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 "Hi, my name is Aimee..."

"Hi, Aimee!"

"...and I'm a recovering brain-hater."

Last week, I dreamt of waking up to my phone's alarm clock, just like I do every morning. However, as I silenced the alarm, I noticed that I had received a text message at 2:53 am from my friend. He had written, "I miss you." 

Before you ask - my friend and I are not attracted to one another. However, we are two very busy people, leading very busy college lives. I rarely talk to him, and so I miss him a great deal. Although I hope he misses me too, I'll never know for certain. He's certainly not the sentimental type. (In addition, he has the sleeping habits of an 80-year old man. He'd never be awake at 3 in the morning!)

So, then, why did I dream that he sent me such a heartfelt message? Answer: my unconscious is very, very sneaky. My workload is intensifying, so I'm sleep-deprived. I'm worried that I'm not intelligent enough to be a pre-med, I'm worried about my poor study skills, and I'm worried about the 10 pounds I gained this semester. In short: I'm stressing out.

I do not like to consciously acknowledge my stress. When I do, venture into the wonderful world of melodrama. And I cry. So, my unconscious mind takes over. 

I've had these dreams before. The nights before taking the SAT and ACT, the night prior to my driver's test, the night before working at a nursing home, the summer before leaving for college...each dream combined a realistic fear with the absurd. In my dreams, I'd be running late, or I'd show up at the wrong college, or I'd have no car to drive. My unconscious would remind me that I was afraid of the future - of the unknown. And it would remind me that I'm crazy by showing me the absurdity of my thoughts.

This most recent dream is no exception. I think I was telling myself to man up. "I know you're worrying, Aimee. You don't need to. People still care about you."

My conscious brain tells me one story: "Stop focusing on your fears. Ignore, ignore, IGNORE!!!" (It doesn't work very well.)

My unconscious brain tells me a different one: "You're afraid. Acknowledge it. Accept it." 

Paul's lecture revealed that the unconscious brain just want to help the conscious interpret and understand sensory input. In a way, my dreams have revealed my brain's efforts, too. Perhaps you want to know if I still feel betrayed by my brain? Well, yeah...

It would be really nice to know what I'm thinking. 

P.S: I apologize for the whininess of this post. Melodrama. Jeesh.