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So I know this is coming rather late, but since crying in front of everyone in class it has taken me awhile to muster up the courage to get this out.

Firstly, I never would have opened my mouth in class had I known how I would have reacted. It was one of those times where you don't realize how much something affects you until it's too late.

Now onto the explanation? Or whatever it is that I should call this.

I don't even know where to begin. I guess the best way to describe my food situation would be an utter lack of freedom. I can't try new foods, I can't go anyway without a pound of medication, I have to be that awful American tourist who doesn't eat the native dishes, I can't warm up after a cold day with a bowl of soup.

More than the lack of freedom, the guilt eats (pun not intended) away at me daily. I'm used to watching my step, I'm used to my lack of choices.  However, I will never get used to the sacrifices my family and friends have to make. And it's only gotten worse since I arrived at Bryn Mawr.

Especially in recent years the guilt has been unbearable. With the world slowly going greener has come the vegetarian and vegan movement. (Needless to say these are not, nor will they ever be options for me.)  Bryn Mawr has embraced this movement. Which sucks for me a lot. I'm not even supposed to eat in Haffner because of how much vegan cooking is done there. I work in Haffner and on many days it's the only dining hall that is open when I have time to eat. So basically I'm just rolling the dice every day I eat lunch. Not only that, but I'm really worried that the world is going to continue to go down this meatless path that seems so popular these days. If this happens I would die. Literally. The worst part is that I don't even like meat. I even tried to be a vegetarian (before I stopped being ridiculous and started being healthy again). 

I guess in some ways it all comes down to the fact that I feel judged for what I eat and I don't think that's fair since I don't really have a choice. 

So next time you see that awful American tourist, remember me.

Thanks for listening to me complain. I kind of hope no one reads this. It doesn't really feel like I want it to.