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Different Expressions

haabibi's picture

My high school was a boarding school that required everyone to live in a dorm. The facilities were their finest: a little cute shoe shelf with an umbrella stand inside, a toilet on the left, a shower booth on the right, and two beds and desks on each side, a big window at the very end of the room welcoming all the comers. The meals were all fine too. They were on the media frequently how my school meals provide both healthy and delicious food. I thought maybe in all these quality of facilities, I would not have any problem adapting myself. But it did not take me a long time to realize how it was not the facilities, but it was people –especially a roommate- who influence the most when adapting to that little new society. When we first encountered, we thought we would be best friends. Yes we were for first few weeks. When all the exams were over, we had an overnight pajama party with all the snacks and ramens. We woke up together and headed over to cafeteria for breakfast. Since we were in the same class, we had lunch and dinner together too. But living with a girl whom I had never known before was getting difficult as semester went by. We had different life patterns, studying style, personality and perceptions about friend relationship. Conflicts followed. I kept all the complaints inside; she explicitly expressed her feelings. The conflicts got deeper as our ways of expressions differed. The relationship seemed so irreversible that the night we had pajama party felt like an imaginary day that I had while sleeping. Before the school break started, I decided to express my feeling and apologize for all the miscommunication through letter. It was embarrassing. It was humiliating to explicitly tell all the trivial feelings and thoughts that I did not want to show anyone. She, on the other hand, was waiting for the time to talk. After all, it turned out very fine. We apologized to each other and understood all the conflicts we had as part of the process of growing up. Because of that experience I had had with my first roommate, I did not have any conflicts with other roommates later on –because I learned how it is difficult to live with a person who has totally different background and life style and how “I” could be a good roommate to her.