Last summer, I decided to travel for the first time, by myself, and across the country from where I am from (Texas) to meet with a group of 9 strangers to work on a 21-days-long, back-country community service project Maine. It has been the most rewarding experience of my life so far, and I cannot imagine who and where I would be without it. It pushed me physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it gave me the opportunity to find parts of myself I had never even imagined existed. That summer, I learned what it means to be happy and at peace with one's self and surroundings. 

Being "abroad" has always been my way of living. I've moved around a lot and I've been exposed to many different cultures, which has many advantages. I would never give up any of the experiences I've had. However, living in a foreign country comes with some downfalls. My parents have rented every place we've ever lived in, which gives me a sense of inpermanence. I never feel completely at home even when I'm in my house. I'm constantly meeting new people, but I also haven't had just one solid friend group for my entire life.

summarizing silence is such an impossible thing to summarize for me. to create a single image to encompass all that silence is or can be makes me think of how Claudia Rankine describes “I” - a pronoun that barely holds so much detail when put under scrutiny, a word that has so much power that it’s overwhelming. 

for the sake of creating a summarizing dichotomy, i decided on “true” silence, or silencing, or nonconsensual silence 

since i’ve done this exercise before, i attempted to recall how i made my avatar choices last year around this time. i remember establishing criteria, that i still wanted to follow. they were, in summary, inoffensive (radical is fine, but triggering or nsfw isn’t; sadly, that crosses butts off the list) and authentic.

Humor for me is a way to mask how I might really be feeling, just as my username is a mask for who I am. I use humor as both a distraction from any real-world problems I may be having as well as a coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety or any other uncomfortable emotions. My favorite television series of all time is Psych, a drama-comedy blend about a psychic who solves crimes along with the Santa Barbra Police Department. One of the characters (Shawn) frequently gives his best friend (Gus) a nickname when introducing him.

I look at this photo whenever I am stressed or sad, often when I am at school or surrounded by school work. I am instantly calmed by the memory of taking this photo. I remember the clear blue water,  and the slight breeze in the air, but most of all I remember the sense of serenity and familiarity surrounded me. I was far from home in an unfamiliar place with people I had met only two weeks earlier, yet I was overcome with a unexpected feeling of comfort.  Looking at this photo today, it connects me to a new memory, a more recent one of my first week here at Bryn Mawr. Although I am once again in a new environment, I feel very much at home. For me, this photo will always be tied to similar memories and give me peace of mind, as it reminds me of who I am and where I belong.

A year ago, I would have posted an image of an empty drinking glass to represent silence. Uncomfortable with quiet and solitude, I had always considered silence to be an empty space with potential energy, waiting to be filled. Speech, the noise of city streets, and music were essential parts of my life. Lately, I love silence. Though I still associate it with emptiness, I now see it as an entity that can forever exist that way--an entity that is not inherently "lacking" anything--and in that sense, that empty space is at the same time full. Closing the rim of the glass, silence becomes an orb. 

I. welcome back! our avatars are oblique/evocative “representations” of ourselves, not what you will see in the class photos on BiONic, for example, and worth exploring for a few minutes, so...

Go ‘round and play “picture bingo”—identify your classmates by their avatars...what are you learning about them thereby?  take a moment to get (@ least some! of) the stories behind the pictures

what did you learn? any surprises? was everyone recognizable? (needing back stories, more explanations?)

"To sit in solemn silence on a dull dark dock..." the coherent yet meaningless series of alliterations tap a rhythm in my head. I remember reciting these lines from my diaphragm to practice pronunciation for the stage. And now  the words are no longer meaningless. They remind me of the moments when I recited them, alone and in chorus, shouting to the window and murmuring to myself. These are the thoughts that fill my silence. It isn't really silence at all, just a reflection of the noise from the day, like a face blurred and darkened in the ripples. A filling of the space with noise like a pond with water. It stretches to every edge and seeps into every crack. And maybe this silence is a chance for me to see myself, if only a reflection of myself.