marybellefrey's blog

Spring is clearly here, even in the Tropics of Guatemala. 

We have a 5-6 month (May to October) rainy season and a 6-7 month (October to May) dry season.  But in fact the dry season is two very distinct periods: a dry winter season with cold waves from the arctic and beginning about 1 March warm humid nights with increasing humidity and oppressive atmosphere until the rains break in May (a typical pre-monsoon season).  But Spring begins before any changes in the weather.  Spring everywhere begins before any change in the weather could seem to trigger it.

I had been mildly unhappy with all the readings for Critical Feminist Studies, even the ones I enjoyed, without knowing why.  As my participation dropped off, my discontent, rather than diminishing, increased.  Cixous's call to hear from women had spoken deeply to me, and the volcanoes were churning down below.  Some of the things that were thrown out in the eruptions follow.

I first came to Guatemala for Easter vacation in 1974.  Guatemala's textiles are world famous and as a master weaver and spinner, I had dreamed for years of seeing them in their home.  I think we did what most tourists do in a week, nothing special.  But I left here in love, passionately in love with Guatemala.  Everyone could see it. 

Everyone believes in white superiority.  I am not saying "all Caucasians";  I am saying the whole world believes in white superiority.  I have often wondered why.  Speaking as a teacher of small children we know that African genes generally show as excellence of large muscle development, Asian genes, as excellence of small muscle development and inteligence, indigenous American genes as capacities of the spirit unknown from any other part of the world.  I believe the European genes must have some special excellence, but I have been unable to find it.  A few years ago there was a short piece in the Alumnae Bulletinon the work of Nina Jablonski '75 on the evolution of skin color.  It was noted that because of the female's greater need for Vitamin D, women all parts of the w

I am also working class: my father was a welder, my grandfather worked on the railroad, and my uncle drove a truck.  I am the first person in my family to attend college.  There was no one in 1953 to help me adjust to Bryn Mawr.  Bryn Mawr is proud of being no.

My surface is as Caucasian as my name: very white skin, reddish blonde hair, blue eyes.  I came to hate that surface!  I sometimes thought, "If one more person comments on my coloring, I'll have a screaming fit!"  Living in the tropics at high altitude my skin is now the color of sunburn on white and with age my hair has turned to a hideous yellow.  The 'white' community accepts as white only pure white.  As I said before, I am not pure white.  If the Caucasion genes were mixed with African, I would have had a large community in the U.S.  My genes include indigenous American ones --- that community rejects me as completely as the white.  I keep on my desk a black-and -white photograph of myself.  It shows a mixed-blood old woman who could be taken for Mexican.  Without