Living in a dorm is a funky thing. It's a weird quasi-freedom where you don't live with your parents but you also don't really live alone; someone else cooks your meals, someone else cleans the bathrooms, you only occupy one room, and you live with at least 100 other students. (And the people who clean the dorms, who cook the food, who keep the college running are majority people of color.

I feel like I am "raced" more by black people more than anyone else. Unless I am having a conversation about race, of course, I feel most hyperaware of my race when I am around other black people. I don't know if that hyperawareness comes more from insecurity or judgement or coincidence. But that is what I've experienced. That hyperawareness doesn't feel good. It doesn't always feel bad, but it's uncomfortable in a way that's hard to decide. Like I'm constantly trying to prove with every word (even though I don't know a lot of slang), every cultural reference (most of which I don't understand, to be honest), and every thing else that goes through my mind (which is a lot).

            This last Tuesday, my friend, who I will refer to as Elizabeth, who is bi-racial (Afro-Caribbean and Caucasian) called me and said, “Dude. My back’s really in a lot of pain. You know I’ve had back pain in the past and I’m worried it’s starting again.”

            “Wait. What happened?” I responded.

            “Well… I slipped and fell earlier and my back was in excruciating pain, so I went to the health center and the person I saw there told me there was nothing she could do. She referred me to the hospital. Can you go with me?”

            “Of course love. Do you need to go now? I’m so sorry,” I replied.

This is going to be a short post, I feel as though my energy has been totally spent recently and trying to articulate myself amidst all this just seems so far from what I want to ask of myself.

" the atmostphere will noticeably change when a woman of color enters the room." - bell hook's 

Curious about what albinism is?

Video 1: What Can I See? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrqdFKs2Hzw  This video walks the viewer through all the things related to albinism.  The music is an unwarranted bummer.  It's a really good video, though.

IF YOU WATCHED THAT AND WANT MORE, continue.

Video 2: Things I Can't See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsOLLBcwxcY  This video gives a more human perspective.  April talks about her personal experiences.

http://www.radiolab.org/story/211119-colors/

When I was a fiftth grader my parent got divorced. There were no custody wars, no one week on one week off, and no hatred. Except there divorce was different than most. Yes, it did rip the family in half and it did cause pain but it was good. My mother need to find herself. Two years later, she became domestic partners with Cecilia and one year after that they married legally at an episcopalian Church in California and again when it became legal in the nation. 

These are the photos I talked about in class; they are screenshots (my mom sent me these from her iphone during a meeting lol) of the app she's creating to map Native American land and settlements in our area. Hopefully I can add better photos/maps to the conversation soon.

Play can become problematic when a child is given too much or too little freedom. For example, in instances of play described in Playing in Industrial Ruins play can be problematic if a child is exposed so possible hazard or learns about something that is not necessarily good to know yet. By this I mean getting injured, or seeing people use drugs or are violent etc. However, if a child is overly sheltered, they will not know enough about the world. Play can allow children to learn many lessons such as how to interact and socialize with others, how to resolve conflict, and how to share and be empathetic.