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Reflection on the exhibit

saturday's picture

I don’t think I really began to believe in this event until it happened. Looking back on my thoughts throughout the process, there’s a consistent line of dread and frustration against a project that seemed too disconnected, too hard, too unreal. Even on that Wednesday, as I printed out my pages in the library, I was filled with the same negativity. At least I have something, I thought, at least I tried. As I held my project out in front of Farida’s camera, I bit back ­apologies for myself, for the work I felt wasn’t enough. Any of the pride I felt was squashed under the weight of unsure expectations. What is this space we’ve been crafting in fits and starts all semester, the space I helped create and name?

But as the others began flooding in and filling the campus center, my outlook did a dizzying 180. I cried as each project was brought in, and couldn’t help from beaming with pride as the exhibit began to take form. It speaks so much to our shared experiences in this course that, even though the process of creating these projects seemed so isolated, when they were up for display it was so easy to make those connections (ones we couldn’t think to do in the planning process). I felt connected as I steadied poster boards and pushed in thumbtacks, finally seeing just what it was our advertising group had been working to make visible. When I stuck that binder onto the easel in the corner, I not only found a place in the room, but a place within the 360 itself. I let the praise and attention of my peers wash over me as we bounced around the room in constant conversation and flux. Nervous as I still was, I finally felt worthy of inhabiting that space with everyone else.