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Steve and Amanda explained that this week's discussion was a follow-up from one held last December, which had raised questions about the mission of Bryn Mawr, as a place that is training "the elite." What might the implications of such a mission be, for those of us living and working here? Do we believe the "hype" we create?

Our conversation began with an initial series of introductions ("what we do"), followed by a second, more uncomfortable, round in which we gave our job titles, and felt ourselves resisting some of the hierarchies put into play by the specific, technical category each of us occupies.

The introductions were followed by a series of questions:

• What do we think of ourselves?
• How do we present ourselves to others in ways that mask part of who we are?
• How are we subject to the assumptions people make when they learn what we do, hear us speak and see us perform in institutionally constructed roles?
• Do people see us as we think they do?
• Do institutionally constructed roles enforce how we se each other as campus "community members? How might these roles impact how we treat each other?
• Why do we hide different parts of ourselves from the community?
• What does or would it mean to uphold the "hype" we create?

In the wide-ranging discussion which ensued, we spoke of how "devious" these questions seemed (and how "betrayed" by having to answer them!). We acknowledged differences between how we see ourselves in isolation, and in relationship with others. We recognized that our answers to such questions might vary, depending on who we are with.

Some of us find these questions hard to answer in any context, seldom thinking of ourselves "outside ourselves," "trying never to think about it," finding it "liberating not to be introspective," wanting to avoid the "extended adolescent identity crisis" that involves "lots of presentation differences between the "inside" and the "outside" self.

Some of us are "very 'out,' constantly 'on'" in our jobs; others' roles "only sometimes overlap with who we are"; some of us wear "multicolored hats"; others are more like an "octopus," with many different facets making up who we are.

Why do we not have the "same honest communication with all our brothers and sisters on the planet?" Why can we not see each other "the way we are"? Why do we want others to see us differently than how we see ourselves? Why do we build partitions between our professional capacities and our personal selves?

Some of this has to do with efficiency, but there are also important matters of trust involved. We're all insecure, and we all want to be loved: that's where the performing comes in. Sometimes it involves "making a pitch for yourself," trying to form a connection. Or is it the reverse? a professional line we don't want to cross: being friendly, but not sharing too much information? We have to "weigh how much to show." Is this about protecting other people? Or is it about overpowering them? How do we carry ourselves around others? With an air of snobbery, of needing to be noticed? Sometimes the mask we wear "pretends it is not there": it is a mask that "performs authenticity and closeness."

How can we be ethically responsible in this complex college environment, which is "home for some, work for others"? We are all students, "learning about Bryn Mawr in the daytime." When you are connected to a place for a long time, you become a snowball: "everything gets attached." But "doing the right thing is not a part time thing."