as my second language made me less capable than my English speaking peers. I wanted to know why I seemed to struggle more than anyone else in class. I wondered why I was the only person of color in an AP class and I'm sure there are students that are experiencing what I experienced back then.

I never realized how much I could relate to Richard Rodriguez's experiences in school. After my one-on-one I decided to change the direction of my original paper. My most recent paper argued that if one doesn't have access to the person one is, it hinders the progress one has both as a student and a person outside of school. I have trouble identifying as a Cambodian because I can't speak the Khmer language, thereore I find it hard to socialize with other Cambodian people. When I can't socialize with a certain group of people that I should be able to fit in with, it's obvious that I'm not one of them. My parents and teachers had good intentions when they taught me the English language but I'm discovering now that I'm a product of assimilation. I read over Rodriguez's article to remember what it was about and it was slightly painful and relieving for me to read. It was painful in the sense that I know that I felt exactly the way Rodriguez felt for being annoyed at my parents' grammatical errors and them not being able to help me with my homework. But it was also relieving to know that it is indeed possible to lose a language and also a part of my identity. I thought it was a ridiculous claim and I beat myself up about it, but now that I have thought and written about it, I really do believe it.

My friend Midley deserves credit (I borrowed her markers) so she's in the picture too!

When I wrote my educational biography, I chose to write about my experiences as an ESL student and my suspicion that it may have contributed to my loss of my native language. I wasn't planning to write about it initially, in fact, I think I was just frustrated at the moment. I'm convinced I'm having an identity crisis. I reflected on my experiences with assimilation into American culture despite being born as a U.S. citizen. I also ended up talking about the racial makeup of my high school, how it affected my own education, and I'm starting to realize how different it was there from how it is here now. Until this essay I hadn't really realized how many sacrifices my parents have made in order for me to receive a good education.

Hi, my name is Chandrea. I'm from the Greater Boston area. I'm looking forward to participating in candid discussions in this class and maybe even some debates! After our discussion about classification, I thought it was really interesting that most of us described ourselves based on our personalities. I described myself as Asian American, a Freshman, and part of the working class. I don't know why I did that, and I'm curious if this class will help me understand why I was so quick to describe myself in those ways.