pialamode314's blog

It is so important to talk about gender in today's society. I was very struck by Piper's comment in class, about how even simple words in the passage from "Seeing Gender" had subtle gender associations with femininity, and affected the way we read it. The gender binary has been so ingrained in society for so long that it is hard to escape, and even to spot if you're not aware of it. I never thought much about gender before coming to Bryn Mawr. I was assigned an "F" at birth and I never questioned it. However, once I came to Bryn Mawr and began to talk about gender issues, it opened up my eyes to how much it had affected my life. As a kid, I was often labeled a "tomboy", but I never liked that. I didn't feel like a tomboy. I always felt like if I was a tomboy, if I liked hiking and power tools and hated the color pink, I then also wasn't allowed to like fancy shoes or pretty dresses and lipstick. Admittedly, I LOVED Polly Pocket. However, I was ashamed to tell any of my friends - boys or girls - for fear of being a "freak" and not fitting in with either group. It was very confusing for me because I felt like I had to pick a category - it was an either/or situation and being on the fence was precarious and not acceptable. It wasn't until much later in life that I recognized the connection to gender and gender roles. As I learned more about the issues, I realized that having to "choose" a category to fall under was ridiculous. I just wanted to do and wear whatever made me feel comfortable.

The picture I have for my avatar is one I’ve used a lot for things like gmail accounts, etc. It was taken on a day several summers ago when my older sister and I spent the day tie dying clothes, and thereafter used the extra dye on our bodies, because who wouldn’t love to walk around for a week with their skin stained in rainbow colors? I’ve always liked the picture and I’ve always thought it portrays me in a truer way than any picture of me dressed up in a suit or laughing at a party, but I guess I never explored why that was until now. In trying to explain why I chose that particular picture and how it relates to my self-identity and gender and sexuality, I think one thing that became pretty clear to me was that my gender and sexuality are secondary identifiers for me. I do openly identify as a cisgendered queer woman, but I like the idea of some ambiguity for people who don’t already know me well (for example, internet viewers who may stumble upon that picture). In the picture I’ve chosen, my face is not shown and my clothes are rather androgynous, thus taking the focus off of my gender or perceived sexual orientation. Instead the focus of the photo is the fact that I have dye splattered all over myself and I’m showing it off. I’ve loved making and wearing tie dye since I was little (my parents used to dress me in tie dye onesies), and people know me by it. (I even had to write and perform a love song to tie dye as one of my tasks for Hell Week!) It’s something that defines my personality, quirky and colorful as it is, and is a little piece of my history.