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in class the other day, Anne said something about how Kate Bornstein wanted there to no longer be identity categories. but i think that, at least in Hello, Cruel World, that's no longer the case. Kate Bornstein references identities several times in the book: "I'm traveling through all sorts of identities, picking and choosing what works and leaving the rest behind" (22); "Somewhere inside me there was an identity I could live with that would allow me to be both girl and boy--and neither to boot" (27); "[Sexuality] is a social identity" (28); "We all want an identity that makes life worth living....You get to decide which identity you are going to be or not be" (31).

that's not an exhaustive list of the places where Bornstein mentions identity, but it supports my point, which is something like this: i don't think Kate Bornstein is promoting the end of identities. i think it's more about a multiplicity of identities and recognizing that identities can change and shift, and people can identify as one thing one day and another identity another day. it's about giving people choices and options, and about not getting too hung up on what our identity is to the point of creating really rigid walls that create boundaries about who is and isn't a certain identity.

Kate Bornstein identifies (at least at the point when the book was written) as a transsexual (21)--sort of (22), as a traveler (22), as a tranny dyke (30). i think it's more about the recognizing the fluidity of identities than about destroying identities.

my thoughts about gender and Kate Bornstein--i think that Bornstein really just wants people to be happy with who they are and who/what they're acting like (and to not be mean to other people). if being a woman, and identifying as a woman, and always acting "like a woman" (whatever that means to you) makes you happy, great. i'm all for you doing that, and i think (although maybe i'm being presumptuous) that Kate Bornstein would be cool with that, too. but if that's not how you feel/identify/want to act, Bornstein wants you to know that that's okay, too.

there are so few sources in society that are all for people being whoever they want to be and acting however they want (as long as they aren't mean to others, which seems to be Bornstein's version of liberalism/"you can do what you want as long as it doesn't harm others"). i think that Hello, Cruel World is wonderful for telling people directly that whoever they are is fine.

other people have said that they don't think Hello, Cruel World is/would be useful. i disagree. while i obviously can't speak for anyone other than myself, i think it's useful. when i started reading Hello, Cruel World for class, i was really stressed about a lot of things. some of the messages in the book were exactly what i needed to hear. not that i was going to go commit suicide and Hello, Cruel World stopped me, or something. just that it made me feel a little better about myself, a little more in control of my life. it's nice when other people legitimize how i see myself. i realize that i shouldn't *need* others to legitimize how i see myself, but i'd be a liar if i said that other people's opinions never affect me.

one thing i liked about the alternatives that Bornstein lists is that they're not all sunshine and bunnies and rainbows. i like the message that sometimes, you can't shoot for perfection and happiness--sometimes, it's enough to just hang on a little longer, to just get yourself in a slightly better place mentally than you were, and then later work from there. Bornstein lets the reader get angry, allows one to rant and rave and pissed off about things, allows people to do things that aren't usually accepted. that's realistic.

by the way, i really liked something under the alternative "Shatter some family values"--"Look . . . Don't kill anyone is a value. Don't be a homo is not a value" (215). it just made me smile.

my last comment is going to be about one of the alternatives, "Go Stealth." "Every outlaw, freak, or outsider dreams at one time or another of passing for normal, and not having to deal with the staring and the questions and the laughter and the harassment. Moments of stealth are moments free from all that. After spending a lot of time looking over your shoulder to see if you're being followed, there's nothing like the wonder and relief of looking at the world through a 'normal' pair of eyes" (187). i think it's really great that Bornstein included this, especially combined with "Run Away and Hide,"--Bornstein writes, "I've hidden out in the open pretending to be like everyone else. I still do that when I'm feeling fragile" (124). 

it's nice that Bornstein realizes that sometimes, people just can't handle being strong all the time. and this gives permission to just sort of escape if need be. yes, it's great to be who you are, and a rebel, and an outlaw, and an outsider (i mean, if that's who you are), and it's empowering and i'm all for it. at the same time, sometimes i can only take so much. and like Bornstein wrote, sometimes when i'm feeling fragile, i just try to blend in and hide in plain sight. and then i'll feel bad for not being strong enough. and it's good to hear someone say that it's okay, that i'm not a bad person if i'm not some metaphorical pillar of queer/trans/genderqueer strength all the time.

anyway, my point is that i loved Hello, Cruel World. i don't think it's perfect, but i think it's got a lot of really good messages that some people really need to hear. and maybe you don't need/want to hear anything the book has to say, and that's fine. but it's great that this is here for people who do need those messages--messages that (as long as you're not mean to people) whoever you are is just fine. thank you, Kate Bornstein.