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Self Evaluation and Reflexion

Sunshine's picture

I don’t know what I would have done without this 360 looking back I'm not sure if I'll ever have the chance again to get to critically explore my own identity in the classroom. Ann Balay challenged that we do not bring our bodies into academia. We did that the semester by talking to ourselves but also with the art but we did with Riva. And wasn't it scary? Usually in class we talk about theory but we don't get the chance to put it in practice. I'm so glad that we got to go to Camphill. I don't think that our discussions about disability and representation would've been as productive, personable, and ethical if we didn't get the chance to see what we were talking about in action.

Riva, Ann, Monsoon and Benaifer put so many things in perspective for me. Something I don't think we talked enough about in class was power. How we hold it, how others hold it, how that affects our interactions. We spoke a little bit about it when we read Riva's essay, and also during our conversation that we had about Persepolis. We all have power in different ways. We need to be conscious of how we use it. Remember when Benaifer said that people entering a space changes how the conversation flows? I hope to use my power to make sure that when I enter space the conversation keeps flowing, and is rich, and engaging, and productive.

Also I hope that I can continue to remember to clear our intentions before we interact with others. Something that I now realize that I'm taking from the semester is that yes, intersectionality is important, but no, it is not the end all be all. There is somebody in this 360 who I share a lot of identities with (Brownie points to whoever paid attention and knows who it is). With all the intersections of identity that we share, and from the conversations that we've had that, I feel comfortable saying that it is very likely that we’ve had many similar experiences. But we are no way the same person!! I keep going back to the conversation we had in Anne’s class about the characters we play at Bryn Mawr. The critique is that we often hold on to one facet of somebody’ identity and forget the rest. I think we also have danger of doing this while looking at intersectional identities. It was really interesting to watch that play out with Suzy. It became a comfort for us to talk about how late she was. It was something that we all knew and could bond over. But from spending time with Suzy I learned so much more. I know why she’s late, I know what her interests are. I can talk to her about something other than the time. And isn’t that why we went to Camphill? Beautiful.

So I challenge myself to look PAST intersectional identities and start looking more at PERSONALITY. We all have lovely personalities, and we should consider them more. Being a queer woman of color who is really outgoing and knits is SO much more telling of who I am than if I left the last two out.

I will try to continue to be open and understanding. If we are talking about being a Chamaeleon, I want to change my color to who I was when I started this course. Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes. I probably made a couple just in this reflexion. Forgive me. Forgive them. Times are tough and people are frustrating, but I have faith that with everything I learned in this 360 I can go off into the world and make it a teeny bit better, even if it’s only one person at a time.