Self Evaluation and Reflection

I think this class was just what I needed, right when I needed it. I have to say though, I do think I lucked out with this ESEM based on the moans and groans of some of my other first-year peers. At the start of the course I was unsure about things, especially about Anne. The only educator in my life who’s ever made me feel so capable has been my mother. Even in English courses in high school, I always performed well, and my teachers took note of that, but the relationships formed, however pleasant, weren’t challenging. Thank you, Anne.

The inception of this semester brought with it apprehension, anxiety and a feeling of being lost. Had I made the right decision? Would I fit in? Would I live up to the expectations my friends and family had of me?

Unpacking the Educator/Therapist Dichotomy 

Book group yesterday felt discombobulating, frustrating, and important. I found myself torn between my frustration that we weren't completing the lesson plan as effectively as we had hoped, and my strong desire to give the emotions in the room the space they deserved. 

I came into my final meeting with three full pages of notes. It started off as an effort to gather my thoughts and use keywords to spark ideas that I had already ruminated on, but then ended up being extremely detailed and stream-of-consciousness. When I finished, Anne quipped, “Did you even draw breath?”

When I am tagging all my paper as web events, I start my reflection automatically. As I click in and reread all my papers written in this semester, I have a special and fascinating emotions. I feel like I’m a spectator and witness the progress of myself in this class.

Prison Reflection

            In my saved files on my computer, I titled the post I wrote after that class (you know the one I’m talking about) ‘The Hardest One Yet”.

What emerged during my meeting

Academically, I am typically resistant to change. I have always had trouble revising my writing, feeling either that it would take too much effort to re-work it or that it simply wasn’t necessary. Rather than reaching towards new subjects and sub-topics within courses, I tend to dig deeper into subjects in which I am already well-versed, confident, and comfortable. Coming from an elementary school and a high school where reflection was a constant process and a large part of how I was evaluated, I learned to reach toward the personal during these reflective exercises, rather than examining how I had grown in the more traditional, academic sense.

Through this course, I struggled a lot to get done with readings and writings every week. I regretted many times that I should have practiced English more before I came here. Now, however, I am sure that I learnt a lot from this course and I have found new various different perspectives in myself.

         I didn’t initially realize how difficult it would be to discuss, reflect upon, and try to explain the complex and multiple layers of the prison-industrial complex that people’s projects portrayed. I was particularly impressed and appreciated the conversations I had following the gallery opening, listening to people share stories of the different connections they made between their projects and others, as well as how they chose to express the research they had completed. I especially appreciated how people’s artwork was incorporated into the shared space. Our collective work about challenging and seeking to understand incarceration seeped through conversations and the silences of what was unknown and left unexplained.