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Slipping into this Mess

dorothy kim's picture

Slipping into Mud

Dorothy Kim

            Oftentimes people say things and only later realize that the connotations or meaning surroundings their words were not the best thing to say. At other times, people may have not even noticed that what they have been saying was problematic. This act of slipping creates various contact zones in which people have a chance to come to realize the differences they have with each other. However, in many cases the act of slipping becomes messy and instead, does not create any change while leaving the slipee, or person the slip was made against, feeling terrible about their own identity.  There are various facets of slipping and each side provides a different view on the benefits or the harms of these contact zones.

            Slipping often calls into question the benefits of the action. While contact zones may seem to be a breeding ground for new ideas and new visions, there are often hurt feelings and harmful encounters thrown into the mix. Minority groups are often the victims of many seemingly harmless slips, such as how Nkechi was on the receiving end of being told that another “doesn’t like to be with ‘people who look like [Nkechi]’” (265). Another such innocuous statement equating skin tone to “my chocolate” proves to be another form of slipping; it is an inherently violent statement that objectifies skin tone and equates it to an item to be consumed (265). To an outsider, statements like these may seem like simple jokes. However, this type of behavior only feeds into the general power imbalance between, in this case, people of color and white people. By equating skin tone to a consumable, the white villager creates an imbalance where they are looking through a consumer’s lens, viewing Nkechi’s classmate as an item instead of treating them with dignity as they deserve. The issue with slipping is that in a situation such as this, the person who slips probably does not understand the harms that come with a seemingly lighthearted statement. Confrontation may end up poorly because the negative outcomes do not appear immediately. As a structural issue, it is difficult to explain how this creates issues for the minority group without provoking defensive behavior. Although contact zones provide spaces for learning and exposure to various spaces, it does not necessarily mean that these slips are risk free.

            However, it is not to say that slipping is inherently a bad concept. After all, it is only through making mistakes that we as humans are able to learn. After being educated and after understanding why the things that are said are problematic, people are given an opportunity to grow and learn from these instances. In many cases, people who slip may have never had the chance to learn if they had not slipped in the first place. Still, these types of events beg the question: is it worth it for people to slip if they are harming others to a self-destructive point? Not all slips can be measured in the same manner after all – understanding that each situation is different and each slip must be seen differently is an important aspect to keep in mind. As each individual’s experience is varied, it becomes impossible to create black and white binaries of what slips should be made to foster discussions and which slips would be better off unsaid. In many cases, the victim of the slip may not feel comfortable in a position where they are, possibly once again, forced to become the educator. Rather than remaining in the contact zone, others may find it easier on them to remove themselves from the situation. There are many nuances that go into slippages and contact zones that are important to note because in many cases, contact zones provide unique opportunities where people are able to shed past assumptions and educate themselves. On the flip side, these slips also promote uncomfortable spaces for people these slips are made against as not all slips are the same in severity. Such slips – although they may be rectified – stay with the victim of the slip. It is not simple to forget harmful words, and may be even more difficult when understanding that the slip was made with no ill intention. These slips bring into light the general imbalances that are prevalent throughout society and not just in one person’s mind. Although one person may be educated about issues that they had not known about before, this may come at the cost of the well-being of another. Are we willing to sacrifice some for the education of others – this question further complicates the act of slipping.

            Slipping is messy, as are contact zones are messy. When differences collide, it is not easy to create clean distinctions or to even create binaries between who is wrong and who is right. Every situation calls for a different explanation because of the varying circumstances within it. Thus, slipping is an occurrence that may prove to be both beneficial and harmful in different degrees. While slipping creates these contact zones where people are able to foster discussion, there are situations where parties in the contact zone are unwilling to bend and learn. The lack of compromise may instead lead to a harmful zone, where people on either side are unsatisfied and instead hurt because of what had been done. While the only option seems to be creating educational spaces, the sheer impossibility of this feat allows for the negative aspects of slipping to arise.