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Self Evaluation and Reflection

kcweiler20's picture

Dear Jody,

It is so strange seeing my first semester of college end. It seems like yesterday when I sat down in your class for the first time, scared out of my mind that I wouldn’t make any new friends out of the group that sat in a circle surrounding me. I am so grateful that now, three months later, I am leaving the course with fifteen new friends and a fantastic mentor (that’s you!). I always looked forward to ESem, whether it was class or my conferences with you. The environment created and fostered in that classroom was so inviting and open to new ideas and perspectives, and I found that truly special. Because of this welcoming atmosphere, I was able to both participate openly and without fear of judgement during discussions, as well as do my favorite thing in the world and actively listen to others. Looking back, I think I did a good job finding a balance between participating and inviting others to do so by staying silent at times. By doing this, I both learned things about myself: my abilities, strengths, and weaknesses; and about others in the class.

I was surprised at how comfortable I became with the group; so comfortable, in fact, that I felt able to disclose personal anecdotes and information to my classmates when it was relevant to the reading or dissuasion. For example, I felt completely safe connecting All Over Creation’s Momoko, to my own grandmother, who too suffers from a form of Alzheimer’s’ Disease, and my own experiences interacting with her, and discussing my own history of therapy and medication in relation to As the World Burns. I always felt supported and heard in class, and this was so important in building my confidence in speaking in class. I was able to work on speaking clearly and with as little self-doubt as possible, and I got to sharpen my active listening skills as well. I found that what others in the class had to say were impressive and thought-provoking; I came to respect everyone in the class for their ability to speak eloquently and build their own confidences throughout the semester. I felt especially inspired and challenged by the points made by people like Viv, Auri, Jasmine, Jessica, Anna, Jennifer, and Kayleigh throughout the semester, as each and every one of them demonstrated a strong ability to articulate their ideas, through writing and speech, in a thoughtful and moving way, and actively listen while others were speaking. I am so grateful for all the conversations we had this semester, and all the friends I’ve made because of this class.

Looking back, I am proud of the work I did this semester. While it was difficult to hit my stride with writing a solid paper every week, on top of nightly readings, our 6-week project, and short postings, looking back, I am happy with the work I did for this class. I tried to challenge myself to the best of my abilities and write creative essays. While sometimes it took me a rewrite or two to finally get it right, I tried my best. I always turned in postings, papers, and projects in on time (with the exception of when I caught the plague), and never missed a reading (even when I had said plague). I surprised myself by very much enjoying doing the short postings, and like that I often pushed myself to complexify the prompt and use my own unique interpretation to respond to it. I always enjoyed the readings, even if they included weird egg things and were insanely graphic – you know which one I’m talking about. After revisiting all of the readings we did this semester, I found that I most enjoyed the novels we read: Getting Mother’s Body, All Over Creation, and As the World Burns, because of how complex and multifaceted they were, and how such interesting in-class conversations came out of reading them. I also enjoyed many of the short readings, but did not find as many personal connections with them. I absolutely love the idea of the 6-week project, and I am very happy with how Emma’s and mine turned out. We learned more than we ever imagined by talking to so many incredibly interesting and personable individuals about their experiences. The project served as an incredible way of applying our knowledge outside the classroom, and working towards making a change within our community. I really hope we can find a way (and the time) to move this forward and improve the College’s climate to make it more accepting of all students, not just those historically included. Seeing the topics my classmates chose to do their 6-week projects on and how invested we all became in our projects was a lesson in and of itself, and I feel I expanded my own understanding of so many different topics by hearing my classmates present this past week.

Moving forward, I definitely want to apply what I learned in this class to my further studies and life in general. This course has inspired me to think more deeply and care more actively about the environment, so I definitely want to make an effort to lessen the negative impact that I, as a human, have on the earth. I also want to explore different contact zones that are present in my life, and examine what I can do to respect others and their identities while still honoring my own. This course (and you, specifically) inspired me to take a Multicultural Education class next semester, and I am looking forward to zeroing in on the contact zones in both education and different cultures. I have realized through this course and my first semester that relationships, both between individuals and groups, are complex and often can be messy, and because of this I will go forward viewing them as such and trying not to over-simplify issues in my own life and in the world. Thank you for an incredible semester; I can't wait to see how the ideas we explored in class change and intensify in the coming year, and I know I will continue thinking about them.

Best,

Kate :)