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So this has nothing to do with depression, because I know depression is a serious condition and I don’t want to offend anybody. But I have come up with this theory about the natural tendency of people to feel sorry for themselves. We all feel sorry for ourselves at times and I think it is an evolutionarily learned mechanism to acquire needed attention. From birth, we cry to get fed, to get changed, etc. As we grow, we learn that when we cry, people pay attention to us and try to meet our demands. Evolutionary it seems quite advantageous to pity oneself. However, we also love to pride ourselves in meeting our own demands and needs. Therefore, we tend to pity ourselves as a last resort- when we’ve tried everything and failed to meet our needs/wants.

I thought of this the other day when talking to my sister who always feels sorry for herself. As a child she’d start bawling every time we got into a fight and sure enough, Mom and Dad took her side, and I always got punished. But then I wondered why is it that I never pulled that trick. But then I remember calling my grandma last week and complaining of my workload and how I’ve lost all motivation to do work. And of course grandma responded very empathetically. And so I realized that we know who is most likely to respond to our dramatic episodes and factor that in when we become sad. My friend Tsega is the go to girl when anyone has problems because she’s willing to listen patiently and respond sympathetically. None of my friends come to me because they know I don’t respond well to drama and don’t give them the desired attention they need.

What one also has to factor when utilizing this advantageous mechanism of self pity is not to overly use it or you’ll end up as the “Boy who cried wolf”. No one will take your seriously when you do have a serious issue you need to discuss/let out.

In conclusion, it is important to feel sad and express yourself when you need something. Emotions can be a tactful resource into fulfilling your needs and wants. However, when it comes to be an everyday thing, I’m sure one is leaning toward the realm of depression, which I know little about and abstain from commenting on.