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Moira Messick's picture

Sudoku, Me?

Instead of blogging about the joy of finally getting the Sudoku puzzle, I would like to focus on conflict and group dynamics.  I always tell my students "You don't need to be friends, you just need to be friendly."  Students and parents are very appreciative of this statement as nobody wants to be friends with everybody.  Now I wonder if I need to add something about the importance of conflict in friendliness.  Otherwise people will be polite, but no real "group story" will develop.

If "agreeing to disagree" is denying conflict and we need to insist upon conflict to develop understanding than there needs to be some team building activities at the beginning of a class.  Working in collaboration over a seemingly meaningless task builds a trust among the individuals in the class.  Setting this stage is vital to good group dynamics.  Building that trust helps people understand how to interpret people's questions and trust their motives.  There would be more understanding of peoples communication styles and less feelings of being under attack. 

It is human nature, unfortunately when people's ideas are threatened, they tend to gravitate toward people with similar ideas.  This is how cliques begin in our schools, neighborhoods, and even graduate classes.  Anyone who agrees "hey, that person was too aggressive or that person was too sensitive" - they are welcome in the respective groups.   What is most unfortunate is that these groups can devolve into  pointing out irrelevant deficiencies the person who is viewed as "too sensitive" or "the aggressor" has.  This leads to prickly conversations, no trust, and an seemingly impossible environment to achieve a "group story."  Setting up some team building activities at the beginning, can be a proactive approach to avoiding this problem.

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