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skindeep wrote "and if we are ever questioning our identity, our gender and sexuality, we need to be more aware of the forces within us that our shaping us everyday. our fear, anxiety, memory, even (as mentioned in the book), our desire." 

and i think that's it. i agree. our subconscious selves, our fears and desires--without that, i don't know if we can question ourselves, our identities. i've questioned both my gender and my sexuality, and i've realized that they're deeply intertwined with my fears and desires, the things that terrify me and the things that i want the most, the feeling of something that i can't explain. and we need to pay attention to these things and not just focus on facts and logical arguments and reasoned explanations.

and i think that one of the reasons that the dreaming and these emotions are so important to gen/sex issues is that sometimes we don't want to face things about ourselves, and dreams and emotions make us deal with them, even when we don't want to on an intellectual/logical/mental level.