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It seems to me that the only way to transcend this notion of otherness is for us all to be the same so there is no other.

The way I see it is that the problem lies in the fact that each of us see ourselves as selves in relation to others. But we as women (and other subjugated minority groups) are also conscious of the reality that we are others to someone else's self. Maybe if men, in particular white men (the seemingly only unoppressed group of people on earth), began to also see themselves as others and not as the One we can begin to work as transcending this oppressive duality.

I guess implied in this is the idea that for us to transcend the notion of the self versus the other we all have to embrace our identities as selves and others.