“Hold up, did you just hear, did you just say, did you just see, did you just do that? Then the voice in your head silently tells you to take your foot off your throat because just getting along shouldn’t be an ambition.” -- Claudia Rankine, citizen
thinking about how i never thought about my race (i was never raced?) until i came back to this country for college after high school. how quickly i learned literally what race is and how it permeates everything around us. i wonder if i would have learned as fast as i did if my first semester here didn't involve two students hanging up the confederate flag.
i spent this summer surround by brown people. my friend yeidaly and i would constantly remark "it's been so long since i talked to a white person" and with everything this summer involved, it was a relief, a breath a fresh air, a way to be our truest selves, a means to take our layers off. my truest self isn't divorced from my race. today nkechi talked about how white supremacy would want her to distance her "self" from her blackness but that's not something she can ever do.
to the friend i lost this summer: do you even see me? do you even see me if you can't acknowledge and contextualize the multifaceted ways in which being a woc in america functions? radical self love (the kind liv talks about) now takes up all the space in my heart that you would have.