Ask a feminist - The F Word problem page

Behind the scenes here at The F Word, we often have readers writing in and asking us for advice on what to do, to explain a concept or to give our opinion. Being generally an opinionated bunch of people, we very often reply. But now we want to try something new - a regular F Word feature, fielding your questions in public, so everyone can see our answers.

Hi AIAF,

Generally speaking, if you reckon something is wrong when you see

1) men as a group being framed, by default, as the ones who should be seen to be in charge of making things happen and

2) women as a group being framed as their natural rightful supporters in the background

…you’re probably a feminist.

Those of us who identify as feminists are often as different as we are similar. The issues that any one feminist sees as the most pressing won’t be the same for all feminists. Basically, it’s not about what you think needs to be done to change society that would make you a feminist but your belief that

1) There are areas in life where women are generally held back or shown a lack of basic respect because of some form of prejudice and;

2) Your resistance to such stereotyping. (By the way, you can still be a feminist if you also happen to think there are areas where men suffer this too.)

Overall, I would say people who don’t believe women are held back anymore generally aren’t feminists and people who believe they never have been definitely aren’t. Obviously, it would be fair to say that people who believe women are indeed held back by prejudice, but think this is entirely justified aren’t feminists either. Then again, some people might say such prejudice can be justified in some areas but not others. I personally disagree but, to be fair, they might be feminists.

Ultimately, I would say you know you’re a feminist when you want a society where it is taken for granted that women’s competence, control, presence and influence extends to all areas, not just those directly connected to bum wiping/multi-tasking/doing the things apparently important people reckon they don’t have time to do. (A lot of feminists, including myself, would also like to see a society where men are as encouraged to care for others in a domestic setting as women are.)

Short answer: Does your enjoyment of a book tend to be somewhat hampered if its references to the general reader or subject constantly default to the pronoun ‘he’? If so, you’re probably a feminist!