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ESEM Reflection

I’ve always been more of a presenter and express myself better through speech than with writing. With speech, it’s more than words helping me express myself, it’s things like tone and gestures that help me deliver and express my thoughts. I’ve always struggled to express my voice in writing because I’ve felt like I’d have to filter my thoughts and write to what people wanted to read and not read necessarily to what I had to say. Before Play in the City, I’d write for the person grading my essays, for her or his approval and not mine. There was no voice, no style, and no genuineness.

If it weren’t for the one on ones with Anne, I would’ve kept writing hogwash. My writing expressed nothing of my personal experiences; it was all too general. I wasn’t challenging myself. I wasn’t playing critically or deeply with my writing and my experiences through the city for that matter. It seemed odd to me that if I wanted to do well in this class, I’d had to start saying what I really thought and with my writing express who I really was and why my perceptions on the city trips and readings were so. I had to be myself and that’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned with Play in the City.

I’m not quite on the very edge of my learning with writing and that’s okay because it’s a whole lot better than where I started. I like to think I’m prancing around the edge. When I first started giving speeches, I was nervous and my voice wasn’t all that eloquent. And with my writing like in my speaking process, I’m slowly finding my voice and grasping on to my own style. I’m playing critically with my perceptions rather than just simply observing and taking it for what it means to everyone.

The discussions held in class over our assigned readings and trips into the city pushed me to play critically with my thoughts and the experiences of others. It wasn’t just sharing time. The discussions pushed people to express their thoughts through the lenses of the writers we were reading about and the communities we’d visited in Philadelphia. It challenged me to take what I’d learned and with that knowledge try and reflect on my experiences with a different perception than my own. The discussions also allowed me to take a stand on my thoughts and not just sit in the back of my chair listening and approving to what my peers had to say.